Miley and that Tongue are Single and Ready to Mingle

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In between the extreme twerking, grinding on Robin Thicke and sticking out her tongue …Miley Cyrus and her fiancé Liam Hemsworth have finally closed the chapter on their love. We all knew they were circling the drain (Katy Perry reference, anyone?), but I still had hopes these two would pull through.

You might say, “Hey Kari, it could still work out for these two.” I would say to you “Don’t string me along. I know it’s over.” How do I know that it’s over? Miley has stopped following her ex-boo on Twitter.

As a side note, when did unfollowing someone on Twitter become the be all and end all? I guess I’m from the generation that still feels unfriending people on Facebook really burns the other person. Can someone tell me if unfriending is still the way to figuratively burn others?

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Anywho, Miley and Liam met back in 2009 on the set of “The Last Song” and yes, I did cry during the credits. The pair became engaged in May 2012 and I was so happy that I sorta felt like I was engaged. Ok, not really but I was happy for them.

In my opinion, what really got this breakup train rolling was when Miley cut off her long locks and began to rock the super short, extremely blonde mohawkish thing on her head. It was basically the haircut heard around the globe and Miley 2.0 was born. From this moment on, I’ve continuously stated “Liam is just too classy for Miley.” And for once, I was right…sorry Miley.

Let’s be real, Miley is obviously going through something. She wants to be a wild child and now is her chance to do it. She’s 20 and has a boatload of money. If you were in her shoes, wouldn’t you be doing the same thing? Personally, I wouldn’t choose that exact hairstyle, but I would be getting real wild.

Miley – Go buck wild and give Liam a call in a few years. That fling with January Jones won’t last long, she seems to be a little stagnant in the personality department. Oops, can’t say that.

Mad Women

Firstly, I must apologize for the lack of posting. I just completed the worst week of the year…finals week. But I have great news…I’m back and hopefully better than ever.

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Like most of America, I’m a part of the “Mad Men” phenomena and last evening was the long-awaited season five premiere. In preparation for this glorious day I have been rewatching past episodes and reliving the 1960s with Don, Betty, Roger, etc.

While the main focus of the show is on Don Draper and the men of Sterling, Cooper, Draper, Price…I’d like to highlight my three favorite female characters.

This one is for the ladies!

Peggy Olson

Starting out as a secretary and clawing her way to become the first female copywriter at the firm, Peggy is now Don’s second in command. This lady has certainly earned an Independent Woman badge.

Peggy is played by Elizabeth Moss who actually is a Scientologist in real life…mind blow…but that’s besides the point.

When you first meet Peggy, she comes off as a churchgoing straightedge kinda gal, but as I get to know her more and more…I’m finding out that Peggy is cooler than I am. Watch the clip below and you’ll agree.

Betty Draper

Ahh yes…the original Mrs. Draper. Betty is a classy, strong woman who doesn’t take shit from anyone…including her kids. For example:

Sally (Betty’s daughter): You’re mean.

Betty: You betcha!

Hopefully January Jones’ parenting skills are a little bit better. I’m not too sure about that though, January’s reputation is synonymous with bitch.

My fav Betty moment involves pigeons, a cigarette and a shotgun. It doesn’t get any better than this.

Joan Holloway

Last but certainly not least…Joan Holloway is the type of woman I want to be when I grow up. She’s got class, sass and woos every man she comes into contact with. Joan can also play the accordion. Holla at me if you know where I can get accordion lessons!

Joan is played by the fabulous Christina Hendricks and I wouldn’t mind waking up tomorrow as Joan or Christina…yes I’m serious.

If you are currently looking for a roommate…Joan offers some sweet, sweet tips on how to land a perfect housemate…watch below!

That’s all for this evening…Tune in Sundays at 10 p.m. on AMC for brand new “Mad Men” episodes.

If a Genie Granted Me 3 Wishes…

Honestly, I have no idea where I get these ideas. One minute I’m sitting on the couch staring into space and the next I scream out a title for a blog post. It’s most likely a gift from adult Jesus.

Anywho, I would like to share with you the three celebrities I would wish to spend a day with, get to know and maybe become besties 4ever.

