Hey! Where was my invite?

With the upcoming Kardashian-Humphries nuptials on the horizon, it got me thinking about all the celebrity wedding invitations that were apparently lost in the mail. Here is my list of invitations that I wish the postal service didn’t lose (because I’m 100% sure I was invited).

Khloe Kardashian & Lamar Odom

Photo Courtesy: people.com

September 27th has become a national holiday in my home. It is the day that my favises Kardashian sister got hitched (whoop, whoop) after only a month of dating! Dreams do come true. The world thought that Kim was going to be the first to get married and we all know how badly she wanted some man, any man to put a ring on it.

While it wasn’t looking good for Kim, the spotlight fell on older sis Kourtney. From what we have seen on “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” I sure hope Kourtney doesn’t tie that knot. I will even go as far as hoofing it to the nearest church and lighting a candle for her. So the point goes to Khloe! Since E! documents every sneeze that the K-Dash sisters emit, we had to expect a Khloe & Lamar wedding special…a 2-hour special as a matter of fact.

Why I’m angry my invite was lost in the mail:

  • All of the Kardashians were in the same area – including Rob. <3
  • A bunch of other celebs were in attendance, including Chelsea Handler, Kobe Bryant and Kelly Osbourne. I could have done some serious networking.
  • There was a Hollywood nightclub-theme reception that Babyface sang at!

Mr. & Mrs. Hova

Photo Courtesy: examiner.com

April 4, 2008 – the union to end all unions occurred. After 6 years of being bf & gf, Jay-Z liked it and finally put a ring on it! With about 40 guests in attendance, this was one event that I wish I knew about. I only needed a two hour notice, the ceremony was a stones throw away in New York!

I should have seen the clues. The day of the wedding there was a tent erected on the roof of Jay-Z’s penthouse, around 60,000 orchid blooms were delivered and DJ Cassidy even spilled some of the beans. According to People.com, “Cassidy mentioned a week ago that he was really excited for Jay Z and Beyoncé’s wedding party to happen, said another source.” Dammit.

Why I’m angry my invite was lost in the mail:

  • All three Destiny’s Child members were in attendance. I bet they sang “Independent Women Part I.” Side note, I’m still waiting for my acceptance letter to Charlie’s Angels Boot Camp.
  • I could have made the Hova symbol all evening without being judged or kicked out.
  • It’s always a wonderful site when Jay-Z straps on a tux.

Britney Spears & Jason Alexander

Photo Courtesy: idolator.com

Let’s be real, I had to include it! While I felt that many believed that this was the start of her downward spiral, I will have to disagree. I am convinced the spiral began when B. Spears and he who shall not be named broke up (hint…lead singer of boy band ‘N Sync). But that is neither here, nor there.

Anywho, January 3, 2004 the Little White Wedding Chapel on the Vegas Strip received a gift from above. Britney Spears and childhood friend, Jason Alexander busted in and got hitched. Don’t worry, the newlyweds scooped up a marriage license at the Clark County Marriage Bureau for $55.

Dear Jamie Spears, since you weren’t available to walk Brit down the aisle, a hotel bellman hopped in your place. No big deal. Britney’s wedding attire included a classy baseball hat, belly shirt and jeans. After the ceremony, a night full of sin ensued. Sadly, 55 hours later the marriage was annulled…boo.

Why I’m angry my invite was lost in the mail:

  • Who in their right mind wouldn’t want to have witnessed this?
  • The wedding cost a grand total of $200, which included photos, a bouquet and video. That’s a steal compared the what K-Fed cost her.
  • The marriage took place at 5:30 a.m. That’s the best part of a night on the town!

Britney – I would have given my left arm to have been present at this wedding. Next time, call me girl. I know you have my digits, I’ve sent them to you a handful of times.

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