Songs That Could Have Been

I always love hearing about songs that were originally offered to one artist and the other artist who was wise enough to take said jam and run all the way up the musical charts.

For example, did you know that Since You’ve Been Gone was originally offered to Hilary Duff, but Lil Lizze Mcguire turned that shit down. As we all know, Kelly Clarkson picked that up and it was a HUGE hit. I will say that I am a fan of H. Duff, but I can only imagine Clarkson conveying that deep, deep man rage.

Another example…Nicole Scherzinger was offered We Found Love but turned it down because she was “busy at the time.” Who’s wearing the regret cap now, eh Nicole?! 

There are tons of hit songs out there that were originally written for one artist and were scooped up by others. It’s like these pop singers sit around trading these songs like baseballs cards or something. Below is one song that fits this particular bill and the other two are just covers that I really like. Guess which one is which and you’ll win a prize!

Beyoncé – In Da Club

Remember when 50 Cent blew us out of the water with this song? Well shorty…just like every thing else…Beyonce did it better. Boom.

Britney Spears  - Telephone

While the Britney version is 98% autotuned…I obviously like this better than the GaGa version. You’re probably thinking “typical Kari response.” Well I don’t like change so…Britney forever!

Alanis Morissette – My Humps

Alanis has turned this upbeat, dance jam into a slow, slow jam that sounds like she wrote this crying alone in a dark room. I’m still waiting for someone to answer the question: What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?

About these ads

Happy Holiday!

No, I don’t mean Thanksgiving or Hanukkah…I mean the day Britney Spears was born!

Photo Courtesy: www.freefever.com

Photo Courtesy: http://www.freefever.com

Today is Britney’s 32nd birthday and I am so happy that Brit has made it another year. Let’s be real, it was getting a bit dicey back in 2007 : /

Anywho, I’m spending the evening celebrating with my cat. We are getting wild like it’s 2007!

Don’t forget, Britney Jean (Britney’s 8th studio album) is out tomorrow. I will be listening to it from 8:30 am until the early evening. Feel free to check in and get my opinion. Who are we kidding, I’ll probably say it’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.

Happy Birthday Brit! I love you.


The 5 Stages of a Breakup: Justin Timerberlake

Photo Courtesy: entertainment.ca.msn.com

Photo Courtesy: entertainment.ca.msn.com

There aren’t many topics that make me want to enter a heated debate, but I will argue with anyone on this planet about how Justin Timberlake still loves Britney Spears. Let’s be real, when you wear matching jean outfits in public, that’s eternal love.

If you listen to Justin’s new and old jams, you can clearly hear that he’s not over Britney. I am about to lay out the 5 stages of a breakup and show you in musical form how JT is still coping.

Please note: Some songs may not be in order of release. Everyone deals with grief differently, you know?

1. DenialWhat Goes Around…Comes Around was released around the same time that Britney was splitting up with K-Fed. Coincidence? I think not. I put this jam in the denial slot because even though Brit and JT broke up in 2002, he is still in denial about the fact that she cheated on him. It was a poor choice on her part, but she did apologize.

Justin sings Don’t want to think about it / Don’t want to talk about it / I’m just so sick about it / Can’t believe it’s ending this way. Poor guy.

2. Anger – Ok, we get it…Britney got with another dude, but did you have to find a girl who looks extremely similar to your ex for your music video? You get this one for free, Timberlake.

3. Bargaining – Cheating was a deal breaker for JT and he has definitely held his ground on that front. I give Brit the blame here, she should’ve picked honesty, then she may not have blown it. Please refer to song in stage 2.

4. Depression – Remember when Justin went on a musical hiatus from 2007 until 2012 to focus on his “acting?” He was actually in a dark room covered in Britney posters while drinking heavily. He wrote a song called Drink You Away where he states “I can’t drink you away.” Neither could Britney, boo.

5. Acceptance – Let’s be real, there is no acceptance where Britney is concerned. That flame will never burn out. Since my brain and heart cannot fathom that idea that Mirrors is about Jessica Biel, I will award Britney the point.

As you can see, I clearly have too much time on my hands. #TeamBritney


Music Videos Still Exist

I know MTV doesn’t care, but I love a good music video. Recently, a lot of entertaining ones have been released. I would like to share a few of my new favs.

23

Say hello to Mike WiLL Made-It – ft. Miley Cyrus, Juicy J & Wiz Khalifa. I honestly have no idea why I’m into this song. I really don’t even know what it’s about, but I find myself listening to it quite frequently.

