Oh boy…Oprah is going to be pissed about this one!
In case you haven’t heard, Lindsay Lohan has come through for us again…in a big, big way! She allegedly wrote down all the dudes she slept with and somehow InTouch Weekly “obtained a copy.”
The list was allegedly written on January 30, 2013 at the Beverly Hills Hotel and Lindsay was allegedly there with friends and allegedly wrote down all 36 of her conquests. After showing off the list, she casually tossed it aside and someone scooped it up and skipped right to the InTouch Weekly office.
I would now like to share my thoughts on a few of the men who Herbied Lindsay (get it?).
Joaquin Phoenix aka J. Phoenix
I’m really hoping this was in his “I’m Still Here” phase where he grew that crazy beard and went all crazy. I’m going to throw this out there and say he must have got his hands on that bad batch of molly that was floating around Philadelphia a few months ago. I mean that would be the only logical explanation as to why Joaquin retired from acting after winning an Oscar to become a rap star. I can actually see Linds being down with that, you know, because I know her.
Just remember…Britney hit that first.
Zac Efron aka Zack Effron
I have two points I’d like to make about this:
2. Well, at least she knew his name…that’s really all we can ask for.
I pretty much thought all of the dudes Lindsay listed were legit until I saw Timberlake. I’m sure billions of women around the world say they have slept with Justin, but I really can’t see our girl Linds closing the deal on this one. I will say that I really hope this burns Jessica Biel! Why do I say that? Because he belongs with BRITNEY! I mean how many times do I have to say it!? Biel…step aside!
Anywho, there were some other famous dudes named on the list, such as Adam Levine, Max George (That guy from The Wanted) and even James Franco. A lot of the names were blurred…I’m sure in three days time all will be revealed.
In honor of his new film “The Lucky One” hitting theaters this week, I have decided to spotlight a gentleman that needs no introduction…
Whenever I hear Zac Efron’s name I get whiplash trying to locate him. Let’s be real, I know that he would never be in the same vicinity as me, but a girl can dream.
The beautiful and lovely Zachary David Alexander Efron was gloriously born Oct. 18, 1987 and hails from San Luis Obispo, California.
Fun Fact: Even though the beautiful and lovely Zac is agnostic, the name “Efron” means lark in Hebrew.
Zac graduated from Arroyo Grande High School in 2006 and during his time there participated in many theatre productions such as, “Gypsy,” “The Music Man” and “Peter Pan.” Zac was accepted to USC, but deferred his enrollment in order to pursue his acting/singing dreams.
Some of Zac’s early work consisted of guest spots on “ER,” “The Guardian,” “Summerland” and “CSI: Miami.” At this point in his career, Zac was still searching for that breakout roll. Who would have thought that the Disney Channel and a little movie called “High School Musical” would catapult him to the top.
Since the premiere of “High School Musical,” life for the beautiful and lovely Zac has been a whirlwind. He has appeared and/or starred in:
- Vanessa Hudgens’ music video “Say OK“
- Played Link Larkin in “Hairspray“
- Graced “High School Musical 2 and 3″ with his presence
- Surprised in “Me and Orson Wells“
- Made me cry in “Charlie St. Cloud“
- And made a cameo in “New Years Eve“
Up next for Zac is his highly anticipated role in “The Lucky One.” Maybe it’s not highly anticipated for you…but it is for me! Have you seen the preview?!
As for his personal life, Zac was linked to Vanessa Hudgens…they met on the set of “High School Musical.” Thankfully for the rest of us ladies they broke up in December 2010.
Next up for Zac is a starring role alongside Nicole Kidman in “The Paperboy.”
Zac – I will never forget that time you dropped the magnum condom on the red carpet. It made all the women in, I’m gonna say it, the entire world swoon. Stay classy, Zac.
I know, I know…its been quite some time since I’ve written an open letter to a celebrity. My rage blackouts have been less frequent. That could be from the anger management classes or because of some sweet advice from my roommate. She told me petting a cat lessens your stress level…I’ve started to carry the cat around in one of those backpacks for babies.
Dear Taylor Swift,
I know that by writing this open letter to “The Country Girl Next Door” I am going to get boatloads of mail telling me I’m going to hell or something of that sort. I’ll save you the stamp…I’ve already booked that ticket south.
What spurred this letter was a post on PerezHilton.com that I saw yesterday. The post was titled, “Taylor Swift and Zac Efron Went On A Flirty Dinner Date Together!! OMG!!”
Why would Perez or anyone for that matter be excited about this?! Taylor Swift is what Nelly Furtado and I like to call a “Maneater.” For those that don’t know (*cough* Taylor *cough*) a maneater is “an irresistible woman who chews and spits out men after using them for some sort of gain — be it sexual, financial or psychological.” Since Swift is making bank…I’m going to go with the sexual or psychological option for $500, Alex.
Let’s make a list of the men Swifty has plowed through:
1. Joe Jonas – Taylor probably burned that purity ring right off his finger.
2. Taylor Lautner – Taylor dating Taylor…Paris Hilton was probably thinking, “Been there, done that…did not loves it”
3. Jake Gyllenhaal – I have no words…only letters…W.T.F.
4. John Mayer – So after Jen Aniston AND Jessica Simpson you thought this was a good idea? Ugh, really?
5. Chord Overstreet – Maybe you thought you would try a blonde instead of all those brunettes. You better add a ginger to the mix…it’s called social justice.
And last, but certainly not least…it’s rumored that Taylor went on a date with Zac Efron. This is where I must draw the line. Efron and his abs are national treasures. Do not man eat him Taylor! He is precious like a rare gem!
In the spirit of being fair…if Taylor is dating all these men solely for inspiration to write music, I could get onboard the Swift train. I am a Kelly Clarkson fan after all. In all honesty, how pissed do you think John Mayer was when he heard “Dear John?”
In that jam, Taylor sings: “Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone /Don’t you think I was too young /To be messed with/The girl in the dress /Cried the whole way home, I should’ve known”
Yes, you should have known…everyone woman in the world knows!
Taylor – What is your secret…do you have a golden who-ha or something of the sort? One piece of advice…leave Efron alone!