By now you should know that Tuesdays are officially Topless…I even wrote an official memo, licked a stamp and sent it to the President. Still waiting to hear back Barack…
Anywho…without further ado.
This past weekend my roommates and I watched the movie “Duplicity,” starring Julia Roberts and the handsome, handsome Clive Owen. Since the actor whips his shirt off many times during the two-hour film, I decided to share the wealth and post this topless beauty on my blog!
Even though Clive is a tad older than me…23 years older to be exact…I’m not ashamed to admit that I would do questionable things if I was ever in his orbit. Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t either…he’s from the UK for Christ’s sakes. Accents get most, if not all, women every damn time…that’s one of the four things I have learned from reading Cosmo month after month.
Clive’s career began with television roles and on the stage. Being in the acting game since 1987, it wasn’t until 1991 when Clive really turned heads with the film “Close My Eyes.” The film portrayed a brother and sister who were having a love affair. If that’s not a head turner…wait till you hear this gem! Clive did a full-frontal nude scene for the film…yea, that would turn my head too.
Mr. Owen has been in many films, TV shows and stage productions, but I want to highlight my favise Clive film to date…”Derailed.” This was my first Clive experience and besides starring Jennifer “prettier than Angelina” Aniston, this film is the definition of the term mind blow. Since I don’t want to spill the beans, I won’t go into the plot at all, but after you see the film you will be derailed along with Clive and Jennifer.
Sadly, Clive has a wife in real life…her name is Sarah-Jane Fenton and they have been married since 1995. If that isn’t bad enough, the couple has two daughters…Hannah and Eve.
Guess there is no hope for this bitch, but if “Derailed” tells me anything…
Clive – Call a lady!
Since I have been lacking in my half-naked men duties this week, I have decided to showcase a gentleman that I’ve been saving for a special occasion.
Let me start out by saying thank you to Canada. While that may sound weird…just wait…I have a good reason. Canada has produced some wonderfully good-looking men. For example: Drake, Joshua Jackson and the oh-so-beautiful Ryan Thomas Gosling.
Hailing from London, Ontario, Ryan was born Nov. 12, 1980. School was rough for lil Ryan…he was bullied and (if you can imagine) had no friends until he was a teenager : (
Fun fact: After seeing the film “First Blood,” Ryan brought steak knives to school and threw them at his classmates during recess. Obviously, lil Ryan was suspended for that one.
Starting from an early age, Ryan loved to perform . He was even involved in ballet classes which boosted his confidence. So precious.
Ryan got his start in the entertainment business on the “Mickey Mouse Club.” He moved to Orlando for two years and even lived with cast member Justin Timberlake for a period of time.
After the “Mickey Mouse Club” was cancelled in 1995, Gosling hoofed it back to Canada and continued to take on small roles. Officially dropping out of school at 17 and vowing only to take on serious roles at the age of 19, Ryan really jump started his career. He nabbed a supporting role in “Remember the Titans” and made waves with his performances in “The Believer” and “Murder by Numbers” which co-stared Sandra Bullock.
At this point, Gosling was still under the radar, but a little film released in 2004 titled “The Notebook” got everyone’s attention. I really don’t think I have to elaborate here.
In 2007, Ryan starred in one of my favorite Gos-Gos films…”Lars and the Real Girl.” The movie did horrible at the box office, so bad it didn’t even break-even. I don’t understand this…Ryan’s character dates a sex doll…who wouldn’t pay to see that?
Since Gosling isn’t busy enough, he is also one-half of the indie rock group Dead Man’s Bones.
Last but not least…Ryan has dated many high-profile Hollywood ladies. Let’s make a list:
- Sandra Bullock
- Rachel McAdams (soul mates)
- Kat Dennings
- Blake Lively
- Olivia Wilde
- Eva Mendes (his current lady)
At this point, Mr. Gosling is showing no signs of slowing down. He has many films on deck and plans to release a second album with his band.
