J.Lo Doesn’t Listen to You…You Listen to J.Lo…Part III

For my final piece of the J.Lo musical puzzle…I’ve chosen a song that isn’t even J.Lo’s. Yes, she is that powerful that she takes over songs that she is merely featured on.

‘Follow the Leader’

Photo Courtesy: dailymail.co.uk

In real life…this is Wisin & Yandel’s song and it features J.Lo as a guest. Since J.Lo does not play second banana to anyone, many people (myself included) probably assume that this is solely a J.Lo jam. After I watched the video, I pondered the following thought: Who the hell are those two weirdys next to Jenny (from da Bronx)?

Those weirdys are Wisin & Yandel and they are described as a Puerto Rican reggaeton duo. These two have been around for years…since 1998 to be exact. Surprisingly, I have a personal experience with these two gentlemen.

When I was a freshman in college, one of my friends told me about this new song she just had to play for me and my roommate. The song was called “Noche De Sexo” and once I heard four seconds of it…I was in love. Along with being in love, I had no idea what the song meant until…now.

Anywho, J.Lo stars in Wisin & Yandel’s song/music video for “Follow the Leader” and kills it. Who knew J.Lo could do parkour and look so cool with a chest piece? Yet another reason she is my almost spiritual goddess.

Okay, let’s recap…

  1. Do not challenge J.Lo to any sort of anything…she will always come out on top.
  2. Get a chest piece that contains a Spanish word to impress others.
  3. When you follow the leader…the leader is really J.Lo.
  4. Learn Spanish in order to break into Spanish rap game.
  5. J.Lo and I do have one thing in common…when we are both on the floor, our hips are in charge.

J.Lo – See you (and your boo Casper) in AC aka the Vegas of the East Coast. Love, your bodiqua.

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J.Lo Doesn’t Listen to You…You Listen to J.Lo…Part II

With the weekend coming to a close, I think you could use another J.Lo jam to get your spirits up before a case of the Mondays hit.

Photo Courtesy: stagevu.com

‘Jenny From The Block’

There are many, many reasons to the love this song/music video. Don’t worry, I’ll only be highlighting two:

1. Did you know that Jennifer is from the Bronx…more specifically the South-Side? Don’t feel bad if you didn’t…she reminds us every time the chorus hits.

2. One of my hobbies is reminiscing about celebrity couples from the past. J.Lo not only provided one of the greatest/awkward celebrity couples, but whored it out in the music video. Hint: Bennifer.

Even though this song is basically J.Lo telling everyone about all the great shit she has…I’m still into it. I like hearing about the rocks that she got and that she used to have a little, but now she has a lot.

Now lets discuss the most important aspect of this video…Bennifer. I have always wondered why Ben Affleck participated in this video…J.Lo must have really had his ass whipped.

I can only imagine the boatloads of harassment Affleck took after this video was released and especially after his engagement with the singer ended. I can practically hear Matt Damon asking Ben “Remember that time you slapped J.Lo’s ass on a yacht and it was in that music video?” Poor Ben.

One good thing about Bennifer…J.Lo really turned Ben from a scruffy dude to a leading Hollywood man who uses hair gel and wears expensive suits.

J.Lo – Thank you for getting Ben on point and prepping him for his next Jennifer…Garner that is.


J.Lo Doesn’t Listen to You…You Listen to J.Lo

Photo Courtesy: missjojobie.com

Every once in a while I get on a certain musical artist kick.

During this kick, I basically listen to one artist over and over until my roommates can’t stand it anymore. Obviously, I don’t get sick of the music..hence the kick. This month I am on a J.Lo/Jenny from the block/Jennifer Lopez/Selena kick.

J.Lo has provided me, along with the world, great jams that have the ability to fill the void in a variety of occasions and moments.

Below I would like to highlight a few of my favorite J.Lo jams.

‘Waiting for Tonight’

Who hasn’t gotten up on a Friday morning and thought “God, I can’t wait for tonight.” I do this everyday…even on Mondays.

“Waiting for Tonight” is one of those songs that you play at the party, before the party. Whenever this song comes on, I automatically turn on my green laser strobe lights, whisper inappropriate phrases in Spanish, glue jewels over my whole body and dance my face off in a manner that would make J.Lo proud.

