Slapped with the obvious stick

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Ever since her split with husband number one, Kim Kardashian has decided to stay mum on any potential/budding relationships.

While this sounds like a good philosophy to live by, Kim K isn’t doing so well at keeping her private life…private.

As you know, Kim has been seen prancing all over NYC with rapper Kanye West. Obviously rumors have been swirling that these two are a couple. Kim and Kanye have given us a variety of reasons for that conclusion:

  • The pair has had multiple slumber parties that end with Kim doing the walk of shame the next morning
  • Kanye laid out his feelings for the reality TV star/business woman on a new track titled, “Thera flu” where he states, “And I’ll admit, I fell in love with Kim/‘Round the same time she had fell in love wit’ him/Well, that’s cool, baby girl, do ya thing/Lucky I ain’t have Jay drop ‘im from the team”
  • This past weekend West had dinner with the overwhelmingly large Kardashian family

While all that stuff can be deemed innocent, Kim really did a number today. She was spotted wearing earrings that contain the initials KW. I wonder who/what that could mean?

It seems that Kim isn’t really good at keeping Kanye a secret. But really, could anyone actually tame Kanye?

Wishes and Dreams for the New Year

With the New Year starting today, I thought it would be fun to share my wishes and dreams that I have for my favise celebrities in 2012.

If I happen to predict something right, I hope that I will receive a very big check and/or a sweet office job from People Magazine or TMZ, either one will do.

Kim Kardashian will find her Prince Charming

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I don’t know if you heard, but Kim Kardashian wed New Jersey Nets player Kris Humphries on Aug. 20, 2011. 72 days later, Kim K filed for divorce…sad face. There has been much speculation that this wedding was a PR move, it was a TV marriage, Kim did it for the publicity, etc.

After thinking about this for quite some time, I have made a decision…decision made. I think Kim married Kris because she thought he was “the one.” Let’s be real, if Humphries talked to me for longer than a minute, I would have thought he was “the one” too. And in that minute time span, I would’ve climb him like a tree.

Anywho, I’ve been watching the Kardashian’s reality show from the very beginning and Kim has been saying for years that she just wants to find her husband, be married and have kids. I feel her pain…don’t we all want to find our lid?

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I better explain that reference. Have you ever said something to the effect of “Wow, I can’t believe she/he is married?” I know I have and in response to that my mom has always said, “Kari, there is a lid for every pot.” So wise and true.

My hope for this year is that Kim finds her the pot to her lid and lives happily ever after…while E! catches all of the happiness on film of course! If the Kardashians go off the air, what will I do on Sunday nights? I don’t need another free night to drink gin…Friday and Saturday usually take care of that habit.

Kim – I think Reggie is still available…hint, hint. P.S. did you know he was traded to the Miami Dolphins?! Still can’t believe that one.

Stay tuned for more of my wishes and dreams for 2012!

Special Report: Kar-Hump no more

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Well I can’t say I’m surprised, but I am a little sad for Kim. If you have been slumbering under a rock all day, I’ll remind you what the hell has been going on.

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are donezo. After 72 days of being husband and wife…Kim has filed for divorce. o0o0o burn.

Rumors turned to fact when Kim released a statement regarding her soon-to-be ex-husband:

“After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage,” she said. “I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best.”

What is interesting about this scenario is the fact Kris doesn’t want to remove his claws from Kim K. Mr. Humpy released a statement exclaiming, “I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce.” “I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents,” he added. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.”

I can see why Kris is “willing to do whatever it take.” My Humpy’s estimated worth is $8 million, while his wifey is worth an estimated $35 million. Dum, dum, dummmm.

I wonder what the final straw was for Kim. Was it the fact the Kris still wanted his dogs to sleep in bed with him and Kim?

Kim – if all else fails…sic Khloe on Humpy. She will have no problem beating his ass.

Side note: I wonder what Scott thinks of all this? Hopefully he is laughing his pants off.

Entertainers I want to sing my wedding song

Like 86.9% of people on this planet, I tuned my television to E! and watched the Mr. & Mrs. Kim Kardashian wedding special…without blinking of course. I loved all 7 hours or however long it was.

