J.Lo Doesn’t Listen to You…You Listen to J.Lo…Part II

With the weekend coming to a close, I think you could use another J.Lo jam to get your spirits up before a case of the Mondays hit.

Photo Courtesy: stagevu.com

‘Jenny From The Block’

There are many, many reasons to the love this song/music video. Don’t worry, I’ll only be highlighting two:

1. Did you know that Jennifer is from the Bronx…more specifically the South-Side? Don’t feel bad if you didn’t…she reminds us every time the chorus hits.

2. One of my hobbies is reminiscing about celebrity couples from the past. J.Lo not only provided one of the greatest/awkward celebrity couples, but whored it out in the music video. Hint: Bennifer.

Even though this song is basically J.Lo telling everyone about all the great shit she has…I’m still into it. I like hearing about the rocks that she got and that she used to have a little, but now she has a lot.

Now lets discuss the most important aspect of this video…Bennifer. I have always wondered why Ben Affleck participated in this video…J.Lo must have really had his ass whipped.

I can only imagine the boatloads of harassment Affleck took after this video was released and especially after his engagement with the singer ended. I can practically hear Matt Damon asking Ben “Remember that time you slapped J.Lo’s ass on a yacht and it was in that music video?” Poor Ben.

One good thing about Bennifer…J.Lo really turned Ben from a scruffy dude to a leading Hollywood man who uses hair gel and wears expensive suits.

J.Lo – Thank you for getting Ben on point and prepping him for his next Jennifer…Garner that is.

About these ads

Ben & Jen Welcome Baby #3

Photo Courtesy: inquisitr.com

Soul mates Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck welcomed their third baby this week. The couple revealed they were expecting their third child back in August, but kept the gender under wraps.

Now we know that big sisters Violet, 6 and Seraphina, 3 have a little brother! While the baby’s name has not been released yet, I have a feeling the couple won’t go the traditional route and name the little guy Ben Jr. I’m taking bets…Kari needs a new pair of shoes.

Congrats to Ben and Jen…as I said before, I’m available to babysit whenever you need!

*Ben Affleck revealed on his Facebook page yesterday…”We are happy to announce that on February 27, Jennifer gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Samuel Garner Affleck.” I endorse this.


Celebrity Top 3

Kate Winslet – Superhero

Photo Courtesy: people.com

Even though she was already a superhero in my eyes, Kate Winslet has made it officially okay to walk around this Earth with a cape on for the rest of her life.

The Academy Award winner was taking some much deserved time off with her children and her new bf (Leo, he’s just a fill-in until you are ready). They were vacationing at Richard Branson’s Caribbean home, Great House on Necker Island.

Branson stated that the fire broke out around 4 a.m. during a tropical storm. Kate, Louis (her bf) and her children Mia and Joe all made it out unharmed. Along with the Winslet clan, there were 16 others staying at the Branson house. The culprit – lighting is to blame for completely destroying the home.

So why is Kate a superhero in all of this? Well, she carried Eve, Branson’s 90-year-old mother out of the burning house! Winslet told The Sun, “I’m just so glad that everyone is safe. And this very easily could not have been the case.”

I have made a decision, decision made: Kate Winslet must be a bionic woman. Not only does she carry people out of burning buildings, she also can swim her heart out and survive in sub-zero temperatures…remember that boat she was on that sank?

Kate – you are officially my favises superhero. Keep saving lives and keep winning Oscars.

A third Mini Affleck is on the way!

Photo Courtesy: midnightdresses.com

This week Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck told the world that they are having baby number tres (check out my bilingual skills). A very surprising but exciting announcement!

Now I have to hand it to Jennifer. This is her third baby! That means this is her third time being pregnant. I always make the mistake of watching those shows on birthing children and they scare the living daylights out of me. I always think to myself, “you don’t come back from that.” Discovery Health channel likes to make every woman on Earth paranoid and televise shows like, “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant.” I am about three episodes away from starting a petition to stop this show from ruining lives! No woman wants to sit there and think, “Am I pregnant right now?” Holy crow!

Okay, done with that tirade. The 3rd mini Affleck is expected to arrive in January or February. The Affleck’s are said to be “thrilled” to be expecting their third child. I wonder if they will finally get a Ben Jr. or stick with the lady gender. I really think this world could use a mini Ben Affleck…Suri Cruise will one day be looking for a husband.

Jennifer – In the fall, I am taking a class called Event Planning. By the time you are ready for your baby shower, I will be fully trained. I’ll send you my business card. Congrats!

Lohan rebuffs Pitbull

Photo Courtesy: weheartit.com

Lindsay Lohan has lawyer’d up. Why? Because Pitbull has a single out right now called, “Give Me Everything.” I’m sure you have heard it; it’s played approximately every 4.3 minutes somewhere in the world. There is one particular phrase that mentions the one, the only…Lindsay Lohan. The line is as follows: “I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan.”

Well I guess Lindsay didn’t take this as a complement and she decided to file a lawsuit against Pitbull! Apparently Lohan and her legal team are claiming that this is defaming her character and blah, blah, blah. Lindsay, remember that time you were, in fact, locked up? I remember, I even won $18 in my office pool for guessing what day you would be released.

