J.Lo Doesn’t Listen to You…You Listen to J.Lo

Photo Courtesy: missjojobie.com

Every once in a while I get on a certain musical artist kick.

During this kick, I basically listen to one artist over and over until my roommates can’t stand it anymore. Obviously, I don’t get sick of the music..hence the kick. This month I am on a J.Lo/Jenny from the block/Jennifer Lopez/Selena kick.

J.Lo has provided me, along with the world, great jams that have the ability to fill the void in a variety of occasions and moments.

Below I would like to highlight a few of my favorite J.Lo jams.

‘Waiting for Tonight’

Who hasn’t gotten up on a Friday morning and thought “God, I can’t wait for tonight.” I do this everyday…even on Mondays.

“Waiting for Tonight” is one of those songs that you play at the party, before the party. Whenever this song comes on, I automatically turn on my green laser strobe lights, whisper inappropriate phrases in Spanish, glue jewels over my whole body and dance my face off in a manner that would make J.Lo proud.

If you recall, “Waiting for Tonight” was release in 1999. Yes, that was before we called Jennifer J.Lo! Even though it’s over 10 years old, this song still entices people to anticipate tonight and try to dance like Jennifer…but fail miserably .

J.Lo – with “Waiting for Tonight” you officially earned my endorsement. Get it girl.

Stay tuned…there’s more J.Lo coming up…

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Dear *Fill in Celebrity Name Here*

I have recently thought that it would be a good idea to start sending actual letters to celebrities. I have many thoughts that need to be shared. Since stamp prices have gone through the roof, why not use this blog to get their attention and save some trees! Todays letter is dedicated to Marc Anthony.

Dear Marc Anthony,

Photo Courtesy: innthebasement.com

How are you? I am fine. I see that you are doing a tell-all interview with John Quinones airing September 1 on ABC. How big of a blackout do you think J.Lo is going to be in after it airs? I hope you got enough cash money from ABC in order to buy a really big bodyguard. I can’t see you doing well in a fight against your ex-lady; she is from da Bronx after all.

I always thought you were J.Lo’s soul mate; it certainly wasn’t that backup dancer guy. Oh yea, and you left your previous wife for Jennifer…remember? If that doesn’t say love, I don’t know what does.

After 7 years together and twin babies, you guys were headed for a beautiful retirement home, shuffleboard and bingo. What happened? I heard a few rumblings that you may have cheated on our precious Jennifer. Marc – she is like Santa, she knows all. You accidently leave one of the babies at the grocery store – she knows, you stay up late to watch reruns of the Kardashians  – she knows, you cheat – she knows.

I watched the teaser for your interview and I’m slightly upset that you may be throwing Jenny from Da Block under the bus. You say you didn’t cheat on her, that “It was a realization on both our parts. So you know it wasn’t shocking. These things happen. It was a decision that we made jointly.” Wasn’t shocking? I was so shocked that I bruised my tailbone from falling out the chair I was in.

I have another bone to pick with you. What’s the deal with Jada Pinkett Smith? You know that part in her name that says “Smith?” That’s Jada’s

Photo Courtesy: technorati.com

married name! Did you know that “Life & Style” is saying, “Marc said Jada was so sexy because she was in great shape and had this tough attitude, which he loves.” First of all, J.Lo is in killer shape…maybe you should take off those creepy sunglasses you always wear and open. your. eyes!

Marc – I do have to say that I don’t completely hate you. I really liked the song you did with Pitbull titled, “Rain Over Me.” My favises part of the video is when you two gentlemen are dancing in the desert together.

I just want to let you know that I will be tuning in and critiquing every second of your tell-all interview. For the record, I am on team J.Lo.

Love always,

Kari

P.S. You don’t divorce J.Lo…J.Lo divorces you.


Jenny Going Back to the Block?

Photo Courtesy youfrenzy.com

Yes, the rumors are true; J.Lo and Marc Anthony are getting the big D (divorce). After seven glorious years, which included twin babies, the highly acclaimed film “El Cantante” and a duet that I don’t understand one word of – this power couple is no longer.

Let’s take it back to a time where J.Lo was just exiting one of her more popular romances known as “Bennifer.” Once her and Ben Affleck finally noticed that it was just plain awkward that they were an item and decided to end it, J.Lo wasted no time. A little less than two months after her split from Ben, J.Lo was seen with Marc Anthony! (gasp)

As for Marc’s side in this, let’s remember he was a married man. Marc and his wife at the time, Dayanara Torres decided to separate in 2003. Marc and  Torres were officially divorced in June 2004. Marc and J.Lo were married just four days later. Homewrecker anyone?

Even after kissing and practically marrying all those damn frogs, I was sure that J.Lo had finally found her prince charming. Welp, the world has been blindsided once again. We the people have found out that J.Lo and her man are separating.

A joint statement released by the couple stated:

“We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters. It is a painful time for all involved, and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time.”

J.Lo, I still can’t forget you and Ja Rule singing that song “I’m Real.” Maybe you could be real with Ja Rule? I’m not sure if he’s in jail, but I’m sure you could work around that. Team J.Lo 4ever


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