Topless Thursday

In the spirit of mixing things up, I would like to deem this Thursday a Topless Thursday!

Scott Disick

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When we first met Scott on the early seasons of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” he was Kourtney’s boyfriend that everyone loved to hate. At the beginning, I was certainly a passenger on the I hate Scott train. But after all these years I have come to absolutely LOVE Scott.

While I believe Mr. Kourtney Kardashian is a handsome gentleman, he also offers up hilarious commentary during every and all occasions.

For example:

  • $3000 for a walking stick…sounds reasonable
  • Now that’s a gentleman’s photo, I’ve got my son, a nice tan, birds and my hair is flowing in the wind like flocks of Capistrano
  • This night really went from first class to coach

Scott Disick hatched May 26, 1983 in Eastport N.Y. He has a brother named David whose occupation is photographer. Scott attended the Ross School, which is a private school (obviously) in New York. That’s all I really know about his background. Disick is a man of mystery.

Side note: Does anyone really know what Scott does for a living? I decided to check his Wikipedia page and one of the occupations listed is man of conspicuous leisure. Like a boss.

Scott began dating Kourtney in 2007 and the pair has had a rocky past. In 2009, Kourtney and Scott’s son Mason Dash Disick was born and things seemed to take a turn for the better. But Khloe, Scott and Kourtney have made it well-known that Scott does not sleep in the same bed as his lady…Mason does. Since it’s not my place to judge, I will say…whatever floats thy boat.

In lieu of having any more hot gossip about Scott, I will just post a topless picture.

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Slapped with the obvious stick

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Ever since her split with husband number one, Kim Kardashian has decided to stay mum on any potential/budding relationships.

While this sounds like a good philosophy to live by, Kim K isn’t doing so well at keeping her private life…private.

As you know, Kim has been seen prancing all over NYC with rapper Kanye West. Obviously rumors have been swirling that these two are a couple. Kim and Kanye have given us a variety of reasons for that conclusion:

  • The pair has had multiple slumber parties that end with Kim doing the walk of shame the next morning
  • Kanye laid out his feelings for the reality TV star/business woman on a new track titled, “Thera flu” where he states, “And I’ll admit, I fell in love with Kim/‘Round the same time she had fell in love wit’ him/Well, that’s cool, baby girl, do ya thing/Lucky I ain’t have Jay drop ‘im from the team”
  • This past weekend West had dinner with the overwhelmingly large Kardashian family

While all that stuff can be deemed innocent, Kim really did a number today. She was spotted wearing earrings that contain the initials KW. I wonder who/what that could mean?

It seems that Kim isn’t really good at keeping Kanye a secret. But really, could anyone actually tame Kanye?

Wishes and Dreams for the New Year

With the New Year starting today, I thought it would be fun to share my wishes and dreams that I have for my favise celebrities in 2012.

If I happen to predict something right, I hope that I will receive a very big check and/or a sweet office job from People Magazine or TMZ, either one will do.

Kim Kardashian will find her Prince Charming

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I don’t know if you heard, but Kim Kardashian wed New Jersey Nets player Kris Humphries on Aug. 20, 2011. 72 days later, Kim K filed for divorce…sad face. There has been much speculation that this wedding was a PR move, it was a TV marriage, Kim did it for the publicity, etc.

After thinking about this for quite some time, I have made a decision…decision made. I think Kim married Kris because she thought he was “the one.” Let’s be real, if Humphries talked to me for longer than a minute, I would have thought he was “the one” too. And in that minute time span, I would’ve climb him like a tree.

Anywho, I’ve been watching the Kardashian’s reality show from the very beginning and Kim has been saying for years that she just wants to find her husband, be married and have kids. I feel her pain…don’t we all want to find our lid?

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I better explain that reference. Have you ever said something to the effect of “Wow, I can’t believe she/he is married?” I know I have and in response to that my mom has always said, “Kari, there is a lid for every pot.” So wise and true.

My hope for this year is that Kim finds her the pot to her lid and lives happily ever after…while E! catches all of the happiness on film of course! If the Kardashians go off the air, what will I do on Sunday nights? I don’t need another free night to drink gin…Friday and Saturday usually take care of that habit.

Kim – I think Reggie is still available…hint, hint. P.S. did you know he was traded to the Miami Dolphins?! Still can’t believe that one.

Stay tuned for more of my wishes and dreams for 2012!

