Topless Tuesday

Happy Tuesday! You all know what this means…

Lloyd Banks

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This past Saturday I was putting a lot of time and effort into building my party playlist for the summer. While I was listing to “Magic Stick” by Lil’ Kim ft. 50 Cent, I stumbled upon another member of G-Unit…Mr. Lloyd Banks.

Lloyd and I go way back, all the way back to a time when I was in high school and would cruise in my mom’s car to his jam “Warrior.” I’ll be honest. I thought I was a member of G-Unit. Others didn’t think so…that’s for sure.

Anywho this post is about Lloyd and not my aspiring rap career…back to you Lloyd.

Christopher Charles Lloyd was born April 30, 1982 (Happy Belated Bday, Lloyd!) in New Carrollton, Maryland but was raised in Queens, New York.

A few honorable mentions about Lloyd:

  • Lloyd took the name Banks from his great, great-grandfather
  • He dropped out of high school at 16
  • Mr. Banks is a mix of Puerto Rican and African-American descent
  • Lloyd was a founding member of G-Unit along with his pals 50 Cent and Tony Yayo

In 2004 Lloyd released his debut album “The Hunger for More” featuring the single “On Fire.” If you listen closely you can hear a little 50 Cent during the chorus.

Lloyd’s debut album hit hard selling 500,500 copies during the first week.

As for his second album, Lloyd had an album all ready to be released. It was supposed to be called “The Big Withdraw” and contained 23 tracks. Interestingly enough, “The Big Withdraw” was never officially released. How could that be?

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Well…this one time Lloyd was involved in, for lack of a better term, a 3-way with two ladies and he accidentally left the album behind. As any logical woman in that situation would do…one of them leaked the album to the Interweb. Come on ladies…you would do the same!

Lloyd said of the matter, “It’s truth to that rumor. That comes from me doing too much. I was just lost in my ways, fucked two women at one time. It’s the little things you don’t pay attention to…”

Following that messy incident, Banks began working on his (technically) third album “Rotten Apples.” His last studio release was called “H.F.M.: The Hunger for More 2″ and dropped in 2010, featuring the single “Beamer, Benz, or Bently” ft. Juelz Santana.

If you’re looking for more Lloyd, keep an eye out for Banks’s next mixtape release “V6.” It was set to drop yesterday, but Banks posted a tweet that said “Still a few things I have to do with the tape, it’s not droppin monday..but soon after!,” he wrote. “I just want it to be delivered the right way. Trust me, it’s worth the wait! You won’t be disappointed.”

Lloyd – Stay in the spotlight, you are too pretty to hide in Queens.

Remember When…

Kelis’ milkshake brought all the boys to the yard?

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I certainly remember and I’m still wondering what the Kelis version of a milkshake actually means. According to Urban Dictionary, a milkshake could be:

  • What “brings all the boys to the yard” and causes them to fall in love with you and do whatever you want.
  • If you’re milkshake is really good you don’t even have to ask, they do it automatically.
  • A milkshake is a female’s mojo. Something that can’t be taught but you are born with. Either you have it or you don’t.

Now that we have solved that mystery, “Milkshake” is a jam by R&B/Hip-Hop star Kelis that was released Aug. 25, 2005. You can locate it on the album titled, “Tasty.” I am deeming this song an oldie, but still a God damn goodie.

“Milkshake” reached number three on the Billboard Hot 100 and is considered Kelis’ best charting song to date. Let’s be real…it’s her only good song.

What I think really makes this song awesome is the music video. It consists of Kelis entering a diner called Tasty’s Yard and dancing seductively with an actual milkshake for three minutes. Keep an eye out for a Nas cameo. Side note: Nas used to be hitched to Kelis but the couple divorced in 2009 when Kelis was seven months pregnant…sad face.

Anywho…favise lyrics: “I could teach you, but I have to charge” | favise part of music video: when Kelis is gyrating on the diner counter.

