Hi, hi, hello! My name is India, and in addition to acting as Kari’s punching bag and legal representation on the Internet, I also have a few unpopular opinions. Unfortunately, I usually don’t know that my opinion is unpopular until I’m being reamed out in a spectacularly public fashion. Dear readers, I, like the dolphins in “Bridesmaids,” am here to save you from similar humiliation.
In my debut column, Unpopular Opinions, I will share some of my greatest (worst?) hits and also provide some superior alternatives so you can keep your thumb on the pulse of pop culture without having to suffer through inferior material. Let’s get started!
So, “Dancing with the Stars.” It’s a bad TV show, straight up. As loyal followers of Blog Like It’s Hot, you know that Kari and my other roommates are big fans of the show. As the only AT&T subscriber in the apartment, this puts me in a difficult spot when voting time comes around.
Despite the high ratings and endless line of C-list celebrities (sorry, Rob!), this show has failed to pique my interest.
First, the dancing is bad. Yes, yes, I know the premise of the show is teaching C- and D-listers to ballroom dance, but seriously. Viewers are forced to watch the same ballroom dances from episode to episode with little variation beyond who will screw up this time. How many times can someone realistically watch someone stumble through a paso doble before they are longing for something, anything, even infomercials, to break up the monotony? Pro-tip – I make it about ten minutes every time.
Second, the music is terrible. I love a good cover band, but the band on “Dancing with the Stars” is routinely sub-par, fumbling contemporary songs so badly that I cannot pay attention to anything else. The singers are nearly always off-key, the tempo is mangled, and the overall effect often forces me to leave the room clutching my ears. Points for enthusiasm, guys, but some songs just aren’t meant to be mashed into a sambo rhythm.
Skip to 2:00 to listen to the house band commit aural crimes against humanity as they butcher Gwen Stefani’s “What’chu Waiting For” while Mario Lopez attempts to tango.
Third, the costumes are questionable at best and seem to be approximately 30% double-sided tape. I’m not sure how being mostly covered in nude spandex with some flowy bits tacked on contributes to one’s ballroom dancing, but check out the monstrosity below.
So combine bad dancing, bad cover songs, and bad costumes, and we have a bad show. ”Dancing with the Stars.” I do not recommend it.
If you, and I understand the urge, need something to fill the dance-shaped hole in your life, try FOX’s “So You Think You Can Dance” or MTV’s “America’s Best Dance Crew.” Not only do the shows feature real dancers, but the music and costumes are waaaaay better! Checkout ABDC’s Season 1 winners, the Jabbawockeez, below!
There was exactly one damn thing I looked forward to on Sunday evenings…sitting on the couch and enjoying an episode of “GCB.” If you haven’t heard…I’ll be the bearer of bad news. ABC has cancelled the show…what bitches!
“GCB” is a comedic TV series that is loosely based on the novel “Good Christian Bitches” by Kim Gatlin. The show stars Leslie Bibb, Kristin Chenoweth, Annie Potts and a whole slew of other hilarious ladies and gentlemen.
The main storyline propelling the characters of “GCB” is the return of former high school bitch Amanda Vaughn to her hometown of Dallas, Texas. Moving home lands Amanda back in the presence of her old high school friends who still hold feelings of resentment towards her. What makes this show so hilarious is the religious undertone.
Honestly, that’s why me and my sweet, sweet mom love this show…as for members of the Catholic church…I’m going to guess that they do not feel the same. But, if you know me, you know I love a good Jesus joke which is why I gave this show the Kari stamp of approval.
Watch the clip below and you will understand why.
Last week, ABC did something equivalent to slapping me in the face and cancelled “GCB.” Can you hear America and some parts of Europe gasping?
Basically, “GCB” had a little hiccup in their ratings and ABC cut the show off at its knees. The network cancels “GCB” but it keeps “Wife Swap.” Really!?
Anywho, Wendy Williams has started an online petition to SAVE GCB! Since I always practice what I preach…I signed it and you should too!
Please sign and give me something to look forward to on Sunday evenings…I don’t want to watch “Wife Swap.”
Last evening was the premiere of a hilarious comedy brought to you by HBO. The comedy is “Veep” and it stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Anna Chlumsky (Yes, from My Girl) and Tony Hale.
Julia-Louis Dreyfus portrays Vice President Selina Meyer and it follows her trials and tribulations in that vital role.
I’m not going to lie, I was pumped about this show. While I knew this show was supposed to be a comedy, I wasn’t sure what type of humor they were going to dish out…that worried me.