I think he’s hustling for that “Sexiest Man Alive” title that was wrongfully stolen from him…yep still mad about that one!
Remember Jared Leto? Did you know he’s 40-years-old? Mind blow, right? I guess 40 really is the new 28.
The other day Jared popped into my mind so I creeped the Interweb for updates on the singer/actor. I noticed that he was voted GQ’s “Worst Dressed Man in the World” last year. In the whole entire world? Really?
After looking at some of the pictures I get it. He did wear a mesh tank top that one time. You never know though, he could be colorblind or something.
Why does Jared Leto deserve more credit?
Leto can actually act
Along with being beautiful, Jared Leto is an accomplished actor. Many were probably introduced to Jared on “My So-Called Life” where he played Jordan Catalano…Claire Danes’ love interest.
In 1998, Jared starred in “Urban Legend” with Joshua Jackson <3 This film is the definition of a typical horror movie. A crazed killer comes on a college campus and murders a bunch of people. The running theme throughout this movie was …Urban Legends….duh.
Jared was also a member of “Fight Club” and was a good friend to “Alexander.”
My favise Jared Leto film has to be “Requiem for a Dream.” It involves drugs, addiction and game shows…all the makings of a great movie.
Jared went to extreme lengths to play Harry Goldfarb. He lived on the streets of NYC and abstained from being intimate with his (now ex) fiancee…Cameron Diaz…remember when they were engaged?
After shooting the film, Leto moved to Portugal, lived in a monastery, gained some weight and shaved his head.
Even though he has some unique traits, Leto successfully went from the movie screen to the concert stage. This is important because many actors try and miserably fail to make the transition. For example, John Corbett, Brian Austin Green and Jennifer Love Hewitt have all tried to make their musical presence known. In reality, we don’t need to know.
Jared is an exception to this rule. He founded the rock band 30 Seconds to Mars in 1998 with his brother Shannon.
The band has a total of three albums, but it wasn’t until 2005 when I took notice. That year, their second album “A Beautiful Lie” was released and went platinum.
I never expected that sound to come out of his mouth.
He’s a giver
Jared and his band mates have worked with such organizations as Amnesty International, Habitat for Humanity, the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center, the Red Cross and did much philanthropic work for disaster relief in Haiti.
So beautiful and equally as caring. I bet Cameron is pissed she let this one go!
Jared – No matter what your hair color, you are beautiful to me. I’m even into the eye makeup. Instead of the mesh tanks…just go topless! Love, Kari
Ahh the first Topless Tuesday of 2012…I bet you’re happy you made it another year. I put a lot of time into thinking about the first topless man of the year. This decision will set the tone for the next 362 days! That’s a big commitment and I am terrified of those.
In preparation for this post, I wrote out a list of possible men with a number 2 pencil, I lost sleep thinking about all the topless men and I found a fourth gray hair in my left eyebrow because the stress was so immense.
So drumroll please…
Wentworth Earl Miller III has a lot more to offer than just his pretty face, pretty arms, pretty eyes…pretty everything.
Mr. Miller was born in Chipping Norton, Oxfordshire, England June 2, 1972. The first thing I did today was petition the federal government to make his bday a national holiday. Cross your fingers!
When Wentworth was 1-year-old, his parents moved to Brooklyn, NY. After graduating high school in Pittsburgh, Miller attended Princeton University and obtained a degree in English lit.
He’s good-looking and super smart…where are all these men hiding?
After graduating from college, Miller hauled ass to Los Angeles in 1995 to pursue his acting dreams. At first, Wentworth had a rough time reaching fame.
He caught a break in 1998 and landed his first TV role as Gage Petronzi on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” (Attention Netflix subscribers: the episode is called “Go Fish” from Season 2.) As for his first movie role, Wentworth played Young Coleman Silk in “The Human Stain.”
2005 was Wentworth’s lucky year…he was cast as Michael Scofield on “Prison Break.” The show is exactly how the title describes it. Miller played this character for four glorious seasons and sadly the show was taken off the air.
