What About Cher?!

Cher-Portrait_s640x427

As much as I hate to admit it, I am officially over the 25 year hump on this journey we call life. In regards to my musical heroes, I grew up with Britney, Xtina and even a splash of Mandy Moore (Remember her?!).

Anywho, pretty much every time a lady singer of the early 2000s won an MTV Award, Teen Choice Award or were just being interviewed by that old guy from MTV News, they always said Madonna is “my hero” or “my inspiration” or whatever. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think Madonna has done some groundbreaking things – for example the “Like A Prayer” music video and the cone bra…but what about Cher!?

I will preface the rest of this article by saying I’m extremely partial to Cher. Cher is my mom’s Britney Spears – her spiritual goddess. I’ve been listening to her music since my time in the womb. Therefore, I want to share some of Cher’s greatest moments because she deserves some God damn recognition!

3. She’s a Pillar of Women’s Rights

Cher has many, many songs that empower women to leave those loser men behind and be stronger than yesterday…get it? Cher’s latest pro-lady power song that I’d like to mention is titled “Women’s World.”

Here, Cher tells me that This is a woman’s world / This is a woman’s world / Tell the truth / This is a woman’s world / Tell the truth / This is a woman’s world. And I think we’ve found Hilary Clinton’s campaign theme song.

2. She Can Wear Next to Nothing on a Battleship and #killit

If you are a Cher fan…you know what I’m referring to. Let’s go back…back to 1989 when Cher released the song “If I Could Turn Back Time.” The music video took place on the battleship USS Missouri where Cher was romping around singing to a ton of sailors – how patriotic of her.

Believe it or not, this music video caused a lot of controversy because of Cher’s outfit. She was wearing such little clothing that this video was even banned by MTV! What was this scandalous outfit? Well, it was basically some leather scraps and tights. I would also like to mention that Cher was 43 at the time. This music video is another reason why Cher should be appreciated more.

1. She Can Do it All

Cher is a woman of many talents. Let’s delve deeper into her accomplishments:

Cher…

  • Has an Oscar for her role in Moonstruck
  • Pioneered the use of auto tune – without Cher, T-Pain would not exist
  • Won an Emmy, a Grammy, and three Golden Globes
  • Is a professional cougar…Cher has dated Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer,Richie Sambora and Rob Camilletti aka Bagel Boy
  • Tweets amazing things, such as:

Screen shot 2014-07-30 at 10.26.22 PM Screen shot 2014-07-30 at 10.23.14 PM

Screen shot 2014-07-30 at 10.21.49 PM

As you can see, there are so many reasons to thank Cher. Personally, she has paved the way for me to be able to wear a leather jacket over my see through bodysuit. With that being said, I would like to thank Cher for being a HBIC, an inspiration and one cool ass lady!

 


Songs That Could Have Been

I always love hearing about songs that were originally offered to one artist and the other artist who was wise enough to take said jam and run all the way up the musical charts.

For example, did you know that Since You’ve Been Gone was originally offered to Hilary Duff, but Lil Lizze Mcguire turned that shit down. As we all know, Kelly Clarkson picked that up and it was a HUGE hit. I will say that I am a fan of H. Duff, but I can only imagine Clarkson conveying that deep, deep man rage.

Another example…Nicole Scherzinger was offered We Found Love but turned it down because she was “busy at the time.” Who’s wearing the regret cap now, eh Nicole?! 

There are tons of hit songs out there that were originally written for one artist and were scooped up by others. It’s like these pop singers sit around trading these songs like baseballs cards or something. Below is one song that fits this particular bill and the other two are just covers that I really like. Guess which one is which and you’ll win a prize!

Beyoncé – In Da Club

Remember when 50 Cent blew us out of the water with this song? Well shorty…just like every thing else…Beyonce did it better. Boom.

Britney Spears  – Telephone

While the Britney version is 98% autotuned…I obviously like this better than the GaGa version. You’re probably thinking “typical Kari response.” Well I don’t like change so…Britney forever!

Alanis Morissette – My Humps

Alanis has turned this upbeat, dance jam into a slow, slow jam that sounds like she wrote this crying alone in a dark room. I’m still waiting for someone to answer the question: What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?


My Summer Song Has Arrived: “West Coast”

Photo Courtesy: www.idolator.com

Photo Courtesy: http://www.idolator.com

Even though I am a fan of the East Coast, Lana Del Rey is putting up a pretty good argument for the West Coast.

Debuting this jam at Coachella, this will be the first single off of Lana’s third studio album “Ultraviolence” and I couldn’t be happier.

While this isn’t the official music video, take a look at Lana spinning around on the beach with some oddly good-looking dude with long beautiful blonde locks.

As we know, I am a fan of the redic lyrics Lana sings and this time is no different. Lyrics to listen out for:

On the balcony and I’m singing / Ooh baby, ooh baby, I’m in love / I can see my sweet boy swinging / He’s crazy and Cubano como yo my love

Be on the lookout for a black on black Ford Fiesta blasting this song all. summer. long.

 

 


That Voice Came from Where?!