Moral of this story…shake your milkshake and the boys will come running.

Stuck in my Head – ‘Top Back’

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Last evening I was relaxing on the couch and searching for some good reality TV. On one of the channels, T.I. flashed across the screen and I shrieked with excitement.

Fyi: T.I. aka Clifford Harris Jr. is on my list of celebrities who I would take my shirt off for…it’s his swagger and the way he wears a hat. I’m hot-flashing as I type.

If you don’t know, T.I and his wife (Tiny) have a reality show on VH1, called “T.I. and Tiny: The Family Hustle.”  In this half hour of TV gold, I learned the following:

  • T.I. has a boatload of kids…I counted six, but who really knows
  • T.I.’s lady does not meet the expectations I have for being the wife of such a beautiful rapper
  • T.I. was arrested at the BET award show in 2007
  • Even though he was in the clink, T.I. is still a gentleman

Side note: T.I. comes from the nickname “Tip” that was given by his great-grandfather. The nickname was shortened to T.I. after he was signed to Arista Records, which included rapper, Q-Tip…get it?

Watching T.I. be T.I. on his reality show got me thinking about one of my favise T.I. jams…”Top Back (Remix).” This song pops up on T.I.’s fourth studio album “King.” It’s great to cruise around to in your Honda and it includes a guest appearance by Young Jeezy <3.

The music video is a typical rap video…women are washing cars and the rappers are rapping in front of those cars. If T.I. wasn’t so damn handsome, I might have to give him the demeaning to women stamp…but my heart will not allow it.

Favise lyrics: “God damn my money sick/Ay! I need to see a doctor”

While I know that T.I. does not speak these words…you can’t deny how clever Young Jeezy is with his rhymes.

T.I. – If you are willing to relocate to Phila, I would be more than happy to buy you the Phillies hat in every color. Call me!

Stuck in my head – ‘My Name Is’

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I’m bringing it back to the days when Eminem had luscious bleach blonde hair, wore overalls without a shirt and thought it was normal to write songs about killing his ex-wife. Ahhh….memories.

I was watching some ridiculous music countdown on the Fuse network (you know the station that still plays music videos) and Slim Shady popped up saying, “Hi, my name is.”

This jam dropped in 1999 and was the beginning of the tsunami that is Slim Shady. This single peaked at #36 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and reached the #1 position on “TRL.” Side note: Eminem was the first rapper to reach that precious goal.

The music video is what really sold me on this song. It begins with a middle-aged couple watching their television in their home on wheels. The husband (his belly button is exposed) is flipping through the channels and lands on “The Slim Shady Show.” Don’t we all wish this was a real TV show? Could you imagine the things we would have witnessed?! My imagination is running wild as I type!

Favises lyrics: “My English teacher wanted to flunk me in Junior High/Thank a lot, next semester I’ll be thirty-five/I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler/And stapled his nuts to a stack of papers”

Slim Shady is so poetic.

Favises part of the music video: When Eminem impersonates Bill Clinton…I mean who doesn’t love a Clinton impersonation. Side note: was that really Monica in the music video…if not, Lewinsky has a doppelganger.

Marshall – please bring back your alter ego Slim. He was cute with the right amount of crazy thrown in. That is all.

Is this real life? Part II

Kevin Federline “America’s Most Hated”

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Well, this title hits the nail directly on the head. My first question is: who approved this?

Federline released “Playing with Fire” in October 2006. Surprisingly, all songs were co-written by the life ruiner. The album sold a total of 6,500 during its first week, debuting at number 151 on Billboards Top 200…o0o0o burn. To be fair, Mr. Spears did peak at #2 on the Billboard Top Heatseekers chart.

I will give credit where credit is due. It’s actually not that bad of a song. Now I’m not going to lie, I could totally see myself cruising around in my Honda playing this jam…if someone else was singing it of course. As a lifelong member of Team Britney, I just cannot allow myself to fully like this song.