I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch it while it was on TV. I watched the entire series online and really feel I am capable of breaking out of a maximum security prison…Thank you Wentworth!
Wentworth has said of the experience, “Mariah’s an international icon. The two days I spent working on her video did more for my career, gave me more exposure, than anything I had done before “Prison Break.” I’m grateful for the opportunity.”
These days Wentworth is busy being good-looking. Along with that, he shot a film this past summer called “The Loft” and was supposedly starring in a new ABC drama called “Identity.” I haven’t heard anything recently, so let’s start the “Get Wentworth Back on TV” campaign.
Wentworth – You’re beautiful, it’s true. Call me, text me, page me…I’m available.
Attention: Please read all the way through before you report me to WordPress. On the occasional Tuesday, I will now share with you some of my favise topless gentlemen!
Before I started graduate school, I worked full-time…shocking, right? Even though we didn’t have a suggestion box, I always thought of hilarious things to suggest for the office. One of those suggestions was to have Topless Tuesday. Obviously that dream did not fly…but since I am the boss of this blog…all of my dreams can come true!
FYI…this post is for the ladiesssss!
Isaiah Mustafa aka The Man Your Man Could Smell Like
This fine looking man entered the world Feb. 11, 1974. I guess Portland, Oregon knows how to breed some good looking men because that is where Isaiah was born. Actually I don’t know of anyone else from Portland so if you do…please holla at me!
Bouncing from Portland to Arizona, Isaiah attended Arizona State University for college. The future Old Spice guy studied history, joined the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity and played on the Arizona State Sun Devils football team. He’s so dreamy.
After college was over, Isaiah bounce around to various practice squads in the NFL and he even did a stint on the Barcelona Dragons.
Fun Fact: Isaiah won $47,000 on “The Weakest Link.”
After the NFL dream kinda died out, Isaiah tried his hand at acting, gaining various small parts on TV. Our topless man hit the jackpot in 2010 when he was cast in “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like” ad campaign for Old Spice.
One out of the thousands of reasons why I chose Isaiah for Topless Tuesday was because he emerged victorious in the “Mano a Mano in el Baño” challenge versus Fabio. You must be suave to beat Fabio…have you ever seen his I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter commercials?
Isaiah is now starting to hit the big screen. He appeared in “Horrible Bosses” and signed a talent deal with NBC.
Isaiah – Looking forward to see you doing great, great things in your career…topless of course!
You remember Jack McPhee…umm I mean Kerr Van Cleve Smith (what a name), right?
I was introduced to Kerr during season two of “Dawson’s Creek.” He played the shy/awkward, but irresistibly cute young gentleman who rescued Joey Potter from the venus fly trap also known as Dawson Leery.
Before I go into a Dawson Leery induced rage blackout, let’s do a little background on Kerr. Born in 1972 and raised in Exton, PA, which is around 30 miles from Philadelphia, Kerr decided to attend the University of Vermont. The dark-haired beauty obtained a degree in accounting (bless his heart…accounting is the devil’s work).
1996 was when Kerr began his acting career. His first gig was where many stars have began their career…daytime soaps…duh! Kerr shined in 24 episodes of “As The World Turns,” playing Teddy/Ellison ‘Ryder’ Hughes. Sadly, Kerr’s soap run ended in 1997.
1998 brought Kerr the gig that he is most well known for, even today…in my opinion. The gig I’m referring to is Jack McPhee on “Dawson’s Creek.” Appearing in a total of 113 episodes, Kerr’s character is credited with the very first gay kiss on television. Point Kerr.
A film you make recognize the “Dawson’s Creek” alum from is “Final Destination.” Spoiler Alert: I’m about 87.5% sure Kerr’s character (Carter Horton) kicks the bucket at the end…boo.
Along with being a certified pilot, Kerr was the very last celebrity to be “Punk’d” on that show Ashton Kutcher used to be on. Kerr also had a wife… Harmoni Everett. These two lovers were married in 2003, but filed for divorce in 2009.
