Well, it looks like the party is officially over. Just 19 months after birthing her first child Lorenzo, Snooki…I mean Nicole Polizzi has announced she is with child number 2.
Snooks announced her pregnancy via her website, saying “Jionni and I are so excited to confirm that we are expecting our second child! Now knowing that our test results are good and our baby is healthy, we can finally talk about it!”
This is the third and final nail in the coffin that was Snooki. The first nail was getting pregs with baby number 1. The second nail was Snooki’s announcement that she didn’t want to be called Snooki anymore. Ugh. The third nail is this second pregnancy announcement. Things will never be the same. I’m heartbroken.
I know I should be happy for Snooks and Jionni, but I miss the old Snooki who wondered “where’s the beach?” and drank until her legs wouldn’t work. Am I the only one that misses those days?! So with this post, I would like to relive the good ole’ Snooki days.
Where’s the Beach?!
Let’s be honest, who hasn’t been on the boardwalk and wondered where the beach was? I think the best part of this scene was that even though JWow and Deena finally caught up with Snooks, she still managed to slip out of their grasp and face plant into the sand.
I’m just glad that one time I was looking for the beach wasn’t caught on film.
The Meaning of True Friendship
Who remembers when the meatballs roamed the Shore? I will never forget Snooki and her bestie Deena cruising for dudes and drinking booze. I mean, what else is there to do when you’re on vacation?
- “It’s only, like, Jersey girls that can dance so hard their underwears come off.” – Deena
- “Everybody Google it. Because that’s why the water is salty. From the f**king whale sperm.” – Snooki
- “I just didn’t want my cuca to come out.” – Snooki
- “Doing eyelashes when you’re buzzed is not a good time.” – Deena
Putting Fashion Above All
Remember back in Miami when Snooki bought these sweet shades? She was so committed to fashion that she would rather be blind than look like a fool. “The glasses are pretty much all crystalled out, all bling-bling, but when you put them on you can’t really see. . . so I don’t think you can’t drive with them. . . because you’ll get a ticket,” said Snooki. Who wants to bet she tried to drive with these on?
Snooki, I understand you’re a grown up and have a family, but can’t you let loose a few times a year (and let MTV film it)? I mean, who is going to teach me what to wear and new ways to refer to my cuca?
There are many, many more classic Snooki moments, please share your favs!
Today, the Encore channel made my day and decided to show the classic film From Justin to Kelly. This 2003 musical romcom stars Kelly Clarkson (aka America’s Idol) and Justin Guarini (America’s runner up Idol) and it tells the tale of two spring breakers who are into each other, but obstacles keep popping up and block their love. It’s literally frustrating.
Don’t remember this spring break classic? The trailer will surely refresh your memory:
In case that piqued your interested, the movie is roaming around on the web just waiting to be watched for free! But before you type that in on Google, I’ll be honest, From Justin to Kelly didn’t do so well at the box office. The movie only grossed $4,922,166 to be exact. The critics considered this movie a total fail and it’s considered one of the worst movies of all time. :(
Now, I’d like to note that American Idol‘s legal team made Kelly and Justin go through with this. I’m hoping they had a blast and partied like they were on spring break…because some parts of this movie are a bit awkward. It’s totally clear that Kelly and Justin were not into each other in a romantical way whatsoever. But there is one good part to this movie…all the great musical numbers!
Here is my favorite jam from the movie’s soundtrack. It’s called Timeless and this clip is the duo performing it live!
I’d like to note that I’m not completely delusional. I know this movie isn’t the greatest, but can’t we all just sit down and enjoy it for what it is? You can’t blame Kelly either…it’s not like she tried out for an acting show, I mean Kelly Clarkson was on American Idol. Girl knows her strengths.
If you ever find yourself in a situation where this movie is on the TV, I’d recommend creating your very own drinking game. You can get real wild and enjoy America’s Idol.
P.S. If you want to know how I really feel about American Idol, please read my post! It really is all Seacrest’s fault.
Yes, before Beyoncé was Beyoncé.
Growing up, Lil’ Kim was the first celebrity I thought was a boss before I even knew what the word boss meant (Sorry, Brit). I did idolize Lil’ Kim for a number of reasons, mostly because she did whateverrr she wanted and pulled it off.
I believe it was last year’s VMAs when Lil’ Kim came out of hiding to present. I was beyond pumped. The words Lil’ Kim is backkkkkkkkk was scrolling through my brain. After Queen Bee stepped off stage…I felt sad. She just was the same baddest bitch that I remember.
In order to relive the good old days, listed below are my three most memorable baddest bitch moments.
3. Spending Some Quality Time in the Slammer
You don’t get to be a bad bitch without having a stint in jail…just ask Lindsay. Back in 2005, Lil’ Kim was sentenced to a year and a day in jail and fined $50,000 for lying in regards to a shootout outside a radio station in Manhattan.
Allegedly Lil’ Kim lied about whether two members of her entourage were at the scene of the shootout. I say allegedly because I know Queen Bee would never lie like that! Check out her comeback at the 2006 VMAs.
2. Putting the Range in Da Rover
This song never gets old. I also think it’s one of Kim’s most well-known jams. The jam, which can be found on La Bella Mafia, was produced by Timberland and features a Mr. Cheeks.
This song includes a number of controversial lyrics, including one about a Sprite can…but my favorite lyric of all time is: I’m the one that put the “Range” in the “Rover.” It has become my mantra.
1. Purple Pasty
Ah yes. You all know what I’m referring to. Let’s go back, back to the 1999 VMA Awards. Lil’ Kim rolls onto the red carpet with basically an entire breast exposed…I think she was going for that mermaid look. That outfit choice took a lot of guts and I’m still wondering what kind of glue she used.