The show is on air for a total of 30 minutes and I loled many, many times. The most memorable scene from the first episode titled “Fundraiser” occurred when Selina is told that a prominent Senator, who was known as a pervert, has passed away. Selina recalls the time the Senator “grabbed her left tit.” “Remember that?” the Veep asks.
Overall, I think “Veep” is worth the watch. It makes Sunday evenings a little bit more bearable and will give you a nice topic of conversation for the water cooler on Monday morning.
I wonder if Joe Biden’s life is like this? P.S…he is my celebrity sex list.
This past Saturday, I did not make my way out to the bar to hunt for a husband. Instead I stayed home and watched a Lifetime movie…typical. One of the reasons I love Lifetime is because they make movies based on real events. For example: “Amanda Knox: Murder on Trial in Italy” and “The Bling Ring.”
The movie I recently watched was “Drew Peterson: Untouchable.” Watching this film reminded me of my anger and I am once again severely appalled that these women let Peterson (creepfest) reel them in! Another thought, I wonder if Drew Peterson actually told his neighbor…”I’m untouchable, bitch.”
Anywho the actor who played Peterson is my Topless Tuesday champion for this week…
Ohh Rob <3 This gentleman has had quite a career spanning back to 1979. I’m getting ahead of myself…let me tap the breaks here.
On March 17, 1964 Robert Helper Lowe was birthed in Charlottesville, VA. Side note: when Rob was an infant he caught a virus that left him deaf in his right ear.
Rob attended Santa Monica High School…some of his schoolmates included Emilio Estevez, Charlie Sheen, Sean Penn, and Robert Downey, Jr…no big deal.
While Rob has had many, many roles, I only want to highlight a few (or we would be here for 17 days).
Rob Lowe is also a fan of the small screen. Starting in 1999, Rob played Sam Seaborn on “The West Wing” and after much controversy Rob left the series early. Side note: Rob passed on the role of Dr. Derek Shepherd on “Grey’s Anatomy!” Let me tell you…if Rob was on that show, I’d still be watching it.
In 2006, Rob took on the guest role of Robert McCallister on “Brother’s & Sisters.” His special guest role lasted until the 4th season. Spoiler Alert! They killed him off the show…how rude. Currently, Rob is taking on the hilarious role of Chris Traeger on “Parks and Recreation.”
Remember back in the day when Rob was out of control? I do and there is one movie of Rob’s that I didn’t mention yet…his sex tape! Way back when in 1998…more specifically the night before the Democratic National Convention…Rob and two ladies made a sex tape. While these tapes are common in Hollywood, Rob’s cause such an uproar because one of the girls was 16! That’s a no-no.
While his wild ways (which included some painkillers) did put some huge dents into his career, Rob has since bounced back and seems to be doing great! I love a good comeback story. These days Rob is spending time with his wife (ugh), two kids and making moves in Hollywood.
Rob – I have added the phrase “I’m untouchable, bitch” to my vocabulary. Thank you for that. P.S. keep doing Lifetime movies…preferably with your shirt off <3
If you don’t know who Kelly Kapowski is…I really don’t know how to help you with that. But if you do know her…it’s time to celebrate!
Okay, okay it’s not really Kelly Kapowski’s birthday…but it is Tiffani-Amber Thiessen’s 38th birthday! Tiffani is best known for her TV roles on “Saved By the Bell” and “Beverly Hill, 90210.”
In 1974, the birthday girl was born in Long Beach, California and grew up to be an actual beauty queen.
In 1987, Tiffani was crowned Miss Junior America and won the “Great Model Search” sponsored by Teen magazine. Winning this contest landed Tiffani on the cover of the mag and helped her obtain the biggest role of her life…Kelly Kapowski.
When Tiffani was 15 she auditioned for “Saved By the Bell” and won the role! Let me tell you, I would not be the woman I am today without Kelly Kapowski!
When “Saved By the Bell” sadly ended after those awkward college years, Aaron Spelling scooped Tiffani up and dropped her into the 90210 zip code. Tiffani played Valarie Malone who is described as “unwholesome and emotionally troubled.” The best kind of character.
After her time in “Beverly Hill, 90210” was up, Tiffani starred in a boatload of made for TV movies and now she is currently starring on USA’s “White Collar” with the beautiful Matt Bomer.
Let’s get personal…back in the day Tiffani dated Brian Austin Green aka Mr. Megan Fox and was engaged to Richard Ruccolo…that guy from “Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place.” It didn’t work out with Richard…this gave me hope that Mark Paul Gosselaar was still an option.
Much to my dismay, Tiffani married Brady Smith in 2005. They also have a baby together named Harper.
On that note…let’s relive the good old days…and remember there is no hope with dope!