I thought there was a Kerr Smith comeback looming on the horizon with The CW’s show “Life Unexpected.” Starring along Shiri Appleby (another WB alum) this show only lasted 26 episodes. Sad face.
So where in the world is Kerr now…he recently made a two episode cameo on “NCIS.” That’s all she wrote…for now.
Kerr – I’m single and ready to mingle…looks like you are too. I really dig your salt & pepper hair…call me.
Even though I graduated from a catholic high school, I’ve been continually told that I am going to hell in a handbasket. I just don’t understand why they charge all that cash money to go to catholic school if they don’t give you a “Going to Heaven” voucher.
Anywho, in preparation for my trip to the hot tropical island they call hell, I’ve been thinking about what celebrities I will most likely bump into on my “vacation.”
Disclaimer: I’m not saying these celebrities are definitely going to hell, just that I might bump into them. Please don’t sue; my counsel is still in law school.
First of all, I feel like I’ve been living a lie. Did anyone else know Tommy Lee’s last name was Bass? I wonder if he has any relation to the Bass that was in pop supergroup ‘Nsync…
Anywho, this strapping middle-aged man has fulfilled the quota of things to accomplish in order to be ordained a “bad boy.”
- Tommy was in a rock band…Mötley Crüe
- 84.7% of his body is covered in tattoos
- He’s been divorced three times (on par with J.Lo). Ex wives include: Elaine Bergen, Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson
- Served 4 months in the big house for pleading no contest to kicking (not kidding) Pam while she was holding one of their children
- The final nail in the bad boy coffin…the leaked sex tape
Since I plan on partying for all eternity, it would be good to have someone like Tommy Lee around. I’m sure he can throw a kickass social gathering and I wouldn’t mind looking at Tommy till the end of time.
Hailing from Oak Park, Illinois, we all know Kathy as the comedian who makes a living by ripping celebrities to shreds. Make no mistake, Kathy has paid her dues and you can read about every single one in the autobiographical tale, “Official Book Club Selection.”
Kathy has gotten herself into some hot water by flapping those gums. She basically says whatever she wants…that’s why I love her. A few of the controversies Kathy has stirred up include:
- A ban from “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” and being rebanned from “The View”
- Getting fired from red-carpet interviewing duties by E!. The D-List star made a remark about Dakota Fanning entering rehab…at age 11. That was obviously a joke…no need to get fired over.
- I think what really put the icing on the devil’s cake for Kathy was her 2007 Emmy acceptance speech. The comedians reality show, “My Life on the D-List” made her Emmy dreams come true. Kathy stated, “a lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn’t help me a bit…” Def not the way to get through those pearly gates.
Kathy – I LOL at everything that you do. Don’t let the haters bring you down.
I fully believe this man inspired Britney’s lyrics for her cameo on Rihanna’s “S&M (Remix).” The part I’m referring to is when she sings “Just one night full of sin/Feel the pain on your skin.” Why do I say this?
Remember that time back in 2003 when these two lovebirds were spotted together. While Colin said “we’re just mates and we’re not dating,” that doesn’t mean other things didn’t occur.
Besides that, Colin has a few more indiscretions on his record:
- Propositioning Dame Eileen Atkins for sex. Mind you, she was 70 at the time. She turned him down and Colin has no shame admitting this
- A stint in rehab for his addiction to pain killers, among other drugs
- Filming a movie with his ex-girlfriend, Nicole Narain that was supposed to be private (wink, wink). When are they going to learn, these things never stay private. Colin ended up suing Narain for allegedly leaking the tape
- Farrell was also sued two times for sending demeaning messages to Dessarae Bradford. Did I mention what Dessarae’s occupation was? She was/is a “telephone sex worker”
Colin – I certainty wouldn’t mind running into you while in hell. Hopefully we will both be at the bar. If you decide to buy me a drink…I won’t say no and I won’t bring up the time you harassed a telephone sex worker.