Songs That Could Have Been

I always love hearing about songs that were originally offered to one artist and the other artist who was wise enough to take said jam and run all the way up the musical charts.

For example, did you know that Since You’ve Been Gone was originally offered to Hilary Duff, but Lil Lizze Mcguire turned that shit down. As we all know, Kelly Clarkson picked that up and it was a HUGE hit. I will say that I am a fan of H. Duff, but I can only imagine Clarkson conveying that deep, deep man rage.

Another example…Nicole Scherzinger was offered We Found Love but turned it down because she was “busy at the time.” Who’s wearing the regret cap now, eh Nicole?! 

There are tons of hit songs out there that were originally written for one artist and were scooped up by others. It’s like these pop singers sit around trading these songs like baseballs cards or something. Below is one song that fits this particular bill and the other two are just covers that I really like. Guess which one is which and you’ll win a prize!

Beyoncé – In Da Club

Remember when 50 Cent blew us out of the water with this song? Well shorty…just like every thing else…Beyonce did it better. Boom.

Britney Spears  – Telephone

While the Britney version is 98% autotuned…I obviously like this better than the GaGa version. You’re probably thinking “typical Kari response.” Well I don’t like change so…Britney forever!

Alanis Morissette – My Humps

Alanis has turned this upbeat, dance jam into a slow, slow jam that sounds like she wrote this crying alone in a dark room. I’m still waiting for someone to answer the question: What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?

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My Summer Song Has Arrived: “West Coast”

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Even though I am a fan of the East Coast, Lana Del Rey is putting up a pretty good argument for the West Coast.

Debuting this jam at Coachella, this will be the first single off of Lana’s third studio album “Ultraviolence” and I couldn’t be happier.

While this isn’t the official music video, take a look at Lana spinning around on the beach with some oddly good-looking dude with long beautiful blonde locks.

As we know, I am a fan of the redic lyrics Lana sings and this time is no different. Lyrics to listen out for:

On the balcony and I’m singing / Ooh baby, ooh baby, I’m in love / I can see my sweet boy swinging / He’s crazy and Cubano como yo my love

Be on the lookout for a black on black Ford Fiesta blasting this song all. summer. long.



That Voice Came from Where?!

Did you ever listen to a song and picture what the person looked like in your mind before you saw what they actually looked like? I tend to do that a lot since I listen to Spotify for almost 8 hours a day. What else am I supposed to do at work?! Oops, can’t say that. :)

One song that I have caught myself listening to over and over again is “Love Me Again” by John Newman. When I first heard this song, I picture John Newman as a more fit Zac Brown. Well, I must say I was totally wrong. When I actually saw what John Newman looked like, I got a slight case of whiplash.

In case you haven’t heard this jam, please watch this video where you can’t see what John Newman looks like. See below:

So do you have a mental picture of what John Newman looks like? Ok, I’m about ready to blow your mind:

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Now tell me that wasn’t what you expected to see! I’m still in disbelief that this man is actually singing this song.

Since we are already talking about John Newman, here are some fun facts in order to help you get to know John a bit better:

  • He is 23 years old and from the UK.
  • John has woken up in a jail cell before (into it). He was arrested for cruising mopeds on other people’s property. I was hoping for indecent exposure or something real wild.
  • He worked as a glass collector (unsure if this is what I think it means) and a bartender before venturing to music.

As for his relationship status, sorry ladies, John has a significant other. In the words of Regina George…boo you whore.

Happy Holiday!

No, I don’t mean Thanksgiving or Hanukkah…I mean the day Britney Spears was born!

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Today is Britney’s 32nd birthday and I am so happy that Brit has made it another year. Let’s be real, it was getting a bit dicey back in 2007 : /

Anywho, I’m spending the evening celebrating with my cat. We are getting wild like it’s 2007!

Don’t forget, Britney Jean (Britney’s 8th studio album) is out tomorrow. I will be listening to it from 8:30 am until the early evening. Feel free to check in and get my opinion. Who are we kidding, I’ll probably say it’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.

Happy Birthday Brit! I love you.

Gaga Drags R. Kelly Out Da Closet

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Remember when Lady Gaga was your ordinary, run-of-the-mill pop star? Yes, I’m bringing it back to those days when she was rocking leotards and poking faces.