Tiffani – Happy Birthday! Thanks to you, I’m still looking for my Zack Morris.
[Enter sad face here] If you haven’t heard the news, “Pan Am” is pretty much kaput and I am blue over this news.
Hopefully you have all seen a clip or the entire series thus far of ABC’s period drama/historical fiction show “Pan Am.” Sit down because I’m about to tell the truth. I have watched every episode and have loved it. I am currently involved and invested.
I have to admit before “Pan Am” aired and the promos were haunting my dreams, I was on the brink of giving the show a “demeaning to women” stamp. But after watching a total of eight episodes, I have noticed the following things:
- Flying is just not the way it used to be during the Pan Am era. Yea, I’m talking about you AirTran.
- News Flash: Smoking is currently not allowed on planes. And don’t even think about tampering with the smoke detectors in the ladies lounge. You will be escorted off the plane and not by a fine gentleman, more like a federal agent who is mean.
- Not all flight attendants are female. There was a dude flight attendant on my last flight who dropped a bag of peanuts on my head and I didn’t even get a free drink!
- I’m about 87.9 percent sure that flight attendants aren’t doing secret missions for the CIA, but you never know…
Mind blow alert: The character of Kate, played by Kelli Garner, also appeared in the Gos-Gos classic “Lars and the Real Girl.” Hint, she’s not the anatomically correct doll. You go, Kelli!
I’m making a decision, decision made…I am going to exercise my right to protest and head over to ABC and holler “Pan Am is a national treasure and you better keep it on the air” repeatedly.
I can tell you now my voice will eventually stop working so I will need backup. Get at me if you’d like to protest with me. I have even started collecting cash money for art supplies in order to create some pro-Pan Am signs. Who is with me!?
If you are still on the fence…come out an protest with me for the simple fact that if we let this show silently slip away, it will be decades before we see Christina Ricci again. Okay, that’s not true, she has a couple of movies coming down the pike, but it’s nice to see her face once a week.
ABC – prepare yourself for hurricane Kari…no one puts “Pan Am” in a corner.
For my final wish, I have chosen to spend the day with…drumroll please…
John plays the cute and loveable Jim Halpert on “The Office” and he seems to be just as cute and loveable in real life. Too bad Emily Blunt scooped him up and put a ring on John before I could.
On the bright side, John has two older brothers…Kevin and Paul…hopefully single and ready to mingle!
Born Oct. 20, 1979, John is from the classier part of the States…Newton, Massachusetts. I’m gonna hop into my time machine and jump ahead to John’s adult life…he attended Brown University to study theatre arts. I knew I should have weaseled my way into the Ivy Leagues…dammit.
After graduating with honors (he’s so smart), John travelled to New York City and worked towards his dream of becoming an actor.
He appeared in commercials and guest spots on television shows while working as a waiter…you have to pay the bills somehow.
Side note: 11 years ago…John was also a script intern for “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” show.
We really got acquainted with John in March of 2005…when the first episode of “The Office” aired. John plays Jim Halpert and there are three real reasons to love both of these men:
- Jim Halpert loves practical jokes
- Jim Halpert loves Pam…a lot…sigh
- John Krasinski traveled to SCRANTON, PA (where “The Office” is filmed and where I was birthed) to film Scranton landmarks and the clips of the fabulous city that are shown in the opening credits
Along with his thriving TV career, John is starting to make a name for himself outside “The Office.” Mr. Krasinski has starred and/or made cameos in some pretty well known films…let’s make a short list:
- The Holiday
- It’s Complicated
While this list isn’t John’s entire filmography, I have gather this much…he has come into contact with Beyoncé, Kate Winslet, George Clooney and Alec Baldwin <3 I’m such a jelly belly right now.
Okay, I’ve put this off long enough…in 2008 John was set up with his future wife (Emily Blunt) by Anne Hathaway. I guess the first date went well because July 10, 2010 these two beauties got hitched. It’s not like I can be mad at Emily for marrying this fine gentleman. I would have done the same damn thing.
Why would I wish to hang out with John?
This tall glass of water is cute, funny, smart and successful…why wouldn’t a single lady like myself want to hang out with him?! On top of all those great things…he has been to SCRANTON! That’s a man after my own heart.
John – if you are EVER in Scranton, PA again…my mom has a nice castle on the west side that we would be more than happy to have you slumber at. If it’s absolutely necessary, I guess your wife can come too. Call me!
This hil.ar.ious lady has been in the acting business since 1997! She has recently floated into spotlight for her portrayal as Megan in one of my new favise films, “Bridesmaids.”