Celebrities I Wish had a Reality Show…part II

The E! network is running ads for a “Seasons-So-Far” marathon. It’s purpose…to catch me up with the Kardashians…obvi. Because E! never, ever airs repeats of “Kourtney & Kim Take New York,” I’m grateful to the executives at E! for giving me this Xmas miracle.

As you all know, I am destined to work for E!, so why not start giving them a few of my reality show suggestions now. Here is my second pick for Celebrities I Wish had a Reality Show.

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise (TomKat)

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A show of hands please…who wouldn’t want to catch a glimpse into the world of TomKat? My suspicions were correct…everyone wants to know what goes inside the castle of Tom and Katie.

In their home, I imagine a lot of weird strobe lights and L. Ron Hubbard reading the book of Dianetics to Suri…because Tom resurrected him from the dead…duh.

I already know this couple would be great TV. They have already given us so many amazing moments so far. For example, remember when Tom told Matt Lauer he was glib and jumped on Oprah’s couch? Okay:

  1. No one has forgotten.
  2. I love Katie Holmes too, but I’m not jumping on couches during the Oprah show. I do it in the privacy of my own home!

Now, we have all heard the rumors that Katie isn’t eating because she’s depressed, Tom is an out-of-control Scientologist who forced Katie into the cult, Tom is gay, etc. etc. It’s a very long list of rumors (or truths) and the only way to find out what’s real is by bringing in a camera crew!

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I envision the reality show being called “TomKat: Welcome to the Jungle” and it would have to air on E! so there could be a crossover episode with the Kardashians. Mason and Suri could have a playdate while Khloe beats the daylights out of Tom and Rob takes Katie out and shows her a good time.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t think the TomKat union was going to last this long. I was onboard the U.S.S TomKat because it was supposed to give Katie the boost she needed to gain Oscar glory. Since that has not happened, I am over and done with the relationship…but I would watch the reality show and I would become a Scientologist if they gave me one of those rubbery bracelet thingys.

Katie – Happy belated birthday! I have loved you pre-Tom and I will love you post-Tom. Get it girl.

If a Genie Granted Me 3 Wishes…part II

Before I reveal the next person I would wish to spend an entire day with, I want to make an announcement to my spiritual goddess and my favise actress.

Dear Britney Spears and Katie Holmes…Obviously if I was given a few wishes to spend the day with any celebrities I would certainly pick you fine ladies. Since I’m trying to expand my horizons on my blog, I have decided to branch out. Don’t hate me. Truly yours…now and forever. -Kari

Now that I got that off my chest, let’s get down to business.

Scott Disick

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I do have to admit that I wasn’t a fan of Scott on the earlier seasons of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” I always thought he was trying to freeload off Kourtney and ruin lives. It wasn’t until this past season of the hit reality show that I really started enjoying Scott and his humor.

Scott has always been the one that Mama Kris and the rest of the K-Dash family picked on…no wonder he drank like a fish. Scott really had some epic moments that were caught on tape…remember the time he shoved the money in the waiters mouth in Vegas or when he punched the mirror in Miami? Those scenes are burned into my brain.

The Miami drunken black out was the last straw for Kourtney and the rest of the fam. Scott realized that he needed to get his shit together for two major reasons: Mason and his baby mama, Kourtney.

After sobering up and going to therapy, Scott has creeped his way back into the good graces of Kourtney…which means the rest of the Kardashians have to put up with him. In all honestly, I wouldn’t mind having Scott around. He is the best. dresser. ever and says some pretty hil.ari.ous things.

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Some of my favise Scott quotes:

    • Kourtney: And it says I might be pregnant. Scott: There’s a might symbol?
    • Kris: Scott? It’s Kris. Scott: Hi. I know. I have caller ID.
    • Scott: Now thats a gentleman’s photo, i’ve got my son, a nice tan, birds, and my hairs flowing in the wind like flocks of capestrauna.
    • Scott: Hey Humpy.


My favorite Scott moment had to be when the gang travelled to Bora Bora. Bruce and Scott were discussing the tankers floating in the ocean and Kris replies, “Did you just call me a tanker?” Now that was great TV!

Why would I wish to hang out with Scott?

While Mason’s baby daddy can be mean at times, I feel like he would be a blast in a glass to hang out with for a day. We could cruise around in a fancy car, talk about Kris Jenner and maybe meet up with Rob <3.
All I can hope for is that Scott will get me my very own walking cane…”stick me.”


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