Stuck in my head – ‘Talk That Talk’

Photo Courtesy: prettymuchamazing.com

Rihanna released her sixth studio album “Talk That Talk” Nov. 21, 2011. Let me tell you…I was pumped.

When Rihanna releases an album, she typically talks about the important things in life. For example, Umbrellas, S&M and the dangerous game of Russian Roulette…all important factors in my life, as they should be in yours. Needless to say, I was looking forward to the wisdom of her sixth CD.

The first track released off this album was “We Found Love” = superb choice. While the song is upbeat, the lyrics tell a different and sad story. As for the music video, it showed the masses that RiRi is still in pain. I feel bad for the Chris Brown look-a-like…do you think he gets heckled on the street?

Photo Courtesy: eonline.com

Side note: I’ll see you in hell Chris Brown!

When the album was released, I like to chose the songs that should be released as singles. I was seriously campaigning for “Talk that Talk” ft. Hova and was slightly disappointed when I heard “You Da One” playing on the radio a few days ago. Sad face.

After going through a period of denial, depression and recovery, I’ve have accepted “You Da One” as the second single, but realized that I don’t have to like it.

My goal with this post is to start an Internet movement/revolution in order to get “Talk that Talk” ft. Hova as the third single off RiRi’s album.

Here are some reasons why:

  1. It features Mr. Hova
  2. You can play this song extremely loud in your Honda and look like a boss
  3. Rihanna taught me how to count from 1 to 4…thanks boo
  4. Jay-Z says the word “pee”
  5. Rihanna chants at the end…and who doesn’t love a good chant

Favise Lyrics: “I’mma get it right on the first try for you” (As do I Rihanna, as do I ).

Rihanna – I know once you read this, you will be convinced to release “Talk That Talk” as your third single. All I ask in return is to be featured in the music video. I’ve been working on my Pop, Lock and Drop It and I think I’ve finally hit the nail on the head. See you on set girl!

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Speaking of Strippers…part III

While I’m still pouring through all of the fan mail and emails about your favise stripper jams (kidding), I have decided now is that time to conclude my Speaking of Strippers series.

The musical genre for this post is pop music…my specialty!

‘Can’t Be Tamed’ – Miley Cyrus

Photo Courtesy: starpulse.com

As we all know…Miss Cyrus is no stranger to pole dancing…so choosing a jam by this pop singer is a wise choice. The classy lady who chose Miley shall be called…Queen Bee and for those who don’t know, she can get a bit crazy…just like Miley!

In another life, I could see Miley being a very popular/entertaining exotic dancer. Her real name is Destiny Hope for goodness sakes!

Side note: I would take it as a compliment if someone said I would be a very popular/entertaining exotic dancer. I think it’s a skill you are born with.

As for Queen Bee’s performance…I see the dance starting out in a birdcage…just like the music video. When the chorus hits…the money will be flying out of the customer’s hands! Work it…like a glass of water.

Lyrics that exotic dancers would probably be proud of: “I go through guys like money flyin’ out the hands/They try to change me but they realize they can’t/And every tomorrow is a day I never plan/If you’re gonna be my man understand/I can’t be tamed”

Take a listen and remember…she’s just being Miley.

‘Umbrella’ – Rihanna

Photo Courtesy: naijapidginenglish.com

The final song one of my friends chose incase she decides to change to a more exotic career is “Umbrella.” This young lady picked the exotic dancer name…The Professor. Now that’s legit.

“Umbrella” is a very upbeat song that allows for one very special prop onstage…an umbrella…duh. I imagine The Professor’s routine including many umbrellas’ and handing them out…a nice parting gift for the customers.

I picture the “Umbrella” routine not only encompassing umbrellas, but also a shit ton of glitter. I have a feeling that if you add real water to the routine…the results might be less than favorable. I’m just trying to protect The Professor since I’m unsure if this career offers benefits.

Lyrics that exotic dancers would probably be proud of: Now that it’s raining more than ever/Know that we’ll still have each other/You can stand under my umbrella/You can stand under my umbrella

Watch and learn from Rihanna.

Well, that concludes my Speaking of Strippers series. If you are looking for additional information on this career path, I highly recommend “How to Make Love Like a Porn Star” by Jenna Jameson. It will change your life.


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