Snooki was drunk all the time
So I’ll say it…I’m not entirely happy that Snooki is with child. I’m sorry, but I can’t hide my feelings any longer. I spent a majority of last weekend watching the “Jersey Shore” marathon on the TV and appreciated the fact that Snooki would drink until she fell over. It’s harder than you think…it’s a full-time job. During these benders, Snooki taught me how to Snook for love for goodness sakes! I think I’m crying.
Even though Snooki is engaged to Jionni and the happy couple is expecting a baby…I wanted to share some of my favise Snooki moments and reminisce on the good times.
Remember when Snooki couldn’t find the beach?
Remember when Snooki and Deena were cruising in Italy and Snooki slammed into a police car?
Remember when MTV constructed a life-sized hamster ball and plopped Snooki inside? What a way to ring in 2011.
Typically, I would address Snooki with a sassy comment at this point, but I can’t sass a pregnant woman…I do have some morals. So this one goes out to Deena. Girl if you need someone to hit up the bar or club with you…I’m available day or night.
Boy oh boy or should I say boy or girl?
This week is filled with a lot of baby news and the rumor mill is running on high with reports that Snooki is pregnant. Like me, you might need a moment or seven to digest that.
Snooki, 24 is allegedly three to four months pregnant…the father is Jionni LaValle, Snooki’s current bf who makes the occasional cameo on the “Jersey Shore.”
Mama Snooks is said to be shopping her pregnancy story around to all the mags. Rumor has it Us Weekly picked up the story and if it’s true…we’ll be seeing Snooks, the woman with a constant blood alcohol level, on the cover in the classic pregnancy pose.
Snooki hasn’t commented on this vital matter…neither has her rep.
What an interesting turn of events Snooki and JWoww’s spinoff show “Snooki and JWoww vs. The World” could take if this news is true. Instead of shopping for booze, they could be shopping for baby things…ugh.
Ahoy Matey! Grab your life vests…we are going on a celebrity-themed cruise!
I was inspired to write this post because I recently saw that one of America’s national treasures is hosting a cruise. This cruise sets sail from New Jersey and docks in the Bahamas.
The national treasure I’m referring to is named Deena and she is one of those crazy kids on the “Jersey Shore.” Since Deena is a self-proclaimed “blast in a glass,” I obviously need to be on this vessel. Let’s be real…this is a once and a lifetime opportunity. I can already picture Deena and I singing “I’m on a Boat” by The Lonely Island and screaming all those classic lines from “Titanic.”
Anywho, despite the fact that I cannot swim, I do like to dream about what celebrity I would hop on board a floating death trap for. If you’ve seen “Titanic” you understand where my fear stems from.
The Mob Wives
Guilty as charged! Yes, I watch this show and I love it…a lot. It even made the Sunday TV schedule at my apartment…and that is a hard list to get on to. The show is basically about six women who have ties to the mob and like to scream about anything that blows their way.
These classy ladies also like the beat the living daylights out of each other….weaves go flying left and right.
Along with those admirable traits, the Mob Wives curse like sailors…so much so that I believe every third word is bleeped. This shit is cray and totally awesome…it’s the perfect recipe for a great reality show.
Why the “Mob Wives” would get me in a life vest and on a boat? Two words…Big Ang. I promise after you get to know Big Ang, you’ll be standing next to me in the cruise ship buffet line.
Of course there is more…stay tuned!
Hi, my name is Kari and I watch the “Jersey Shore.” I love it…so much so that I incorporate such words/phrases into my vernacular:
- “I know I’m not the smartest crayon… but we can make a party”
- “Let’s get wasty-pants”
- “Where’s the beach?” (Say while screaming at top of lungs)
- “I wanna go to the gymmm”
In preparation of Jersday…I discovered a photo to make you giggle like a fool:
Bahahahahhaha…guess whooooo? Yes, It is Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. He looks like such a gentleman here. But I know better…I read the gospel of Snooki:
Snooki on Mike: “That’s what you get for being a fucking douchebag.”
How does a man go from a bow tie to this:
Dear Mike, Stop shaving the sides of your head! Along with that, stop being a fucking douchebag. Love, Kari
I’m sure a majority of Americans were watching MTV on Jerzday. I won’t waste any time recapping the show. Let’s get down to business.
3. The problem also known as voltage
We first see signs of voltage when Pauly D is packing his coveted hair dryer. He seems to be well prepared with his international plug. I mean he does have to keep the blowout on point, even overseas.
When the cast arrives in Italy and they are prepping to hit the town, Pauly is seen blow-drying his blowout. He says, “Oh Sh*t it burnt out.” Apparently this wasn’t the first blow dryer he killed. When Sammi hears this news, she exclaims “I can’t blow dry my hair…” Deena even chimes in and whips out some sweet math skills. Deena replies “Is that 1800? If your voltage is 1600 you need a 2000 voltage.” Pauly blankly stares and keeps it moving.
We really get involved in a situation when the girls start using a hair straightener. While working on their weaves in the kitchen of all places, Deena almost sets her weave on fire.
