Speaking of Strippers…part II

In keeping with the stripper theme, I took it upon myself to poll some friends. They have graciously shared some pretty hoppin songs they would exotically dance to.

I have gathered four responses and I am going to group them in terms of their musical genre. The first genre will be a stretch for me…industrial rock/alternative rock music.

‘Closer’ - Nine Inch Nail

Photo Courtesy: giantbomb.com

Since I promised to change names in order to protect the innocent, this friend of mine requested to be called Ginger Snaps…aka her stripper name. Now who wouldn’t want to tip a lady with a name like that?

What peaked my interest about Ginger Snaps response was when I asked what song she would choose…she immediately blurted out “Closer.” Looks like someone has thought about this before…tsk-tsk.

For those of you who have never heard “Closer” before, I’m warning you…the lyrics are toeing the R-rated line…I had to prove to YouTube that I was over 18 to watch the music video.

This jam has an excellent beat to shake your bon bon (and other areas) to, but the lyrics may give some people the wrong idea. Hey – whatever you’re into right?

Lyrics that exotic dancers would probably be proud of: “You get me closer to God.” It’s probably because they can climb a pole with all four limbs.

‘Uprising’ – Muse

Photo Courtesy: wikipedia.org

Next up on the track list is a sweet jam by alternative rock band Muse. The lovely lady who chose this song actually called me to sing the lyrics…and what a beautiful voice she has.

This friend of mine requested to be called Coco…and not because of the reality show “Ice Loves Coco.”

Anywho, this Muse jam seems like an unlikely song to get your exotic dance on to…but Coco witnessed this jam in action at an actual strip club. She said it works and I believe her.

I think the occasional guitar riff throughout helps boosts this song’s stripper cred. If you take a listen and close your eyes…you can map out your dance moves from home.

Another aspect of this jam that cements it into the mix tapes of strippers everywhere, is that fact that this is a “let’s rage against the machine” kinda song. If that doesn’t make you want to dance on or by a pole, I don’t know what will.

Lyrics that exotic dancers would probably be proud of: “They will not force us/They will stop degrading us/They will not control us/We will be victorious”

Bitchin

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Remember When…

Limp Bizkit did it all for the nookie?

Photo Courtesy: themusicstories.com

You remember Fred Durst, right? He was the guy who did it all for the nookie, so you could take that cookie. I’m a few years wiser from when the song “Nookie” came out and I still don’t know what the cookie part means. Is there a real cookie involved…like an Oreo? If so, that changes a lot of things. Call me if anyone knows the answer to this conundrum.

Limp Bizkit formed in 1995 with Floridian band members: Fred Durst – lead vocals, Wes Borland – guitar, Sam Rivers – bass, John Otto – drums and DJ Lethal – rockin DJ.

It wasn’t until 1999, when their second album “Significant Other” was released that the world really took notice. This album debuted at #1 on Billboards Top 200 and has sold over 16 million copies worldwide. Not too bad, Fred. This album gave us many memorable hits and lured me to love any man who wore a red NY Yankee hat backwards…come on ladies, you know you did too.

Photo Courtesy: nymag.com

Following “Significant Other” up with “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water,” (inside joke much?) the band didn’t disappoint. Released October 17, 2000 – Fred and the gang were still banging out hits. This album also debuted at #1 on the Billboard charts, selling 12 million worldwide as of 2008. Limp Bizkit gave me and many other fans some more angry rock music to rage against the machine with.

As we all know, when you’re on top, you can only roll downhill and that downfall started when guitarist Wes Borland peaced out. Limp Bizkit found a replacement and released “Results May Vary” in 2003. Debuting at #3 on the Billboard charts and sold…doesn’t matter. Fact is, many people didn’t like this album…but I kind of did. My favorite Limp Bizkit jam on this album is “Behind Blue Eyes.” Why? Because Halle Berry is in the video! You know you’re famous when…

Limp Bizkit has tried to claw their way back to the top…sorry Fred, not happening yet. Maybe you need to start harassing teen pop idols like you did back in the good old days. Let’s hop into our time machine to a time when Fred Durst thought he was the genie in Xtina’s bottle? This all started when Eminem blew up their spot in “The Real Slim Shady.” Marshall used the following words:

“Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs/So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst/And hear ‘em argue over who she gave head to first.”

Photo Courtesy: mtv.com

O0o0o that’s a no-no. Xtina’s comment on this ordeal: “He got no nookie.” I’m going to make a decision…decision made. I believe Xtina. In terms of Carson, I do recall Xtina getting more time on TRL than the other teen idols…just saying.

Fred also tried to spread vicious rumors about my spiritual goddess B. Spears. I can’t bring myself to relive that pain.

There is something weirdly/wrongly sexy about Fred Durst. I remember trying to convince my mom to buy me the “Significant Other” album because it had that parental advisory sticker on it. That was where my negotiating skills really soared to new heights. I thought I was so badass listening to this album on the playground. Now I realized badass wasn’t quite the word to describe that point in my life.

Fred – all I have to say is good luck and don’t drag Britney into this…we have enough to deal with right now!


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