Did you ever listen to a song and picture what the person looked like in your mind before you saw what they actually looked like? I tend to do that a lot since I listen to Spotify for almost 8 hours a day. What else am I supposed to do at work?! Oops, can’t say that. :)

One song that I have caught myself listening to over and over again is “Love Me Again” by John Newman. When I first heard this song, I picture John Newman as a more fit Zac Brown. Well, I must say I was totally wrong. When I actually saw what John Newman looked like, I got a slight case of whiplash.

In case you haven’t heard this jam, please watch this video where you can’t see what John Newman looks like. See below:

So do you have a mental picture of what John Newman looks like? Ok, I’m about ready to blow your mind:

Photo Courtesy: www.last.fm

Photo Courtesy: http://www.last.fm

Now tell me that wasn’t what you expected to see! I’m still in disbelief that this man is actually singing this song.

Since we are already talking about John Newman, here are some fun facts in order to help you get to know John a bit better:

  • He is 23 years old and from the UK.
  • John has woken up in a jail cell before (into it). He was arrested for cruising mopeds on other people’s property. I was hoping for indecent exposure or something real wild.
  • He worked as a glass collector (unsure if this is what I think it means) and a bartender before venturing to music.

As for his relationship status, sorry ladies, John has a significant other. In the words of Regina George…boo you whore.


Happy Holiday!

No, I don’t mean Thanksgiving or Hanukkah…I mean the day Britney Spears was born!

Photo Courtesy: www.freefever.com

Photo Courtesy: http://www.freefever.com

Today is Britney’s 32nd birthday and I am so happy that Brit has made it another year. Let’s be real, it was getting a bit dicey back in 2007 : /

Anywho, I’m spending the evening celebrating with my cat. We are getting wild like it’s 2007!

Don’t forget, Britney Jean (Britney’s 8th studio album) is out tomorrow. I will be listening to it from 8:30 am until the early evening. Feel free to check in and get my opinion. Who are we kidding, I’ll probably say it’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.

Happy Birthday Brit! I love you.


Gaga Drags R. Kelly Out Da Closet

Photo Courtesy: www.eonline.com

Photo Courtesy: http://www.eonline.com

Remember when Lady Gaga was your ordinary, run-of-the-mill pop star? Yes, I’m bringing it back to those days when she was rocking leotards and poking faces.

I enjoyed those days. She was what she was…and that was a woman who could sing catchy pop songs. Well, I must have been in quite the heavy blackout because next thing you know Gaga is acting like a spiritual leader of sorts. She even allowed herself to be reborn…take that Jesus.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Gaga does great things as an activist, but the songs on Artpop still seem like just pop songs. I’m not the only one who is thinking this stuff. The reviews for Artpop aren’t exactly kneeling at her alter.

As everyone knows, I do enjoy a damn good pop song and Gaga does deliver in that regard. Case in point: Do What U Want feat. R. Kelly.

Lyrics I would like to comment on:

Lady Gaga: I feel good, I walk alone/But then I trip by myself and I fall/I, I stand up, and then I’m okay

Kari: Is this what inspiration feels like?

Lady Gaga: So do what you want/What you want with my body/Do what you want/Don’t stop, let’s party

Kari: Inappropriate for anyone under 18. For the over 18 crowd, this is a great opening line at the bar or other types of social gatherings.

R. Kelly: Do what I want/Do what I want with your body/Ya we taking these haters and we roughin’ ‘em up/And we laying a cut like we don’t give a fuck

Kari: I never realized until this moment that R. Kelly is the Maya Angelou of our time. Someone call Oprah!

After listening to this song on repeat pretty much all day, I have to say I’m glad Lady Gaga could convince Kells to exit the closet and drop some beats.


Some Good ‘Bangerz’

Miley-Cyrus-Bangerz-Album-Cover

Photo Courtesy: http://mashable.com

At some point last week, Miley Cyrus release her new album, Bangerz, and Spotify suggested I give it a listen. While Spotify doesn’t always hit the nail on the head, I figured it was my duty as an American to give the album a spin.

Overall, I’m into it. Of course there are some songs I don’t like and don’t understand. For example 4×4, #GETITRIGHT, Love Money Party and My Darlin’. I won’t post these songs, you can Google them. But if you’ve heard them, you know what I’m talking about.

Ok, let’s get down to business. Here are my top 3 Miley Bangerz:

Someone Else

I know, I know, another breakup song. I’m saving up money to speak with a professional about my feelings. Feel free to donate to the cause.

Anywho, Someone Else, sounds like Miley was changing her ways for a gentleman. Ladies, haven’t we all felt this way? Well obviously she slammed on the breaks when she realized that was happening. #StrongerThanYesterday.

FU 

Jeez Liam, you must have really pissed Miley off.

Drive

This is my favorite banger on the whole album, besides Wrecking Ball of course. And yes, it’s another sad song about being alone. I really do need some type of counseling.

Miley, you did a great job of organizing these tracks. I felt like this album was the evolution of your love story with Liam Hemsworth. I could tell you really had it with his shit by track six. You go girl.


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