January Jones 

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Many people know this lady as Betty Draper (or more recently Betty Francis) on AMC’s “Mad Men.” Spoiler Alert: Betty dropped Don like he was hot…and I’m proud of her!

So…in the words of Hilary Duff…”Let’s go back, back to the beginning.” January was born Jan. 5, 1978…hmm. Ironically, her name does not come from the month she was born, but from a book called “Once is Not Enough” by Jacqueline Susann.

January was birthed in Sioux Falls, South Dakota and that actually surprises me. January seems more like she grew up in a big city…like a gossip girl.

Starting out as a model, January worked her way into the acting business starting in 1999. Playing a slew of random/small parts, January really made waves in “Anger Management,” staring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. She played Gina…a lesbian porn star. Next, January scored the part of Cadence…the token virgin in “American Wedding.” These roles really showed me that January has quite the range as an actress.

It wasn’t until 2007 that January secured her most well known role to date…Betty Draper on “Mad Men.” She started out playing Don’s trophy wife who seems to be the ultimate housewife on the outside, but we quickly realize Betty is a hot mess on the inside. Why? Well, one reason is while Betty is at home keeping house, Don is getting it in with every woman who is capable of breathing. No wonder she dropped his ass.

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In an interview with the UK’s “Daily Mail,” January was asked what advice she would give Betty. January responded with, “Get out! Grow up!” At least now I know that January could be an independent woman if need be.

That brings me to her romantic life. January has been linked to many famous/beautiful men. Let’s make a list, shall we…reminder this is not an extensive list, just the highlights.

  • Ashton Kutcher
  • Josh Groban
  • Brandon Davis (The guy who called Lohan a fire crotch)
  • Jeremy Piven
  • Adrian Brody
  • Bobby Flay
  • Jason Sudeikis

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What’s interesting is that somewhere along the line, January got pregs and had a baby back in September…Xander Dane Jones.

You may be wondering, why is this interesting…celebrities ladies have babies all the time. Well, January is playing the “let’s not tell anyone who the baby daddy is” game. Hmm…

Why would I wish to hang out with January?

January reminds me of those girls in high school that were mean, but were still popular for no apparent reason. I think it’s about time that I learn how to be a bitch and still be loved at the same time. Who better than January to teach me?

I would also like to know who the baby daddy is! You can’t leave me in suspense any longer, January. I grind my teeth at night wondering and speculating.

Remember When…

Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s Couch

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If you want to show your significant other how much you love them, would you jump on a couch and proclaim your admiration for your better half on Oprah? Many would say no, but Tom Cruise would say differently.

During this time, Mr. Cruise was on his promotional tour for “Wars of the Worlds” and stopped by Oprah. The movie was trumped by Cruise’s blooming relationship with Katie Holmes.

Tom spent his time with Oprah professing his love for Joey Potter and tossed in the fact that he’s in a new movie. I’d say the shining moment in the interview was when Tom slightly manhandled Katie to get her on stage. Two words: Free Katie!!!!!!

Levi Johnston posed for “Playgirl”

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One of our favorite Alaskan residents decided to take it all off but not show it all off (boo).

Levi Johnston decided to extend his fifteen minutes of fame and posed for “Playgirl.” If I do say so myself, it was a very wise choice. I don’t know if it was wise for his career, but it was a wise choice for the sole fact that it increased his lady fan base.

Unfortunately, he didn’t show his Alaskan pistol, but we did get a glimpse of Bristol Palin’s ex-boyfriend. Bristol, we understand and are pretty jealous.

Ashton Kutcher dated January Jones

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Before he became Mr. Demi Moore, Ashton dated Miss January Jones. When January landed in Hollywood, Kutcher was the first boyfriend she snagged when she arrived. Needless to say, he wasn’t very supportive of January’s acting career. In “GQ,” January stated that, “The guy I was dating when I first got to L.A. was not supportive of my acting,” she says. “He was like, I don’t think you’re going to be good at this. So fuck you!”

Welp, I guess Ashton was wrong. January is a stellar star on AMC’s “Mad Men” and has many upcoming movies on the horizon. I’m making a decision, decision made…point January.


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