As you know, Tuesdays are typically meant to be topless…at least in my habitat. But this particular Tuesday is different. Why you ask? It’s the most dreaded time of year…Valentine’s Day. Dum, dum, dum.
I usually celebrate this holiday by playing bitter songs and heckling couples out my window. That hasn’t gone so well in the past, so I have decided to pour my bitterness onto my blog!
I thought the best way to effectively convey my bitterness was through song. Below are my personal favorite breakup/non demeaning to women songs that are perfect for all those lovers out there.
5. ‘Stronger’ – Britney Spears
Back in the day, Britney seemed more positive about love, but things change. After experiencing the most crushing breakup in the history of breakups and two marriages, Britney has been a card-carrying member of the bitter club since 2006. Out of the many songs my spiritual goddess has recorded, “Stronger” seems like the best jam to put on the Bitter Club soundtrack.
What I have learned from this jam: When you finally break up with that loser, you become stronger than yesterday and can bust out a sweet chair dance.
4. ‘Breakin’ Dishes’ – Rihanna
This song is epic for several reasons: I can get my dance on, I now know if my man is out until 3:30 a.m. I am legally allowed to break his dishes and burn his clothing and I don’t have to stop until I see police lights.
Rihanna – Thank you for this instruction manual.
3. ‘Never Again’ – Kelly Clarkson
What is a bitter countdown without the president of the bitter club…Miss Kelly Clarkson. I think one line in this song can sum it up better than I ever could: “I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green.” O0o0o burn.
What I have learned from Kelly over the years is that bitterness is like a baby, it grows with age.
2. ‘Bye Bye Bye’ – N’Sync
Since it’s only fair I give my male fans a jam to jam out to, I have chosen an oldie but a goodie. Yes, I’m bringing it all the way back to when Justin Timberlake had the fro…his best days <3
Hopefully, Justin will take his own advice and say bye, bye, bye to Jessica Biel…oops, can’t say that.
1. ‘Independent Women’ – Destiny’s Child
This song provides us ladies a very important lesson. If you can’t figure it out after watching the video…I’m afraid all hope is lost for you.
Happy Valentine’s Day…Take that Cupid.
In anticipation of seeing Kelly Clarkson this Sunday in AC (aka the Vegas of the East Coast), I have been listening to her new album “Stronger” along with some of her classics.
Since I am 84% bitter, Kelly and I get along quite well. Many of her singles are brewing with anger but they have an upbeat tempo. What’s the point of writing a man-hating/bitter/want to beat someone with a shoe kind of song if it sounds happy?
That’s where I come in. Kelly really didn’t let her bitter side show until her second album ” Breakaway.” That’s when it all came out.
I have listened to possibly every Clarkson song that she has released and I am here to give you the top four most bitter jams by the one and only American Idol.
Track #11 on “Breakaway” this hidden gem is Clarkson at her bitter best. She just wants someone (a man) to hear her. Snookin’ for love isn’t easy. After hearing this song, you will hear Kelly, her voice is amazing.
Favise lyrics: “Are you listening?”
Listed as lucky number six on “My December,” I think the title of this song says it all. If I ever meet the man who inspired Kelly to write these lyrics, I will roundhouse kick him in the face.
Favise lyrics: “Couldn’t believe, couldn’t believe/How you deceived, you deceived/I never thought you’d do that to me”
‘Let Me Down’
As you can probably tell by the title, it’s another uplifting jam by K. Clarkson that lands at track #11 on “Stronger.” I believe Kelly is talking about a potential bf and when she needs this man, he is not there for her. What a fool.
Favise lyrics: “The funny thing about forever/Is it comes with a side of never never” AND “You’re only gonna let me down/When it counts, you countdown”
Last but certainly not least, “Addicted” takes spot six on “Breakaway.” I have made a decision, decision made: “Addicted” is Kelly’s best song ever! The “American Idol” winner has since put out three albums and no song has come close to “Addicted.” If you listen to the lyrics, it probably explains why I’m afraid of commitment…oops can’t say that.
Favise lyrics: “It’s like you’re a drug”
Kelly- I hear your pain, girl! See you Sunday. Get ready for me to bum rush the stage <3
She’s back and she’s still bitter! Yesterday, Kelly Clarkson revealed her first single off of her next album, “Stronger.”
I will tell you that I am a Kelly fan, after all she is America’s Idol. The main reason why I am a fan is because she is so damn angry toward this man or men that she keeps singing about.
In all honesty, my favorite album was “My December.” I don’t understand why people didn’t love it as much as I did.
She was all the things we love…pissed off, angry and bitter. My favises song off this album was “Never Again.” The video is what really sold me. It’s basically Kelly haunting her ex, who has left her for another woman. Huge mistake there buddy.
Why it’s so great:
1. Kelly Clarkson has inspired me to wear a bra and a blazer…sans shirt
2. It’s the ultimate revenge song…you break up with Kelly, she will haunt you
3. I wouldn’t think it would suck to see Kelly’s face everywhere…I’d get the chance to ask for her autograph
Favises lyrics: “You wrote me in a letter/You couldn’t say it right to my face/Give me that Sunday school answer/Repent yourself away” AND “I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green”
I feel bad for the guy this song is about…it’s like Kelly wrote these lyrics as a letter and instead of snail mailing it to him, she just put it on a record because she could. That what people who are boss do.
Back to the point of this post. Since Clarkson released her new single via her website, I am obligated to share it with you. I like it. I think I liked it before I heard it, I mean it is called “Mr. Know It All.” You can tell it’s full of man-hating goodness. Click here to listen to “Mr. Know It All.”
Favises lyrics: “You don’t know a thing about me” – Damn right Kelly, you tell him!
See you on tour girl!