If I was Ever Stranded in the Jungle…

I would want it to play out just like Katy Perry’s new music video for “Roar.” Haven’t seen it yet? Thank goodness I’m here to share it with you.

While watching this music video, I thought how great I would look in a leopard top, a skirt made out of leaves and a leather strap wrapped around my arm to show off my guns. I know I would look so good that I’m even considering wearing that exact ensemble for Causal Friday.

At first, I thought this music video was a little redic. After watching it three and a half times, I realized that Katy always gives us ladies such positive anthems (Remember “Firework” and “Part of Me“). Because of her lady anthems, it’s hard not to love her imitation of a tiger roaring loudly.

There are a few highlights to Katy’s new music video that I would like to share with you:

  • Katy teaches us how to make a spear with a high heel and a stick
  • She trains an elephant to be a portable shower…snaps for Katy
  • She also assists an alligator practice good hygiene by brushing his teeth
  • Katy enjoys taking selfies with a monkey. It’s amazing that Katy’s cell still works in the jungle. She must have a solar-powered charger.

Those are just a few of my favorite moments in the four-minute video. If you don’t have time to watch, I’ll tell you the ending…Katy becomes queen of the jungle. Get it girl.

P.S. Katy – Can you tell me how you hair looks so damn good in that jungle heat? Give a girl some tips!

Singles Dropping Left and Right

Photo Courtesy: www.popdust.com

Photo Courtesy: http://www.popdust.com

I’m sure you’ve heard, but two pop ladies released some new jams today. Katy Perry released “Roar” and Lady Gaga released “Applause.”

I have to say, I’m not super impressed with either of them…I’ve heard better from these two. When I really started thinking about how I’m not in love with either of these songs, a scary thought entered my mind…am I too old for pop music?!!? Dear God, I hope not. What will I listen to? And don’t you dare say country music.

You take a listen to both songs and let me know your thoughts. First up is “Roar” by Katy Perry.

Next up, Lady Gaga’s “Applause.”

Let’s be real, once these songs hit the radio and I hear them approximately sixty times within the next three months, they will get stuck in my head and I’ll be changing my negative tune.

That literally happened to me with Miley’s new song, “We Can’t Stop,” about four hours ago. When I first heard “We Can’t Stop,” all I felt was longing for the “Can’t Be Tamed” days. Now, I’m into the new Cyrus single and I’m wondering how long it will take me to twerk like that.

Honestly, is “Roar” and “Applause” as good as “E.T.” and “Bad Romance” were? Because they were God damn great! As Hilary Duff once said, “let’s go back, back to the beginning” and bring back those cool jams!

Topless Tuesday

Yes. It is time for everyone’s favorite day of the week. It’s Topless Tuesday!

Anderson Davis

Don’t recognize the name? Don’t worry, I didn’t either. But this man goes by another name…”The Zesty Guy.” Yes, you’ve all seen the Kraft commercials and print ads advertising the Zesty Italian dressing and my goodness…what great ads they are.

The Zesty Guy has a real name and it’s Anderson Davis. Anderson was born and raised in Northern California and has a love for sports. His love for sports led him to a deal with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays…that’s a baseball team btw. Sadly, Anderson’s baseball dreams were cut short because of an injury. Honestly, I’m glad they did, because look at what gift God has given us!

Anderson has had other jobs besides embodying Kraft’s Italian Dressing. He has appeared on some soaps, CSI and models. I did find out that he appeared in a Katy Perry music video! Anderson plays the other dude that Katy Perry doesn’t love because she still loves her previous boyfriend that died in the war. Get it, Katy.

Anywho, Anderson has caused some controversy with his zesty ads. A Christian group is outraged because he is shirtless and almost in his full birthday suit in the ads. What’s the big deal? I’ve seen racier.

If you want to get in contact with the Zesty Guy…he has a Twitter! Check him out @TheZestyGuy. You can also create a ZestyGram. It’s basically a personalized Ecard to send to your friends. I know what I’ll be doing tomorrow!

Anderson, thank you and stay zesty.

Non-Demeaning to Women Wednesday

Katy Perry has officially released her video for “Part of Me.” While I’m still on the fence about whether or not I love the video interpretation of the song, I can’t deny that it’s empowering to women.

Katy – After seeing this video, I’m pretty sure no one will mess with you…ever.

I’m on a boat…with a celebrity and a life vest…part II

It’s time to strap on your life vest once again…I’m about to reveal the second celebrity that I would like to accompany me on a cruise.

Katy Perry

Photo Courtesy: thesun.co.uk

There is one thing I know about Katy Perry…she loves a good theme and always dresses for the occasion. Show of hands…who would like to see a week’s worth of Katy’s sailor attire? I know I do.

The list of people who don’t like Katy Perry is very small. I think the reason for that is she’s always full of pep, has a positive attitude and likes to party.

