It’s Britney Bitch…Again

Many people’s favorite time of year falls around the holiday season or the beginnings of summer. My favorite time is neither of those…it’s when Britney Spears releases new music.

As you may have guessed, that day is RIGHT NOW!

Before you listen to Brit’s new jam, I would like to say a few words. If you haven’t visited http://britneyspears.com in a while, the site has been displaying a countdown with the phrase All Eyes on Me. There has been much speculation as to what this countdown was counting towards. For a few days I thought it was for the Vegas tour announcement, but now I realize it’s for a NEW MUSIC VIDEO! If you can’t tell, I’m freaking out!

Here is what we have all been waiting for. It’s time to Work Bitch!

A few things I’ve learned/realized from this song:

  1. Britney loves using the word Bitch
  2. She must have some English roots, because Brit is really going British these days
  3. I need to start purchasing leotards to wear on casual friday

Lyrics to look out for: Go call the police / Go call the governor / I bring the trouble / That means the trouble y’all

Keep an eye out for Brit’s new music video. It will be revealed in 1 day, 11 hours, 56 minutes and  25 seconds. I mean 24 seconds. No wait 23 seconds. Jesus, you get the point.

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Is this real life? Part III

Heidi Montag “Blackout”

Photo Courtesy: bittenandbound.com

For my final installment in the “Is this real life” series, I have chosen an infamous reality star turned (total) failed singer…Heidi Montag. While January 11, 2010 may have seemed like an ordinary day to you, it was a big deal in the Montage-Pratt household. Why you ask? Heidi’s compact disc “Superficial” dropped. The name seems more fitting after she got all that plastic surgery, right?

In my research, I have learned some fascinating things about this album:

  • “Superficial” took a whopping three years to complete
  • Spencer shows us his sweet rap skills on “Body Language.” Unfortunately this jam didn’t make it on to the album…bummer
  • It looks like it was all funded by Team Speidi and cost…wait for it…$2 million! Between that and all the crystals Spencer bought, no wonder the couple is broke!

The song I would specifically like to spotlight is titled, “Blackout.” It is said that this song is Heidi’s anthem to her love,  Spencer. I had trouble remembering my favises lyrics because I experienced an actual blackout while listening to the song for the first time. I braced myself and tried again.

Favises lyrics:

“I’m over the stories that we’ll never make it/When I think of losing you baby I hate it/Why can’t they see it’s between you and me?”

I feel like this song can compare to a person getting their significant others name tattooed on their arm or some extremely visible spot. To me, this jam is screaming, “we’ll be divorced in three to five years!” Remember J.Lo’s “Dear Ben“…it just ends in a disaster.

Moving on to the music video, you can totally tell Spencer was behind the camera. I’m not kidding…he directed this video. There really is no concept, its just Heidi rolling around on the beach and floating in a pool wearing her bikini. It’s basically a home movie. One part of the song that I would like clarification on is when Heidi states: “Black out the satellite, where should we run to?” Is that satellite connected to the GPS tracker Spencer had planted on Heidi? Just a thought!

I really want you to think before watching this. It will subtract 3 minutes and 29 seconds from your life.


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