If celebs ruled ‘The Real World’

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Yes, I’m one of those people that still watches “The Real World.” I wish that I bought or stole a video camera so I could film my life and get my ass on that damn show. Who doesn’t want to put their life on hold for three months and drink on national television?

Last evening was the start of the 26th season of…dare I say…the first reality show. The cast has been relocated to San Diego…the same place that season 14 was filmed. MTV – get it together and pick new cities.

Anywho, “The Real World” got me thinking. What if we placed celebrities in a house and filmed what happened? Don’t even think about saying “The Surreal Life,” I’m talking real celebrities and not Mini Me. As you all know, there are classic “Real World” stereotypes. I will attempt to fill them with the appropriate celebs and magically create an unforgettable season.

Vin Diesel

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I would cast this street racer as the crazy drunk guy that beats people and/or walls. Every season has that guy who is intoxicated 94.8% of the time. A more recent example being, Adam from Las Vegas part II.

Adam had one too many at the bar…gets kicked out of a Las Vegas bar (I didn’t even know that could happen) and goes up to their suite and starts throwing glass and swinging at various roommates.

Whether or not Vin is a big partier, he’s got that bad boy twinkle in his eye. I can see him at the club dancing and having a good time…when he gets back to the house…ripping doors off hinges in a fit of rage. I wish I could be there to watch him rage out with his shirt off.

Julia Stiles

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I would cast this beauty as the girl who is single and ready to mingle, but has a 4.0 GPA. Almost every season, there is a lady on the show who likes to hit the town, but doesn’t become Snooki after a few cocktails.

This description reminds me from Kelley from New Orleans part I. She was the cool girl that everyone got along with. One evening while out at the bar, Kelley meets and scores a doctor …jackpot! After that gift from Jesus, Kelley was rarely seen on the season and I don’t blame her.

Julia Stiles would fit very nicely into this role. She earned an English Lit degree from Columbia University and can bust out sweet dances moves that will give you whiplash.

Julia describes herself as a feminist and she wrote an article in “The Guardian” back in 2004 about the roles she has taken on and what it means in our society.

Julia – you’re so smart, I feel like you would have the most inspiring moments in the confessional.

Tara Reid

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Of course you need the girl who lives to party. There are just too many Real World alums to mention that have taken on this role with great pride. Many celebs came to mind while choosing this member for the celeb cast…Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Courtney Love…

Why did I choose Tara? Remember that time she lost her front tooth, glued it back in and continued to party?! She was so dedicated to the cause that she reportedly glued her own tooth back in. Paris and Lindsay – you should be ashamed of yourselves.

I was doing a little reading on Miss Reid and found out an interesting tidbit…she was born and raised in Jersey. If the whole tooth debacle didn’t convince you that Tara has earned the position as house partier, her home state should.

Tara – I won’t ever get over the tooth thing, but I would still like to party with you and live to tell the story.

Of course there is more…stay tuned!

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Remember When…

Joshua Jackson was in “Urban Legend”

Yes, let’s bring it back to the 90s horror genre when you couldn’t pick up the phone without being asked “what’s your favorite scary movie?” or someone leaving you a note that read “I know what you did last summer.”

“Urban Legend” gave us another one of these classy horror films. As the movie progresses, we see the characters being knocked off one-by-one. Tara Reid, Rebecca Gayheart and Jared Leto also star in this Academy Award nominated film (I kid, I kid).

In my opinion, I will  vote for “Urban Legend” as the best of the 90s horror films for the sole fact that Joshua Jackson graced us with his presence. Even though I wasn’t a huge fan of his blonde locks, I’m willing to forgive. Put this DVD in your Netflix’s queue before they make that 60% price increase!


Hottest Hot Messes

Amy Winehouse

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Oh Amy! What else can we say about her? Recently, Winehouse had scheduled a 12 stop European tour that was supposed to begin her comeback. Well it looks like those comeback dreams have quickly died. She has recently canceled the comeback that was supposed to end all comeback.Why did Winehouse put a stop to her tour? I believe it has something to do with the fact that she was booed off stage in Serbia last Sa. According to the LA Times, she was booed for “flubbing lyrics, yelling at her band and leaving long gaps of silence during numbers.”

Amy, take some tips from B. Spears. Her weave is on point, meds are regulated and shes got a great album!

Where did that singer with the tons of Grammy nominations go? I guess they should make her go back to rehab.

Snooki

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If you have ever watched “The Jersey Shore” you know that Snooki is a hot mess. From getting arrested for being extremely drunk on the beach, showing her whoo-haa pretty much daily and her drunk dials on the duck phone, the evidence is there for all to see.

Regardless of being a hot mess, she is one lovable hot mess. Snooki truly cares about her Jersey Shore family and we love her for that.

We already know of one hilarious moment from this upcoming season …Snooki crashing into an Italian officers car. Hey, she got to keep her license…point Snooki. Get ready for Season 4 of the Shore! The gang is off to Italy and it is sure to be full of ridiculousness and hilarious moments.

Stay strong Team Snooki !

Tara Reid

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Going from teenage dream to plain hot mess, we all know Tara Reid and her numerous hot mess occurrences. She had a pretty popping career in the beginning. Remember when she made appearances in “Urban Legend,” “Cruel Intentions” and “American Pie?”

I thought Miss Reid was going to graduate from teen comedy movies to more adult roles. I guess when you allegedly lose a front tooth at a party then get on the ground and search for it and then proceed to glue it back in…you have graduated to a hot mess.

While Reid denies this ever happened, it made me wonder how rumors such as this begin. I understand how rumors of a celebrity hooking up with someone starts, but losing a tooth! Let’s be real.


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