Lyrics that I have a bone to pick with K-fed about:  

  • Droppin – nothin but heat me an JR” – Who the F is JR?
  • “I built a kingdom down the street from Pepperdine” – NO! Britney forked over the cash money for your kingdom.
  • “I’m on the frontline/Dodgin cameras like the one time” – You were only dodging cameras because you some how convinced Brit to marry you and then used your superhuman sperm to impregnate her, remember?
  • “I got my blue Yankee fitted on” – Okay Jay-Z.
  • “I got my name spreadin faster than crack” – Fine comparison.
  • “I got 50 mill/I can do whatever I want” – This is the portion of the rap song where I must pause before I slip into a blackout. I do believe that this 50 mill you speak of isn’t yours. You have not been hustling since you were 16-years-old wearing a catholic school uniform, standing on a mountain top and telling people you are “not a girl, not yet a woman,” performing live on the VMAs with a giant yellow snake around your neck, among many, many other things. Excuse my rage everyone.

Below is only the song, K-Fed only was allowed to make one music video for “Lose Control

Dear K-fed, I blame you. Listen to her pain. Love, Kari

Stuck in my head – Go Getta

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This song is perfect to blast in your car and cruise around town. People will look at you and think one of two things: “What a BAMF” or “What a fool.” It’s hit or miss. I think it depends on what kind of whip you’re cruising in. If it’s a Honda, you will be a designated BAMF, I know from experience.

When I first saw what Young Jeezy looked like, I was kind of surprised. He’s not what I pictured in my mind. Don’t get me wrong, I would say yes if he asked me out. (hint, hint)

As for R. Kelly, I think we all know the trouble he’s gotten himself into in recent years. I also read that he is dealing with foreclosure issues and had emergency throat surgery earlier this month. R. Kelly released a statement saying, “Yo what’s up, y’all, it’s your boy Kellz, fresh out the hospital. Just want to say thanks to my fans for supporting me. I want to say thanks to all the prayer warriors out there for supporting me.” You can check out the actual video of R. Kelly speaking this message. He sounds like he’s having a rough time using his words. Could that be because of the surgical mask he’s wearing?

Anywho, I hope Kellz gets better to, one day, reunite with Young Jeezy. They do come up with some great beats together. My favises lyric in this song is “Ima Stay Thuggin Till Da Feds Come Get Me.”

Remember When…

Kanye West released a full-length film

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In honor of the highly anticipated release of “Watch the Throne,” here is my shout out to Yeezy. Last October we were blessed when Kanye West released his debut film titled, “Runaway.” It’s 34 minutes of highlights off of Yeezy’s album, “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.” The songs off West’s album help us follow the story of these two ill-fated lovebirds…no pun intended. Such songs included “Dark Fantasy,” “All of the Lights” and “Runaway.”

The film begins with West running like an animal down a deserted road. At this point, we have no idea where or why he is running. Then we are taken back to the beginning when a mysterious, but beautiful creature flies into Earth on a comet and Kayne West takes her under his wing (of course).

At first I thought this storyline was quite odd, but as I watched this film for a third time, I felt that Kanye was trying to say something more. Not that I figured out what that was, but atleast the thought is there. I think the only person who could fall in love with a phoenix (aka a Victoria Secret model Selita Ebanks) would be Kanye West. Below are some of my favises from the film:

Favorite image: The gigantic light up Michael Jackson head.

Favorite scene: Without question when Kanye is rapping on top of the piano and the dancers come in. I’m glad ballet/pointe dancers got a chance to show of their amazing skills.

Favorite Kanye moment: When a fellow guest during the dinner party scene says, “Your girlfriend is really beautiful. Do you know she’s a bird?” “Nah I never noticed that,” Yeezy replies.

Favorite Quote: “First rule in this world baby, don’t pay attention to anything you see in the news.”

In the end, we find out why Kanye was running like a crazed animal. He was trying to stop his phoenix girlfriend from leaving him. Who knew he could run so fast.


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