2. Driving stick shift in Italy
On the first morning, the cast needs to accomplish the vital goal of GTL. They hop into their cars and head out. The guys seem to have everything under control while driving in the new territory. The girls, on the hand, have Snooki as their commander. Need I say more? It gets so bad that Snooki exclaims, “Is the car on? Am I going to run over anyone?” They get so lost that the ladies just turn around and go home. This scene made the anticipation rise for the crash into a police car / neck brace episode!
1. The Situation creeps on Snooki
This time around, Snooki has a gentleman caller that she can call all her own. Out on the patio, Situation reveals to Ronnie that he and Snooks have spent some quality times (yes, plural) alone…bombshell! While at the club, Situation is creeping hard on Snooki, so hard that it’s actually embarrassing for the viewers at home. The other cast members look on in horror. This can only lead to great things.
Can’t wait to see what magic this season brings us!
Oh Amy! What else can we say about her? Recently, Winehouse had scheduled a 12 stop European tour that was supposed to begin her comeback. Well it looks like those comeback dreams have quickly died. She has recently canceled the comeback that was supposed to end all comeback.Why did Winehouse put a stop to her tour? I believe it has something to do with the fact that she was booed off stage in Serbia last Sa. According to the LA Times, she was booed for “flubbing lyrics, yelling at her band and leaving long gaps of silence during numbers.”
Amy, take some tips from B. Spears. Her weave is on point, meds are regulated and shes got a great album!
Where did that singer with the tons of Grammy nominations go? I guess they should make her go back to rehab.
If you have ever watched “The Jersey Shore” you know that Snooki is a hot mess. From getting arrested for being extremely drunk on the beach, showing her whoo-haa pretty much daily and her drunk dials on the duck phone, the evidence is there for all to see.
Regardless of being a hot mess, she is one lovable hot mess. Snooki truly cares about her Jersey Shore family and we love her for that.
We already know of one hilarious moment from this upcoming season …Snooki crashing into an Italian officers car. Hey, she got to keep her license…point Snooki. Get ready for Season 4 of the Shore! The gang is off to Italy and it is sure to be full of ridiculousness and hilarious moments.
Stay strong Team Snooki !
Going from teenage dream to plain hot mess, we all know Tara Reid and her numerous hot mess occurrences. She had a pretty popping career in the beginning. Remember when she made appearances in “Urban Legend,” “Cruel Intentions” and “American Pie?”
I thought Miss Reid was going to graduate from teen comedy movies to more adult roles. I guess when you allegedly lose a front tooth at a party then get on the ground and search for it and then proceed to glue it back in…you have graduated to a hot mess.
While Reid denies this ever happened, it made me wonder how rumors such as this begin. I understand how rumors of a celebrity hooking up with someone starts, but losing a tooth! Let’s be real.
Welp, it’s Friday. You know what that means…it’s Celebrity Top 3 day! Each week it keeps getting more and more difficult to choose only three stories to spotlight. But alas, I have chosen my three favorites for this week. Here we go!
She’s just trying to find a husband
It has been reported that Jennifer Aniston has reeled in a new beau! The new Mr. Aniston supposedly is Justin Theroux. If you are like me, your response was “huh?” After doing some research, I found out that Theroux is a triple threat.
He acts, directs and is a screenwriter. His debut in the acting world was in the film “I shot Andy Warhol,” but he has also been in “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle” and “Zoolander.” I would say his most groundbreaking role was the cowboy in “Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion.”
People Magazine has reported that the pair has been dating for a few weeks and Theroux has already met Aniston’s bffs Chelsea Handler and Courtney Cox. Jen, excellent choice on this one! He’s sexy and he looks like he can kick Brad’s ass. Get it girl.
My favorite “Jersey Shore” cast member has found her way back into the slammer…this time in Italy. While she was cruising around with pal Deena, Snooki rammed into the back of an Italian cop car. You are probably thinking that she was intoxicated. Surprisingly, she was 100% sober when taken into custody.
When she was spotted after being released, Snooki was sporting a neck brace as if she was injured from the crash. A little while later, news broke that Snooki was just punking us and ripped the neck brace off. Oh Snooki you got us! As a side note, we don’t have to worry America, Snooki’s fender bender won’t cost her U.S.A driver’s license. Hitchhikers of America, Snooki can still pick you up!
“Man Down” literally
This week Rihanna premiered her new music video for her song “Man Down.” In the video, Rihanna shoots a man at the very beginning. The video then rewinds to the previous day where we see Rihanna being her carefree self. She meets a gentleman caller and it quickly turns ugly. It looks like this man sexually assaults Rihanna, hence the reason for the shooting.
Well, the Parents Television Council has to throw its two cents in stating, “If Chris Brown shot a woman in his new video and BET premiered it, the world would stop. Rihanna should not get a pass …” Rihanna gets a free pass for the rest of her life. She can do whatever she wants. I respect Rihanna for putting this video out. While I’m sure she’s not supporting murder, I think she’s trying to put a stop to this type of violence in her own way. Team Rihanna 4ever.
There you have it. The Celebrity Top 3 for this week. Stay tuned for next week!