Let’s bring it back to August 26, 1970. This day in Plainfield, Illinois…Melissa was birthed. She was raised on a farm and went to Catholic school…all of that screams future comedian to me.
After graduating from school, Melissa peaced out and moved to New York City. She rode the stand-up comedy train and was a member of The Groundlings comedy troupe.
The Groundlings also brought Melissa a gift besides fine-tuning her comedic pipes…a husband! While a part of the troupe, Melissa met her future husband and baby daddy, Ben Falcone.
Hopping to 1997, Melissa was given her first onscreen role by her cousin, Jenny McCarthy (fun fact!) and appeared on “Jenny.” Melissa continued to nab many supporting roles and in 2000 she landed in Stars Hallow, Connecticut taking on the role of Sookie St. James on “Gilmore Girls. Sookie is described as “the loveable control freak and scatterbrain/klutzy best friend of Lorelai Gilmore.” Sadly, in 2007 the “Gilmore Girls” run came to an end.
A few additional notches on Melissa’s resume include guest roles on “Private Practice” and “Rita Rocks.” As for movies, Melissa had supporting roles in “The Back-Up Plan” and “Life As We Know It.”
It wasn’t until 2010 where Melissa finally stepped out of the supporting roles and into the lead. Currently, Melissa is staring as Molly on the CBS sitcom “Mike & Molly.” In case you didn’t read my extremely well written Emmy blog post, Melissa won the Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series Emmy for this role!
Melissa really turned heads as Megan in “Bridesmaids” and there are just so many hilarious/ridiculous scenes to mention. Here is a good one:
I’d like to thank Melissa for adding a new phrase to my vocab… “yea oh shit. yea oh shit.”
Recently, Melissa’s schedule has gotten quite full. She is in the planning process of designing a plus-size clothing line and hosted “Saturday Night Live” this past week. This funny lady has received glowing praise for her hosting duties! Good work boo. Looking forward to the laughs you will be delivering in the future!
Why do I want to have dinner with Melissa:
Why not!? She’s funny as hell. So funny that I hope I don’t pee my pants while we are in public.
One question I couldn’t leave without asking:
How many takes did it take for you to get through the airplane scene with air marshal John?
Where I would want to have dinner:
Don Pablos. We need to be in an arena that serves margaritas and chips & salsa.
Mischa Barton was famous
Mischa – what is going on here, girl? Get. It. Together! Before I delve into “The O.C.” era, let’s take a few steps back. Mischa began her career when she was 8-years-old, mainly in off-Broadway plays. She slowly starting moving into movie roles…remember how eerie/creepy/scary she was in the “The Sixth Sense?”
As she grew up into a lady, Mischa appeared in a bunch of other movies and music videos. She took her shirt off in front of Enrique Iglesias and caused James Blunt a severe amount of pain in his “Goodbye My Lover” video. I always wondered who the woman was that ripped out James Blunt’s heart…it was Mischa all along!
Now let’s get to the good stuff. In August 2003, Fox started doing something right and premiered “The O.C.” I was in front of my television…don’t pretend like you weren’t. This show had all of the elements a great tv show needs: a sexy nerd (Adam Brody), a bad guy that turned good (Benjamin McKenzie), a rich girl who loves the bad boy but has a controlling/crazy bf (Mischa Barton) and the cool parents (Peter Gallagher and Kelly Rowan). This show was a teenage goldmine.
Because of her role as Marissa Cooper, Mischa shot to a new level of fame. Unfortunately, she caught the Katherine Heigl syndrome and made the decision to leave “The O.C.” before the fans were ready to let her go. To this day I remember the scene where Marissa Cooper dies in Ryan’s arms…devastating.
Mischa’s reasoning for leaving, “My character has been through so, so much and there’s really nothing more left for her to do,” “Barton told “Access Hollywood.” Let’s be real, after Mischa left the show, that was the final nail in the coffin.
In her spare time, she has also joined the ranks of those young celebs that have a penchant for getting arrested. In 2007, Mischa was busted for DUI, possession of marijuana and driving without a valid license.
In another bizarre twist, Mischa went to her dentist because she had a toothache…next thing you know she’s in the psych ward! Mischa says of the incident, “I am terrified of needles and they wanted to pump me full of drugs and I said, “No, absolutely not. I don’t want to be here,” and got into a fight with the nurses, and that led to my 5150.”
After giving it her all, Mischa hasn’t maintained the fame she earned from the “The O.C.” She has starred in various movies and is currently filming a movie for Lifetime…we all know that means.
Mischa – Look at the beautiful men that flocked around you when you had your life together. Get. It. Together. Maybe you’ll get an O.C. reunion out of the deal.