J.Lo Doesn’t Listen to You…You Listen to J.Lo…Part II

With the weekend coming to a close, I think you could use another J.Lo jam to get your spirits up before a case of the Mondays hit.

Photo Courtesy: stagevu.com

‘Jenny From The Block’

There are many, many reasons to the love this song/music video. Don’t worry, I’ll only be highlighting two:

1. Did you know that Jennifer is from the Bronx…more specifically the South-Side? Don’t feel bad if you didn’t…she reminds us every time the chorus hits.

2. One of my hobbies is reminiscing about celebrity couples from the past. J.Lo not only provided one of the greatest/awkward celebrity couples, but whored it out in the music video. Hint: Bennifer.

Even though this song is basically J.Lo telling everyone about all the great shit she has…I’m still into it. I like hearing about the rocks that she got and that she used to have a little, but now she has a lot.

Now lets discuss the most important aspect of this video…Bennifer. I have always wondered why Ben Affleck participated in this video…J.Lo must have really had his ass whipped.

I can only imagine the boatloads of harassment Affleck took after this video was released and especially after his engagement with the singer ended. I can practically hear Matt Damon asking Ben “Remember that time you slapped J.Lo’s ass on a yacht and it was in that music video?” Poor Ben.

One good thing about Bennifer…J.Lo really turned Ben from a scruffy dude to a leading Hollywood man who uses hair gel and wears expensive suits.

J.Lo – Thank you for getting Ben on point and prepping him for his next Jennifer…Garner that is.

Is this real life? Part III

Heidi Montag “Blackout”

Photo Courtesy: bittenandbound.com

For my final installment in the “Is this real life” series, I have chosen an infamous reality star turned (total) failed singer…Heidi Montag. While January 11, 2010 may have seemed like an ordinary day to you, it was a big deal in the Montage-Pratt household. Why you ask? Heidi’s compact disc “Superficial” dropped. The name seems more fitting after she got all that plastic surgery, right?

In my research, I have learned some fascinating things about this album:

  • “Superficial” took a whopping three years to complete
  • Spencer shows us his sweet rap skills on “Body Language.” Unfortunately this jam didn’t make it on to the album…bummer
  • It looks like it was all funded by Team Speidi and cost…wait for it…$2 million! Between that and all the crystals Spencer bought, no wonder the couple is broke!

The song I would specifically like to spotlight is titled, “Blackout.” It is said that this song is Heidi’s anthem to her love,  Spencer. I had trouble remembering my favises lyrics because I experienced an actual blackout while listening to the song for the first time. I braced myself and tried again.

Favises lyrics:

“I’m over the stories that we’ll never make it/When I think of losing you baby I hate it/Why can’t they see it’s between you and me?”

I feel like this song can compare to a person getting their significant others name tattooed on their arm or some extremely visible spot. To me, this jam is screaming, “we’ll be divorced in three to five years!” Remember J.Lo’s “Dear Ben“…it just ends in a disaster.

Moving on to the music video, you can totally tell Spencer was behind the camera. I’m not kidding…he directed this video. There really is no concept, its just Heidi rolling around on the beach and floating in a pool wearing her bikini. It’s basically a home movie. One part of the song that I would like clarification on is when Heidi states: “Black out the satellite, where should we run to?” Is that satellite connected to the GPS tracker Spencer had planted on Heidi? Just a thought!

I really want you to think before watching this. It will subtract 3 minutes and 29 seconds from your life.

Jenny Going Back to the Block?

Photo Courtesy youfrenzy.com

Yes, the rumors are true; J.Lo and Marc Anthony are getting the big D (divorce). After seven glorious years, which included twin babies, the highly acclaimed film “El Cantante” and a duet that I don’t understand one word of – this power couple is no longer.

Let’s take it back to a time where J.Lo was just exiting one of her more popular romances known as “Bennifer.” Once her and Ben Affleck finally noticed that it was just plain awkward that they were an item and decided to end it, J.Lo wasted no time. A little less than two months after her split from Ben, J.Lo was seen with Marc Anthony! (gasp)

As for Marc’s side in this, let’s remember he was a married man. Marc and his wife at the time, Dayanara Torres decided to separate in 2003. Marc and  Torres were officially divorced in June 2004. Marc and J.Lo were married just four days later. Homewrecker anyone?

Even after kissing and practically marrying all those damn frogs, I was sure that J.Lo had finally found her prince charming. Welp, the world has been blindsided once again. We the people have found out that J.Lo and her man are separating.

A joint statement released by the couple stated:

“We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters. It is a painful time for all involved, and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time.”

J.Lo, I still can’t forget you and Ja Rule singing that song “I’m Real.” Maybe you could be real with Ja Rule? I’m not sure if he’s in jail, but I’m sure you could work around that. Team J.Lo 4ever

Remember When…

Now is the time of year when students are graduating and heading off into the “real world.” Right before graduating from college, my friends and I would reminisce by kicking around our favorite “Remember Whens.” In honor of all the graduating students, we want to share our favorite celebrity remember whens.

Remember when Paris, Lindsay, and Britney were friends?

Photo Courtesy Daily Mail

Towards the end of 2006, Britney Spears was single and ready to mingle. Spears teamed up with Paris Hilton, who was known for dancing on tables and Lindsay Lohan who was a veteran to the party scene. It was the hot mess express coming through.

The girls were seen at clubs, cruising around all night and showing up at celebrity hot spots like the Beverly Hills Hotel. While many expected this behavior from Hilton and Lohan, many were surprised to see Spears alongside them. She is a mother of two boys. Sadly, the dream team couldn’t last forever. Spears ended up in rehab and in an emotional blackout, Hilton was thrown into the slammer, and Lohan was incarcerated and tossed into rehab!

Remember when Ben Affleck was going to marry J.Lo?

Photo Courtesy MTV.UK

We all recall when Ben Affleck tried to fool us by marrying Jennifer Lopez. I’m not saying he wasn’t good enough for her, but their relationship felt weird. Dubbed by the media as “Bennifer” the couple attracted worldwide media attention when they began dating in 2002. Meeting on the set of “GiGi,” the couple was soon engaged and set to marry in September of 2003. A few hours before the ceremony, the wedding was called off and they officially split in January 2004.

We have to give it to these two; they did last longer than anyone ever imagined. J.Lo made sure we would remember “Bennifer” forever. Affleck made a cameo appearance in her “Jenny from the Block” video and she even wrote a song for her man, titled “Dear Ben.” A classy slow jam, J.Lo proclaims lyrics such as “I love you, you’re perfect/a manifestation of my dreams.” I bet Affleck’s current wife, Jennifer Garner isn’t a fan of “American Idol” anymore.

Remember When Ashlee Simpson got caught lip-syncing on SNL?

Photo Courtesy People.com

In 2004, Ashlee Simpson, sister of Jessica, was the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live,” the keyword being live. Simpson was set to perform a different song, but “Pieces of Me” started playing instead. Suddenly the audience heard Simpson singing but she wasn’t moving her lips! Gasp!

When Simpson realized what happened, she began to move awkwardly and then just walked off stage. Cut to the end of “Saturday Night Live,” Simpson and host, Jude Law, attempted to smooth this over. “What can I say it’s live TV,” said Law, while Simpson tried to blame her band. This was the beginning of the end of Simpson’s music career.

While there are thousands of “Remember Whens” that could be shared, here are just a few of my favorites. Here’s to looking forward to many more celebrity moments that we won’t forget. Remember celebrities, we are watching.


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