I enjoyed those days. She was what she was…and that was a woman who could sing catchy pop songs. Well, I must have been in quite the heavy blackout because next thing you know Gaga is acting like a spiritual leader of sorts. She even allowed herself to be reborn…take that Jesus.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Gaga does great things as an activist, but the songs on Artpop still seem like just pop songs. I’m not the only one who is thinking this stuff. The reviews for Artpop aren’t exactly kneeling at her alter.

As everyone knows, I do enjoy a damn good pop song and Gaga does deliver in that regard. Case in point: Do What U Want feat. R. Kelly.

Lyrics I would like to comment on:

Lady Gaga: I feel good, I walk alone/But then I trip by myself and I fall/I, I stand up, and then I’m okay

Kari: Is this what inspiration feels like?

Lady Gaga: So do what you want/What you want with my body/Do what you want/Don’t stop, let’s party

Kari: Inappropriate for anyone under 18. For the over 18 crowd, this is a great opening line at the bar or other types of social gatherings.

R. Kelly: Do what I want/Do what I want with your body/Ya we taking these haters and we roughin’ ‘em up/And we laying a cut like we don’t give a fuck

Kari: I never realized until this moment that R. Kelly is the Maya Angelou of our time. Someone call Oprah!

After listening to this song on repeat pretty much all day, I have to say I’m glad Lady Gaga could convince Kells to exit the closet and drop some beats.

Some Good ‘Bangerz’


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At some point last week, Miley Cyrus release her new album, Bangerz, and Spotify suggested I give it a listen. While Spotify doesn’t always hit the nail on the head, I figured it was my duty as an American to give the album a spin.

Overall, I’m into it. Of course there are some songs I don’t like and don’t understand. For example 4×4, #GETITRIGHT, Love Money Party and My Darlin’. I won’t post these songs, you can Google them. But if you’ve heard them, you know what I’m talking about.

Ok, let’s get down to business. Here are my top 3 Miley Bangerz:

Someone Else

I know, I know, another breakup song. I’m saving up money to speak with a professional about my feelings. Feel free to donate to the cause.

Anywho, Someone Else, sounds like Miley was changing her ways for a gentleman. Ladies, haven’t we all felt this way? Well obviously she slammed on the breaks when she realized that was happening. #StrongerThanYesterday.


Jeez Liam, you must have really pissed Miley off.


This is my favorite banger on the whole album, besides Wrecking Ball of course. And yes, it’s another sad song about being alone. I really do need some type of counseling.

Miley, you did a great job of organizing these tracks. I felt like this album was the evolution of your love story with Liam Hemsworth. I could tell you really had it with his shit by track six. You go girl.

It’s Britney Bitch…Again

Many people’s favorite time of year falls around the holiday season or the beginnings of summer. My favorite time is neither of those…it’s when Britney Spears releases new music.

As you may have guessed, that day is RIGHT NOW!

Before you listen to Brit’s new jam, I would like to say a few words. If you haven’t visited in a while, the site has been displaying a countdown with the phrase All Eyes on Me. There has been much speculation as to what this countdown was counting towards. For a few days I thought it was for the Vegas tour announcement, but now I realize it’s for a NEW MUSIC VIDEO! If you can’t tell, I’m freaking out!

Here is what we have all been waiting for. It’s time to Work Bitch!

A few things I’ve learned/realized from this song:

  1. Britney loves using the word Bitch
  2. She must have some English roots, because Brit is really going British these days
  3. I need to start purchasing leotards to wear on casual friday

Lyrics to look out for: Go call the police / Go call the governor / I bring the trouble / That means the trouble y’all

Keep an eye out for Brit’s new music video. It will be revealed in 1 day, 11 hours, 56 minutes and  25 seconds. I mean 24 seconds. No wait 23 seconds. Jesus, you get the point.

If I was Ever Stranded in the Jungle…

I would want it to play out just like Katy Perry’s new music video for “Roar.” Haven’t seen it yet? Thank goodness I’m here to share it with you.

While watching this music video, I thought how great I would look in a leopard top, a skirt made out of leaves and a leather strap wrapped around my arm to show off my guns. I know I would look so good that I’m even considering wearing that exact ensemble for Causal Friday.