I have actually thought about this being my theme song when I walk into places such as malls, grocery stores and even work. Anyways, my favorite part of the music video is watching Miley Cyrus be a BAMF.

Does anyone else want to sit on a basketball hoop and rap? I know I do.

Hold On, We’re Going Home

This music video mashes all of life’s most beautiful things: Drake, the year 1985 and A$AP Rocky. Watching this music video is like 7 minutes in heaven…really, the music video is 7 minutes long. It chronicles Drake saving his lady from a kidnapper. It’s really beautiful, you’ll see.

Does anyone else wish that Drake would dress like Miami Vice from now on?

Work Bitch

Obviously you had to see this one coming, right? I have to say, I really enjoyed watching this music video. It made me feel exotic, when in reality I was sitting on the couch with the cats.

I have a few favorite parts that I must share:

1. How do I get a vanity set in the desert? I would like to place mine approximately 2 feet from Brit’s. I’m trying to borrow that perfume.

2. Does the dancing scene with the gloves remind anyone of the Me Against the Music era?

3. God, Britney looks GREAT! The weave, dance moves and facial expressions are all in check.

Britney, I’m so, I’m so, I’m so proud of you.


It’s Britney Bitch…Again

Many people’s favorite time of year falls around the holiday season or the beginnings of summer. My favorite time is neither of those…it’s when Britney Spears releases new music.

As you may have guessed, that day is RIGHT NOW!

Before you listen to Brit’s new jam, I would like to say a few words. If you haven’t visited http://britneyspears.com in a while, the site has been displaying a countdown with the phrase All Eyes on Me. There has been much speculation as to what this countdown was counting towards. For a few days I thought it was for the Vegas tour announcement, but now I realize it’s for a NEW MUSIC VIDEO! If you can’t tell, I’m freaking out!

Here is what we have all been waiting for. It’s time to Work Bitch!

A few things I’ve learned/realized from this song:

  1. Britney loves using the word Bitch
  2. She must have some English roots, because Brit is really going British these days
  3. I need to start purchasing leotards to wear on casual friday

Lyrics to look out for: Go call the police / Go call the governor / I bring the trouble / That means the trouble y’all

Keep an eye out for Brit’s new music video. It will be revealed in 1 day, 11 hours, 56 minutes and  25 seconds. I mean 24 seconds. No wait 23 seconds. Jesus, you get the point.


Third Baby Mama a Charm for K-Fed?

That’s right, Kevin Federline has tied the knot again. He married his long-time lady Victoria Prince this past weekend at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas…typical.

The pair has been an item since 2008. They also have a child together… a little girl named Jordan Kay. I knew that, but I forgot because K-Fed has children sprawled out all over the U.S.A. He has two children with ex Shar Jackson and two with Britney Spears. I still curse the day those two met each other.

Anywho, can someone send me K-Fed’s address? I’d really like to send him a wedding gift. I’d also like to send him the 17-page strongly worded letter I wrote to him back in 2005 of all the ways he is a life ruiner.

While I wait for the address, I’d like to share this piece of K-Fed memorabilia. It’s his super cool rap music video for “Lose Control.”

Please note the following lyric: Don’t hate ‘cuz I’m a superstar and I married a superstar 

K-Fed, I still curse the day you were born.


If I Could Be Anyone For a Day…

Photo Courtesy: http://collegecandy.com/

Photo Courtesy: http://collegecandy.com/

There are many times throughout any given day where I think to myself, “I would like to be so and so for a day.” More times than I’d like to admit, I usually pick Britney. If I could pick a particular era, you know I’m heading straight back to 2007 to find out the real deal and then write a tell-all book.

Enough about Britney. If I could be any celebrity today, I would pick Katniss. I know she’s not an actual celebrity in this scenario, but she’s so damn cool. She’s got a sweet hair braid, a bow and arrow and can wear leather and not look ridiculous…all dreams of mine.

Lately, Katniss has been on my mind for several reasons:

  • I keep seeing the “Catching Fire” trailer.
  • Usually on Tuesdays, I think about what I would do if the “Hunger Games” broke out in my office. Step 1 – Monopolize the water cooler.
  • I’m currently reading the third book in the “Hunger Games” saga because it’s a free borrow from the Kindle Library. Thanks Amazon!
Photo Courtesy: www.fanpop.com

Photo Courtesy: http://www.fanpop.com

So now that you know who/why I would pick, the next question is what would I do for the day.