If you recall, “Waiting for Tonight” was release in 1999. Yes, that was before we called Jennifer J.Lo! Even though it’s over 10 years old, this song still entices people to anticipate tonight and try to dance like Jennifer…but fail miserably .

J.Lo – with “Waiting for Tonight” you officially earned my endorsement. Get it girl.

Stay tuned…there’s more J.Lo coming up…


Celebrity Top 3

Jennifer Lopez…Man eater

Photo Courtesy: usmagazine.com

After J.Lo and Marc Anthony generated the split heard around the world, I was expecting Jenny from Da Block to take some time to regroup. Well, I guess I was wrong…and I can’t believe I just admitted that. Who is the new man she has sunk her talons into…Bradley Cooper!

A few days ago, J.Lo and Bradley had a nice dinner date at the classy Per Se in NYC! It must have been a real-life date because Jenny left the entourage and huge bodyguards at home.

According to the “New York Post,” “One onlooker at the restaurant said, ‘He waited 10 minutes for her to arrive, and she turned up in a white bandage dress looking ridiculously hot. They sat at a corner table smiling and chatting. It looked like they were heavily flirting. They left together out of a back door, so not to be seen.”

Bradley’s rep comented, “They were meeting for business regarding a project.” Let’s be real – J.Lo doesn’t leave the entourage and/or bodyguards for anyone…

Jennifer – I thought we were past this “I’m going to date the hottest man in Hollywood right now” phase. Remember Ben? I do hope you are only stepping out on the town with B-Coop to show Marc what he’s missing. If so, my respect level bumped up a few notches for you.

ScarJo’s goodies hit the interweb

Photo Courtesy: justjared.buzznet.com

Welp, I guess nobody listened to Reese Witherspoon’s advice that she so generously passed along at the MTV Movie Awards. Just as a quick reminder, Reese advised “…if you take naked pictures of yourself on your cell phone, you hide your face, people!” They still haven’t learned.

Here’s the deets, a hacker broke into Scarlett Johansson’s cellular telephone and scored some naked pics of the starlet. These pictures reportedly show ScarJo topless and (according to MTV) “another shows her standing with a towel covering her front side with her butt exposed in a mirror.”

Like any normal woman, Scarlett got pissed. Instead of just letting her nude pics spread around the web like wildfire, Scarlett kicked it up a notch and called the FBI. According to E! News, “The FBI is investigating a person or group responsible for a series of cyber intrusions of high-profile figures,” FBI spokeswoman Laura Eimiller said. “This would include many devices — could mean a computer, desktop, laptop, iPad, cell phone … intrusions into personal online accounts too.”

It’s been reported today that ScarJo’s legal team has sent out a bunch of nasty/threatening letters to websites posting the photos and ordered for the removal of ScarJo’s goodies.

A lesson I learned today: Don’t f*ck with Scarlett Johansson or she will call the feds.

Brad Pitt – What a d*ck

Photo Courtesy: atop10wallpaper.blogspot.com

After spending 7 years with Jennifer Aniston and then leaving her for every woman’s arch nemesis (Angelina Jolie)…he has to go and do this!? In case you haven’t heard, Brad Pitt sat down with “Parade” magazine and forgot his filter at the house that Angelina built.

Brad told “Parade,” “It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself,” Pitt told Parade about the final years of his relationship with Aniston, which ended in 2005. “I think that my marriage had something to do with it, trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t.”

When I first heard this, three words came to my mind…rage, rage, rage! Just when it looks like Jennifer is moving on with her new man Jason, Brad has to stick his nose in.

Since tons of people became outraged that Brad had the nerve to leave Jen in the first place and toss out such a hurtful comment, someone on his PR team made him release a statement saying otherwise.

Brad commented, “It grieves me that this was interpreted this way,” wrote Pitt, reports Reuters. “Jen is an incredibly giving, loving, and hilarious woman who remains my friend. It is an important relationship I value greatly. The point I was trying to make is not that Jen was dull, but that I was becoming dull to myself — and that, I am responsible for.”

Brad – She even stayed by your side when you had that creepy Jesus beard. Ugh. Whatever Brad…Team Jennifer for life.


Dear *Fill in Celebrity Name Here*

I have recently thought that it would be a good idea to start sending actual letters to celebrities. I have many thoughts that need to be shared. Since stamp prices have gone through the roof, why not use this blog to get their attention and save some trees! Todays letter is dedicated to Marc Anthony.