At first, I thought this music video was a little redic. After watching it three and a half times, I realized that Katy always gives us ladies such positive anthems (Remember “Firework” and “Part of Me“). Because of her lady anthems, it’s hard not to love her imitation of a tiger roaring loudly.

There are a few highlights to Katy’s new music video that I would like to share with you:

  • Katy teaches us how to make a spear with a high heel and a stick
  • She trains an elephant to be a portable shower…snaps for Katy
  • She also assists an alligator practice good hygiene by brushing his teeth
  • Katy enjoys taking selfies with a monkey. It’s amazing that Katy’s cell still works in the jungle. She must have a solar-powered charger.

Those are just a few of my favorite moments in the four-minute video. If you don’t have time to watch, I’ll tell you the ending…Katy becomes queen of the jungle. Get it girl.

P.S. Katy – Can you tell me how you hair looks so damn good in that jungle heat? Give a girl some tips!

Lady Singers…Part II

While I was listening to my first Lady Singer, Spotify suggested I would enjoy the musical stylings of the following lady. I gave her a chance and realized that this woman also speaks to me with her cool jams. Since it is my duty to share these types of things with my millions upon millions of fans, here you go.

Marina and the Diamonds

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At 27 years cool, Marina Lambrini Diamandis aka Marina and the Diamonds, was born in Wales and started to gain some recognition in 2005 when she hit number 2 on the BBC Sound of 2010 poll. Guess who was number 1 on that poll…Ellie Goulding. Sound familiar?

Marina has released two studio albums so far: The Family Jewels and Electra Heart.

If you haven’t heard of Marina and the Diamonds, let me introduce the two of you with a few facts about our new friend Marina.

  • “The Diamonds” part of her stage name does not refer to her band, but her fans
  • Marina has a neurological condition called synaesthetic, which involves her seeing the days of the week and musical notes in different colors
  • She loves businessmen…good choice

Here are a few of my favorite Marina and the Diamonds jams that I think you would enjoy as well:

“How to be a Heartbreaker”

I’ve been waiting 26 long years, but I’ve finally discovered the step-by-step rules on how to be a heartbreaker. Thanks Marina!


Any woman who has ever been scorned by a man will get this.


She does what she wants.

As you can see, Marina and The Diamonds has a wide range of emotions in her songs. She follows the typical path most women travel in regards to finding a husband. First, she’s cruising to be a heartbreaker but accidentally falls for a man, then she’s sad because the dude lied to her and finally becomes so jaded that she turns into a homewrecker. Yep, sounds about right.

Lady Singers…Part I

It seems I blipped off the radar these last few days – I apologize. You can blame my cat, she was sitting on my computer. See below:


Anywho, on this fine Sunday evening, I’d like to write about one of my favorite topics…lady singers. It’s true, I love pop divas, including Cher, Xtina and B. Spears – just to name a few. With this blog series, I’d like to share some new favorites of mine for us to enjoy together.

Lana Del Rey

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I hope you and your ears have had the pleasure of hearing Lana and her redic lyrics. If you haven’t, get ready to listen to a lady who says exactly what’s on her mind. For example, she sings about Pabst Blue Ribbon on ice, a dude’s python and drugs, lots of drugs.

Spoiler Alert: Lana Del Rey isn’t her real name, it’s Elizabeth Woolridge Grant and she’s 27 years young. Lana was discovered by uploading her songs to YouTube. Because of that, she got herself a real record deal! Her first single was “Video Games,” which was on her second studio album “Born to Die.”

While the critics have mixed feelings about Lana’s talent, more specifically a past appearance on SNL, I’m into her music – it speaks to me. Here are a few of my favorite Lana jams:

“National Anthem”

Lana channels Jackie O and A$AP Rocky takes on the role of JFK. Odd, but in an awesome way. Lyrics to listen up for: Um, do you think you’ll buy me lots of diamonds?

“Blue Jeans”

Lyrics to listen up for: Promise you’ll remember that you’re mine/Baby can you see through the tears/Love you more/Than those bitches before

“Off to the Races”

Lyrics to listen up for: Swimming pool glimmering darling/White bikini off with my red nail polish/Watch me in the swimming pool bright blue ripples you/Sitting sipping on your black Cristal

And the final reason as to why you should listen to Lana…she can teach you how to be a boss. See below:

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Lana – Thank you and keep it classy.


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