Even going through a divorce, she was still smiling. No really, Katy added a smiley face next to her signature on the divorce papers. o0o0o burn.

The Part of Me” singer must have learned the oh-so-important lesson brought to you by Xtina Aguilera…when it comes to men, they can’t hold us down.

Anywho, I picture Katy bopping around the cruise deck meeting and greeting fans during the day and performing her mega-hits at night.

I recently read that Katy is finally collaborating with her bff Rihana. Hopefully Rihanna can helicopter in and perform with Katy while we are cruising the ocean blue. If not, I’m sure Snoop Dog will be on board to sing his notable verse in “California Gurls“…he can’t be that busy.

Or if we are really lucky, Kanye “I’mma let you finish” West will swim out to the boat in order to perform his verse in “E.T.

Hey, a girl can dream. See you on board!

Let’s Recap the Grammys

Okay, I was wrong about a few of the winners, but I was right about Adele! Hopefully these correct predictions will earn me some street cred. Anywho, here are my most memorable/WTF moments of the 54th annual Grammy awards.

5. Nicki Minaj’s ensemble

Photo Courtesy: glamour.com

While I always appreciate a good religious tribute…and by religious tribute, I mean something similar to “Like a Prayer,” However, I was a little confused as to what Minaj was trying to do. Was this even Nicki or was it her alter-ego Roman?

Minaj called into Ryan Seacrest’s radio show today to explain. “Well, [that religious character I walked the carpet with] is a major part of the story and the movie that I’m writing about one of my alter egos; his name is Roman,” she said.

“Basically, the religious figure is there because he was called on by Roman’s mom [Martha] to rehabilitate him.”

I have a few questions. Was that a real bishop? If so, when will the church be excommunicating him? Can I have an alter ego and commit crimes? Will my alter ego go to jail or will we both go?

If you missed Minaj’s performance, check it out here!

4. Chris Brown continues to ruin lives

Photo Courtesy: billboard.com

I’m not happy about this one bit. Who approved not one, but two musical numbers staring the spokesperson for domestic violence Chris Brown?

Along with that, who voted in favor of the spokesperson for domestic violence Chris Brown getting the Grammy for Best R & B album?

This was probably the worst part of the Grammys. I wish Jay-Z was there to beat his ass. No one hurts Rihanna…she’s a national treasure!

3. Katy Perry does a solid for the bitter ladies

Photo Courtesy: peoplestylewatch.com

As we all know, Katy Perry is going through a divorce. Since us ladies have to stick together, I support Katy in whatever she does…even the blue hair ugh.

Anywho, Katy performed “E.T.” and a new jam titled “Part of Me” while wearing a futuristic latex jumpsuit. Many are saying that “Part of Me” is a huge dig at her ex, Russell Brand.

Here are some lyrics that can help you decide:

“So you can keep the diamond ring/It don’t mean nothing anyway/In fact you can keep everything yeah yeah/Except for me”

Two things: I think Kelly Clarkson may have some competition and o0o0o0oo burn!

2. J Hud’s tribute to Whitney Houston

Photo Courtesy: nme.com

At first I was hoping for Mariah, Beyonce or even Xtina to be tasked with singing the Whitney Houston tribute.

When I found out it was Jennifer Hudson, I was less than pumped. But I stand corrected. After watching the performance, I was pleasantly surprised at how well J Hud did.

So I must say something…Dear J Hud, I’m sorry for doubting you. Love, Kari.

I thought the performance was simple and classy…just they way it should have been. I also have to give it up to J Hud for preparing so quickly.

1. Adele

Photo Courtesy: nme.com

Obviously the leading lady of the evening was the “Rolling in the Deep” singer. She swept the Grammys winning a total of six awards and delivered an outstanding performance. How pissed do you think her ex-boyfriend is?

Entertainers I want to sing my wedding song…part III

Katy Perry – ‘Teenage Dream’

Photo Courtesy: justjared.buzznet.com

When Katy Perry opens her mouth…gold comes out. “Teenage Dream” peaked at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, Pop Songs, Adult Pop Songs and Hot Dance Club Songs. See, I don’t lie.

Besides being an unforgettable affair, having Katy at my wedding would give me the right to say, “Remember when Katy Perry entertained at my wedding?” I would make it a point to utter that statement every single day.

I chose “Teenage Dream” because it gives us single ladies hope that you can love a dude forever. I mean look at Brad and Jennifer…everyone thought that was forever…thanks for putting us through hell, Angelina.

This jam also really shed light on the skintight jeans and how I need to get my ass on the treadmill and into a pair of these pants.

Favise lyrics: “Now every February/You’ll be my Valentine, Valentine.”

Watch the music video…if I ever saw the man that stars alongside Katy walking on the street, I’d probably walk into a parking meter or into traffic.


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