Dear Marc Anthony,

Photo Courtesy: innthebasement.com

How are you? I am fine. I see that you are doing a tell-all interview with John Quinones airing September 1 on ABC. How big of a blackout do you think J.Lo is going to be in after it airs? I hope you got enough cash money from ABC in order to buy a really big bodyguard. I can’t see you doing well in a fight against your ex-lady; she is from da Bronx after all.

I always thought you were J.Lo’s soul mate; it certainly wasn’t that backup dancer guy. Oh yea, and you left your previous wife for Jennifer…remember? If that doesn’t say love, I don’t know what does.

After 7 years together and twin babies, you guys were headed for a beautiful retirement home, shuffleboard and bingo. What happened? I heard a few rumblings that you may have cheated on our precious Jennifer. Marc – she is like Santa, she knows all. You accidently leave one of the babies at the grocery store – she knows, you stay up late to watch reruns of the Kardashians  – she knows, you cheat – she knows.

I watched the teaser for your interview and I’m slightly upset that you may be throwing Jenny from Da Block under the bus. You say you didn’t cheat on her, that “It was a realization on both our parts. So you know it wasn’t shocking. These things happen. It was a decision that we made jointly.” Wasn’t shocking? I was so shocked that I bruised my tailbone from falling out the chair I was in.

I have another bone to pick with you. What’s the deal with Jada Pinkett Smith? You know that part in her name that says “Smith?” That’s Jada’s

Photo Courtesy: technorati.com

married name! Did you know that “Life & Style” is saying, “Marc said Jada was so sexy because she was in great shape and had this tough attitude, which he loves.” First of all, J.Lo is in killer shape…maybe you should take off those creepy sunglasses you always wear and open. your. eyes!

Marc – I do have to say that I don’t completely hate you. I really liked the song you did with Pitbull titled, “Rain Over Me.” My favises part of the video is when you two gentlemen are dancing in the desert together.

I just want to let you know that I will be tuning in and critiquing every second of your tell-all interview. For the record, I am on team J.Lo.

Love always,

Kari

P.S. You don’t divorce J.Lo…J.Lo divorces you.


Jenny Going Back to the Block?

Photo Courtesy youfrenzy.com

Yes, the rumors are true; J.Lo and Marc Anthony are getting the big D (divorce). After seven glorious years, which included twin babies, the highly acclaimed film “El Cantante” and a duet that I don’t understand one word of – this power couple is no longer.

Let’s take it back to a time where J.Lo was just exiting one of her more popular romances known as “Bennifer.” Once her and Ben Affleck finally noticed that it was just plain awkward that they were an item and decided to end it, J.Lo wasted no time. A little less than two months after her split from Ben, J.Lo was seen with Marc Anthony! (gasp)

As for Marc’s side in this, let’s remember he was a married man. Marc and his wife at the time, Dayanara Torres decided to separate in 2003. Marc and  Torres were officially divorced in June 2004. Marc and J.Lo were married just four days later. Homewrecker anyone?

Even after kissing and practically marrying all those damn frogs, I was sure that J.Lo had finally found her prince charming. Welp, the world has been blindsided once again. We the people have found out that J.Lo and her man are separating.

A joint statement released by the couple stated:

“We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters. It is a painful time for all involved, and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time.”

J.Lo, I still can’t forget you and Ja Rule singing that song “I’m Real.” Maybe you could be real with Ja Rule? I’m not sure if he’s in jail, but I’m sure you could work around that. Team J.Lo 4ever


Celebrity Top 3

In the spirit of recycling, in turn, saving the planet, I have decided to revive an old column I used to write for my college newspaper. The column was titled, “Celebrity Top 3” and I used to share and summarize the top three stories in pop culture that particular week. Brace yourself! Below are the top three stories of the week.

Does Jesus vote for American Idols too?

Photo Courtesy tmz.com

Season ten of “American Idol” is now complete and America has picked a winner…Scotty McCreery. Our new idol received tips and tricks from a mostly new panel of judges. Seasoned judge Randy Jackson and new additions to the panel, which included Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez (Jenny from the Block), offered up advice and guidance to the final two contestants.

