The 5 Stages of a Breakup: Justin Timerberlake

Photo Courtesy: entertainment.ca.msn.com

Photo Courtesy: entertainment.ca.msn.com

There aren’t many topics that make me want to enter a heated debate, but I will argue with anyone on this planet about how Justin Timberlake still loves Britney Spears. Let’s be real, when you wear matching jean outfits in public, that’s eternal love.

If you listen to Justin’s new and old jams, you can clearly hear that he’s not over Britney. I am about to lay out the 5 stages of a breakup and show you in musical form how JT is still coping.

Please note: Some songs may not be in order of release. Everyone deals with grief differently, you know?

1. DenialWhat Goes Around…Comes Around was released around the same time that Britney was splitting up with K-Fed. Coincidence? I think not. I put this jam in the denial slot because even though Brit and JT broke up in 2002, he is still in denial about the fact that she cheated on him. It was a poor choice on her part, but she did apologize.

Justin sings Don’t want to think about it / Don’t want to talk about it / I’m just so sick about it / Can’t believe it’s ending this way. Poor guy.

2. Anger – Ok, we get it…Britney got with another dude, but did you have to find a girl who looks extremely similar to your ex for your music video? You get this one for free, Timberlake.

3. Bargaining – Cheating was a deal breaker for JT and he has definitely held his ground on that front. I give Brit the blame here, she should’ve picked honesty, then she may not have blown it. Please refer to song in stage 2.

4. Depression – Remember when Justin went on a musical hiatus from 2007 until 2012 to focus on his “acting?” He was actually in a dark room covered in Britney posters while drinking heavily. He wrote a song called Drink You Away where he states “I can’t drink you away.” Neither could Britney, boo.

5. Acceptance – Let’s be real, there is no acceptance where Britney is concerned. That flame will never burn out. Since my brain and heart cannot fathom that idea that Mirrors is about Jessica Biel, I will award Britney the point.

As you can see, I clearly have too much time on my hands. #TeamBritney

About these ads

Topless Tuesday 2.0

foxyreign.com

Hi friends, it’s your favorite professor/Ph.D. student and pop culture junkie. Kari (an awesome roommate for the record) is currently working on her finals project, so I’m taking on the Topless Tuesday responsibilities today.

So let’s get down to it.

Justin Timberlake

When it comes to my personal ‘90s love, no one knows my love like JT. He was always hot, and the rest of *Nsync was just playing backup to his talents.

As he now ponders his engagement to fellow 90s star Jessica Biel (everyone together now… ugh), let’s look back at some of his better moments… like when he’s wearing no shirt.

So lets just let the pics speak for themselves…

Courtesy of big-fashionista.blogspot.com.

Miss Biel, you are one lucky lady, don’t mess it up (because I’m waiting for him to be back on the market again)!


Remember When…

Photo Courtesy: snarkfood.com

I guess it’s about time I address the Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel engagement. Yes, it’s true…Justin’s grandma spilled the beans. Let me first say that I am not happy about this for a few reasons:

  1. I’m not a fan of Jessica Biel and her workout regimen. I mean what woman could look that jacked. She could snap Timberlake in half.
  2. Justin didn’t write any songs for her. All of his angry songs are for Britney and that one about marriage was for Cameron Diaz!
  3. They broke up and reunited…doesn’t seem legit to me.
  4. Justin has now been spotted with a full beard. He’s already letting himself go.
  5. Jessica Biel is not Britney. Sorry Jessica but I don’t recall you and Justin wearing matching denim outfits to an award show.

Okay, that’s more than a few. It seems I am more upset about this than I thought. Since I am forced to live with this news, (in the words of Hilary Duff) let’s go back, back to the beginning.

Remember When…Jessica Biel was the daughter of a pastor?

Photo Courtesy: buddytv.com

Back when I was a teenager, The WB network was where it was at. They had so many good shows including: “Dawson’s Creek” (the best), “Roswell,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “7th Heaven” (blah).

Of course, the one show that Jessica Biel is known for, I disliked the most. I mean who wanted to see kids make bad decisions and then have a religious/family moment at the end? Not real life.

If you didn’t watch “7th Heaven,” I’ll give you a little summary:

Reverend Camden is a Protestant minister who is super serious about doing good and being good. Reverend Camden and his wife Annie have seven children! The show follows the family through all their ups and downs for 10 seasons. Jessica Biel played Mary Camden…the bad seed.

Obviously being on “7th Heaven” gave all the characters a good, wholesome image. Jessica Biel got sick of this and decided to pose partially nude for Gear magazine at the age of 17. This didn’t go over well with the producers and Jessica was written off the show…fail.

Photo Courtesy: dailycaller.com

According to Wikipedia: “During season five, her character goes through a rebellious phase, and this storyline was used to write Biel out of the show, sending Mary to her grandparents’ house in Buffalo for some tough love to counter her rebellious behavior. During season six, Mary returned home, but the differences between Biel and the producers led to Mary leaving home full-time and becoming a flight attendant.”

In the end, getting kicked off “7th Heaven” wasn’t a completely bad idea. I mean she did land Timberlake and has starred in some pretty big movies. For example, “The A-Team” and “Valentine’s Day.” Lesson: posing partially nude can bring you good things.

Jessica – Isn’t it funny that Britney Spears just got engaged…think about that one.


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 215 other followers