My favorite part of this tale is when Lindsay was at Kim Kardashian’s wedding and the band played this exact song! It was reported that many of Kim’s guests got up and danced, but Lindsay remained a Debbie Downer and stayed seated…boo you whore.

In an attempt to smooth things over, Pitbull has invited Lindsay to this Sunday’s VMAs, where he will be performing “Give Me Everything.” According to MTV.com, Pitbull states, “But either [way], I said, ‘You know what? Performing it at the VMAs, would like to invite her out,’ ” he continued. “And anybody who knows my reputation [knows I] don’t do no publicity stunts. I’m not really about none of that. … So I said it, I meant it, and if she takes it, great. If she doesn’t, cool. But she will have her tickets at will call.”

I don’t understand…Lindsay sues this beautiful Cuban man and still gets a date out of the deal. Ugh. Lindsay, please don’t sue me…I own nothing.


Jenny Going Back to the Block?

Photo Courtesy youfrenzy.com

Yes, the rumors are true; J.Lo and Marc Anthony are getting the big D (divorce). After seven glorious years, which included twin babies, the highly acclaimed film “El Cantante” and a duet that I don’t understand one word of – this power couple is no longer.

Let’s take it back to a time where J.Lo was just exiting one of her more popular romances known as “Bennifer.” Once her and Ben Affleck finally noticed that it was just plain awkward that they were an item and decided to end it, J.Lo wasted no time. A little less than two months after her split from Ben, J.Lo was seen with Marc Anthony! (gasp)

As for Marc’s side in this, let’s remember he was a married man. Marc and his wife at the time, Dayanara Torres decided to separate in 2003. Marc and  Torres were officially divorced in June 2004. Marc and J.Lo were married just four days later. Homewrecker anyone?

Even after kissing and practically marrying all those damn frogs, I was sure that J.Lo had finally found her prince charming. Welp, the world has been blindsided once again. We the people have found out that J.Lo and her man are separating.

A joint statement released by the couple stated:

“We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters. It is a painful time for all involved, and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time.”

J.Lo, I still can’t forget you and Ja Rule singing that song “I’m Real.” Maybe you could be real with Ja Rule? I’m not sure if he’s in jail, but I’m sure you could work around that. Team J.Lo 4ever


Remember When…

Now is the time of year when students are graduating and heading off into the “real world.” Right before graduating from college, my friends and I would reminisce by kicking around our favorite “Remember Whens.” In honor of all the graduating students, we want to share our favorite celebrity remember whens.

Remember when Paris, Lindsay, and Britney were friends?

Photo Courtesy Daily Mail

Towards the end of 2006, Britney Spears was single and ready to mingle. Spears teamed up with Paris Hilton, who was known for dancing on tables and Lindsay Lohan who was a veteran to the party scene. It was the hot mess express coming through.

The girls were seen at clubs, cruising around all night and showing up at celebrity hot spots like the Beverly Hills Hotel. While many expected this behavior from Hilton and Lohan, many were surprised to see Spears alongside them. She is a mother of two boys. Sadly, the dream team couldn’t last forever. Spears ended up in rehab and in an emotional blackout, Hilton was thrown into the slammer, and Lohan was incarcerated and tossed into rehab!

Remember when Ben Affleck was going to marry J.Lo?

Photo Courtesy MTV.UK

We all recall when Ben Affleck tried to fool us by marrying Jennifer Lopez. I’m not saying he wasn’t good enough for her, but their relationship felt weird. Dubbed by the media as “Bennifer” the couple attracted worldwide media attention when they began dating in 2002. Meeting on the set of “GiGi,” the couple was soon engaged and set to marry in September of 2003. A few hours before the ceremony, the wedding was called off and they officially split in January 2004.

We have to give it to these two; they did last longer than anyone ever imagined. J.Lo made sure we would remember “Bennifer” forever. Affleck made a cameo appearance in her “Jenny from the Block” video and she even wrote a song for her man, titled “Dear Ben.” A classy slow jam, J.Lo proclaims lyrics such as “I love you, you’re perfect/a manifestation of my dreams.” I bet Affleck’s current wife, Jennifer Garner isn’t a fan of “American Idol” anymore.

Remember When Ashlee Simpson got caught lip-syncing on SNL?

Photo Courtesy People.com

In 2004, Ashlee Simpson, sister of Jessica, was the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live,” the keyword being live. Simpson was set to perform a different song, but “Pieces of Me” started playing instead. Suddenly the audience heard Simpson singing but she wasn’t moving her lips! Gasp!

When Simpson realized what happened, she began to move awkwardly and then just walked off stage. Cut to the end of “Saturday Night Live,” Simpson and host, Jude Law, attempted to smooth this over. “What can I say it’s live TV,” said Law, while Simpson tried to blame her band. This was the beginning of the end of Simpson’s music career.

While there are thousands of “Remember Whens” that could be shared, here are just a few of my favorites. Here’s to looking forward to many more celebrity moments that we won’t forget. Remember celebrities, we are watching.


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 192 other followers