Seeing Robin Thicke belt out Kris & Kim’s first dance song got me thinking about the entertainers I would like to perform at my wedding…one day…far, far away…

Usher & Alicia Keys – ‘My Boo’

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I’ll admit it; I started using the word “boo” when I heard this jam back in 2004. That is after I figured out what the word “boo” actually meant. For those that don’t know, “boo” can mean the following:

  • Boyfriend or girlfriend
  • Pet name: your hunny, sweety, baby
  • An affectionate name for someone you love

A big thanks to, without this website I would have never reached this level of hood.

Usher describes “My Boo” as a “talk about how they used to be in love and how those feelings are still lingering despite the two not being involved anymore.”

Favise lyrics: “I don’t know bout you all/But I know about us and uh/It’s the only way/We know how to rock.”

Why I would want these entertainers at my wedding? So my single girlfriends could get with Usher! Oh yea and I could really get my groove on to this jam.

Stay tuned, I have two more wedding jams I’m adding throughout the day!

Hey! Where was my invite?

With the upcoming Kardashian-Humphries nuptials on the horizon, it got me thinking about all the celebrity wedding invitations that were apparently lost in the mail. Here is my list of invitations that I wish the postal service didn’t lose (because I’m 100% sure I was invited).

Khloe Kardashian & Lamar Odom

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September 27th has become a national holiday in my home. It is the day that my favises Kardashian sister got hitched (whoop, whoop) after only a month of dating! Dreams do come true. The world thought that Kim was going to be the first to get married and we all know how badly she wanted some man, any man to put a ring on it.

While it wasn’t looking good for Kim, the spotlight fell on older sis Kourtney. From what we have seen on “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” I sure hope Kourtney doesn’t tie that knot. I will even go as far as hoofing it to the nearest church and lighting a candle for her. So the point goes to Khloe! Since E! documents every sneeze that the K-Dash sisters emit, we had to expect a Khloe & Lamar wedding special…a 2-hour special as a matter of fact.

Why I’m angry my invite was lost in the mail:

  • All of the Kardashians were in the same area – including Rob. <3
  • A bunch of other celebs were in attendance, including Chelsea Handler, Kobe Bryant and Kelly Osbourne. I could have done some serious networking.
  • There was a Hollywood nightclub-theme reception that Babyface sang at!

Mr. & Mrs. Hova

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April 4, 2008 – the union to end all unions occurred. After 6 years of being bf & gf, Jay-Z liked it and finally put a ring on it! With about 40 guests in attendance, this was one event that I wish I knew about. I only needed a two hour notice, the ceremony was a stones throw away in New York!

I should have seen the clues. The day of the wedding there was a tent erected on the roof of Jay-Z’s penthouse, around 60,000 orchid blooms were delivered and DJ Cassidy even spilled some of the beans. According to, “Cassidy mentioned a week ago that he was really excited for Jay Z and Beyoncé’s wedding party to happen, said another source.” Dammit.

Why I’m angry my invite was lost in the mail:

  • All three Destiny’s Child members were in attendance. I bet they sang “Independent Women Part I.” Side note, I’m still waiting for my acceptance letter to Charlie’s Angels Boot Camp.
  • I could have made the Hova symbol all evening without being judged or kicked out.
  • It’s always a wonderful site when Jay-Z straps on a tux.

Britney Spears & Jason Alexander

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Let’s be real, I had to include it! While I felt that many believed that this was the start of her downward spiral, I will have to disagree. I am convinced the spiral began when B. Spears and he who shall not be named broke up (hint…lead singer of boy band ‘N Sync). But that is neither here, nor there.

Anywho, January 3, 2004 the Little White Wedding Chapel on the Vegas Strip received a gift from above. Britney Spears and childhood friend, Jason Alexander busted in and got hitched. Don’t worry, the newlyweds scooped up a marriage license at the Clark County Marriage Bureau for $55.

Dear Jamie Spears, since you weren’t available to walk Brit down the aisle, a hotel bellman hopped in your place. No big deal. Britney’s wedding attire included a classy baseball hat, belly shirt and jeans. After the ceremony, a night full of sin ensued. Sadly, 55 hours later the marriage was annulled…boo.

Why I’m angry my invite was lost in the mail:

  • Who in their right mind wouldn’t want to have witnessed this?
  • The wedding cost a grand total of $200, which included photos, a bouquet and video. That’s a steal compared the what K-Fed cost her.
  • The marriage took place at 5:30 a.m. That’s the best part of a night on the town!

Britney – I would have given my left arm to have been present at this wedding. Next time, call me girl. I know you have my digits, I’ve sent them to you a handful of times.


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