In the end, McCreery beat out Haley Reinhart. “I’ve got to thank the Lord first; he got me here,” McCreery said. My personal opinion, we found the American Idol. Yes, her name is Kelly Clarkson. Look for her new album dropping this fall!

Free Lohan!

Photo Courtesy thehothits.com

Finally our justice system has tamed the most dangerous criminal known to man and woman (social justice)…Lindsay Lohan. It all stemmed from an incident at a jewelry store this past January. The “Mean Girls” star was originally sentenced to 120 days in an actual jail cell. Because of overcrowding in the prison system, Lohan will only serve 20% of her sentence or 14 days under house arrest.

She will be wearing a new piece of jewelry though, a nice new electronic ankle bracelet. Lohan had until June 17 to begin her sentence, but she honorably turned herself in early. Will this house arrest produce and new and improved Lohan? Let’s be real. I miss the days she was hanging out with Britney and Paris.

So is Gayle taking over?

Photo Courtesy mediabistro.com

An era has ended. After 25 years, the Oprah Winfrey Show has completed its run. In true Oprah style, she went out with a bang. The finale week was filled with memories, laughs, tears, and celebrities! Some of Oprah’s final words to her fans during her sign off were, “I won’t say goodbye, I’ll just say until we meet again.”

If there are some words you need to share with Oprah, don’t worry she left her email address behind. You can catch her at Oprah@Oprah.com. My next question is, will the next show to fill Oprah’s time slot be called “The Gayle Show?”

Keep an eye out for the top three celebrity stories of the week here, every Thursday! I am looking forward to sharing celebrity and pop culture stories in the future!


Remember When…

Now is the time of year when students are graduating and heading off into the “real world.” Right before graduating from college, my friends and I would reminisce by kicking around our favorite “Remember Whens.” In honor of all the graduating students, we want to share our favorite celebrity remember whens.

Remember when Paris, Lindsay, and Britney were friends?

Photo Courtesy Daily Mail

Towards the end of 2006, Britney Spears was single and ready to mingle. Spears teamed up with Paris Hilton, who was known for dancing on tables and Lindsay Lohan who was a veteran to the party scene. It was the hot mess express coming through.

The girls were seen at clubs, cruising around all night and showing up at celebrity hot spots like the Beverly Hills Hotel. While many expected this behavior from Hilton and Lohan, many were surprised to see Spears alongside them. She is a mother of two boys. Sadly, the dream team couldn’t last forever. Spears ended up in rehab and in an emotional blackout, Hilton was thrown into the slammer, and Lohan was incarcerated and tossed into rehab!

Remember when Ben Affleck was going to marry J.Lo?

Photo Courtesy MTV.UK

We all recall when Ben Affleck tried to fool us by marrying Jennifer Lopez. I’m not saying he wasn’t good enough for her, but their relationship felt weird. Dubbed by the media as “Bennifer” the couple attracted worldwide media attention when they began dating in 2002. Meeting on the set of “GiGi,” the couple was soon engaged and set to marry in September of 2003. A few hours before the ceremony, the wedding was called off and they officially split in January 2004.

We have to give it to these two; they did last longer than anyone ever imagined. J.Lo made sure we would remember “Bennifer” forever. Affleck made a cameo appearance in her “Jenny from the Block” video and she even wrote a song for her man, titled “Dear Ben.” A classy slow jam, J.Lo proclaims lyrics such as “I love you, you’re perfect/a manifestation of my dreams.” I bet Affleck’s current wife, Jennifer Garner isn’t a fan of “American Idol” anymore.

Remember When Ashlee Simpson got caught lip-syncing on SNL?

Photo Courtesy People.com

In 2004, Ashlee Simpson, sister of Jessica, was the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live,” the keyword being live. Simpson was set to perform a different song, but “Pieces of Me” started playing instead. Suddenly the audience heard Simpson singing but she wasn’t moving her lips! Gasp!

When Simpson realized what happened, she began to move awkwardly and then just walked off stage. Cut to the end of “Saturday Night Live,” Simpson and host, Jude Law, attempted to smooth this over. “What can I say it’s live TV,” said Law, while Simpson tried to blame her band. This was the beginning of the end of Simpson’s music career.

While there are thousands of “Remember Whens” that could be shared, here are just a few of my favorites. Here’s to looking forward to many more celebrity moments that we won’t forget. Remember celebrities, we are watching.


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