Well, first things first, I would braid my hair. After that, I would put on some leather pants, grab my bow and arrow and hit the concrete jungle known as Philadelphia. I’d probably go to a dangerous part of the city and try to catch criminals while yelling “I’m Katniss” every time I shoot an arrow. Then I would head to the office and show my coworkers how good I look in leather and whip my braid back and forth.

It doesn’t sound like I’m really living it up as Katniss, but if you know me, you know this is living it up in my book.

Start prepping yourself for November 21st, that’s when “Catching Fire” hits theaters. Look for me and my braid at the movies!

Spoiler Alert! Here is an article explaining some differences from the “Catching Fire” book and movie.


I’m Baaaaack!

I know, I know. It has been a long time. When I considered re-upping my blog, I was trying to think of some excuses as to why I stopped posting. Here is what I came up with:

1. I forgot my password.
2. I was in a year-long blackout.

That’s all I got. To be honest, the reason I chose today of all days is because my roommate is away and both the cats are sleeping. I have no one to talk to…so here we are.

This post is very important…it is my comeback post. Because of that, now is the time for me to discuss a few of the greatest celebrity comebacks.

3. Robert Downey Jr.

Robert Downey Jr.

Photo Courtesy: http://collider.com/

We all know about Downey’s struggles with drugs, prison, etc. I mean he did start acting when he was five years old, we should have seen this coming. He has since gotten his shit together, claiming that his family, therapy, meditation, twelve-step programs, yoga and the practice of Wing Chun Kung Fu helped him rise back to the top. Downey claims he has been drug-free since 2003…that sentence has campaign slogan written all over it and would get my vote. I’m into it.

2. Drew Barrymore

Photo Courtesy: curiosando708090.altervista.org

Another child star going down the wrong path. Doesn’t anyone see a pattern here? (I’m talking to you, Bieber). Anywho, Drew really hit the big time with her role as Gertie in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. As her star rose, shit got real. Drew revealed that she was a regular at Studio 54 where she smoked cigs, drank and ingested a boatload of drugs, all before she was technically a teenager. This led her to two stints in rehab and a bunch of embarrassing moments. After a bumpy ride back and an awkward marriage to Tom Green, Drew is now a new mom to Olive and married to Will Kopelman! You go girl.

1. Britney Spears

If you know me at all, you had to see this one coming. We all know about Brit’s trial and tribulations. Especially in the year 2007…when she was in a continuous blackout for that entire year. I don’t like to relive the pain she (and I) was in during that time. All I have to say is…God, she looks great and I’m mentally and physically prepping for Album #8.


I Haven’t Disappeared…

Hi friends,

Sorry I have been missing in action these past few days. I’ve been in the process of finishing up my master’s degree! Don’t believe me? I have the cap and gown to prove it : )

We will be back to our regular scheduled programming on Monday. Thank you all for being a friend.

And Britney…If you’re reading this…The graduation party will continue in the wee hours of the morning. Call me, I know you’re dying to get out.


Topless Tuesday

While I was cruising home this evening, I heard a song by a beautifully handsome gentleman that everyone knows the lyrics to…whether you want to admit it or not.

Hint: “Let me be your hero.”

Enrique Iglesias

Photo Courtesy: enriqueiglesias.ning.com

There are three things that pop into my mind when I hear Enrique’s name:

  1. Jennifer Love Hewitt screaming her face off in the music video for Enrique’s jam “Hero.”
  2. A beautiful beauty mark
  3. Leather pants

Enrique Miguel Iglesias Preysler graced us with his presence May 8, 1975. He was born in Madrid, Spain and you can never say no to a Spanish man.

Fun Facts about Enrique:

Photo Courtesy: enriqueiglesias.ning.com

  • He recorded his first demo tape on a cassette tape…remember those?
  • Enrique’s dad is Julio Iglesias…he’s sort of a famous Spanish singer…okay he’s really famous.
  • Enrique recorded his first album in Toronto
  • This handsome man has released a total of nine albums and had completed six world tours…seven if you count this summer’s tour with J.LO!
  • He’s been dating tennis star Anna Kournikova since 2001…no one really knows if they are a married or not…for the rest of womankind’s sake… hopefully not.
  • Enrique is a TV star…he has guest starred on “How I Met Your Mother” and “Two and a Half Men.”

Out of all of Enrique’s accomplishments, there is one Enrique moment that always sticks out in my mind as the best…ever. You can view it below:

You can probably guess why I deemed this Enrique’s best moment in the history of moments, but I will tell you anyways. He was so, so close to my spiritual goddess The Legendary Miss Britney Spears.

Enrique – See you in A.C. boo!

Love,

Kari


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 194 other followers