This outfit is not only memorable for the whole boob exposed thing, but also for the fact that Lil’ Kim was felt up by the one and only Diana Ross. Can’t remember? Don’t worry, here’s the video.
Ok, so there are my most memorable Lil’ Kim moments. Please share your favs…let’s relive the glory days together.
The WB was the best television network…ever
Throughout my teenage years and even now in my twenties, I’ve run into numerous situations where I’ve needed guidance. While I, of course, had my mom and friends to consult, there were some scenarios where only Buffy, Joey Potter or Liz Parker could help.
If those names sound familiar, then you were a fan of The WB network…and what a great network it was.
The WB network debuted January 11, 1995, but didn’t start gaining some traction until 1997 – the year of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Buffy brought much success, so much so that the network decided to focus on the teen demographic. Thank God they did, where else would I have learned how to navigate the mean streets of high school?
What I am about to write in this paragraph is so important, it deserves its own paragraph. January 20, 1998 was when The WB debuted a show that is described as the network’s “signature series” and I couldn’t agree more. That series is Dawson’s Creek…obviously…it sure as hell wasn’t 7th Heaven.
Dawson and the gang brought in the network’s highest ratings, with the pilot ranking in 6.8 million viewers and the series finale, which was watched by 7.8 million viewers. Because of the success of Buffy and Dawson’s, The WB introduced us to Roswell, Angel, Felicity, Charmed, Popular, Young Americans and so many more beloved shows.
Below is a promo for network that debuted 13 years ago. It’s filled with so many familiar friends. I almost cried from all the memories that came at me like a wrecking ball…get it?
On a side note, I would like to point out that Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx were both in this promo. Maybe those dating rumors do have some truth to them. Get. It. Katie.
Kelis’ milkshake brought all the boys to the yard?
I certainly remember and I’m still wondering what the Kelis version of a milkshake actually means. According to Urban Dictionary, a milkshake could be:
- What “brings all the boys to the yard” and causes them to fall in love with you and do whatever you want.
- If you’re milkshake is really good you don’t even have to ask, they do it automatically.
- A milkshake is a female’s mojo. Something that can’t be taught but you are born with. Either you have it or you don’t.
Now that we have solved that mystery, “Milkshake” is a jam by R&B/Hip-Hop star Kelis that was released Aug. 25, 2005. You can locate it on the album titled, “Tasty.” I am deeming this song an oldie, but still a God damn goodie.
“Milkshake” reached number three on the Billboard Hot 100 and is considered Kelis’ best charting song to date. Let’s be real…it’s her only good song.
What I think really makes this song awesome is the music video. It consists of Kelis entering a diner called Tasty’s Yard and dancing seductively with an actual milkshake for three minutes. Keep an eye out for a Nas cameo. Side note: Nas used to be hitched to Kelis but the couple divorced in 2009 when Kelis was seven months pregnant…sad face.
Anywho…favise lyrics: “I could teach you, but I have to charge” | favise part of music video: when Kelis is gyrating on the diner counter.
Moral of this story…shake your milkshake and the boys will come running.
Jesse Metcalfe was a celebrity?
Ahh yes. You remember Jesse…he played Eva Longoria’s gorgeous gardener on “Desperate Housewives.”
Let’s be real…no one blames Eva for breaking the 7th or 8th commandment and getting intimate with him. She couldn’t disappoint the women of America!
Anywho, Mr. Metcalfe was born Dec. 9, 1978 in Carmel Valley, California…he is 33 years young and still no sign of wrinkles!
Jesse kickstarted his acting career where most stars get their debut…on the soaps. Jesse played Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald on NBC’s “Passions.”
Then in 2004, Jesse landed the role of gardener John Rowland…sigh. Fun Fact: Jesse has actual landscaping experience! He worked for his stepfather’s landscaping business back when he was a teenager. In an article with USAToday, Jesse revealed “I can mow lawns, weed-whack, plant flowers. Whatever you need me to do.” What a man!
Obviously, the next step for Jesse was the big screen. In 2006, Jesse starred in his first film “John Tucker Must Die” alongside Sophia Bush and Brittany Snow. It was a typical high school movie, which means I loved it. Surprisingly, the film made a little over $68 million worldwide.
At this point, Jesse was living the dream. But things started to go downhill…quickly. In March of 2007 Jesse checked into rehab for alcoholism…sad face.
Following that, Jesse had the unfortunate mishap of falling off a balcony in 2008. No, not kidding. While hosting the World Music Awards, Jesse was hanging out and sitting on the ledge of a balcony. All of a sudden he toppled backwards and fell about 30 feet! His rep told the media that Jesse had a “couple of glasses of champagne.” Umm…wasn’t he in rehab for that?
After a few years of starring in movies no one has seen, Jesse is really trying for that thing called a comeback. He landed a role on the reboot of the classic TV series “Dallas,” which is premiering in June.
Jesse – I am here to offer you a few tips on a successful comeback:
- For a real life example, call Britney instead of Lindsay
- Don’t swear on live TV
- No drinking around balconies
- If in doubt…just take your shirt off
Good Luck – Love, Kari
Snooki was drunk all the time
So I’ll say it…I’m not entirely happy that Snooki is with child. I’m sorry, but I can’t hide my feelings any longer. I spent a majority of last weekend watching the “Jersey Shore” marathon on the TV and appreciated the fact that Snooki would drink until she fell over. It’s harder than you think…it’s a full-time job. During these benders, Snooki taught me how to Snook for love for goodness sakes! I think I’m crying.
Even though Snooki is engaged to Jionni and the happy couple is expecting a baby…I wanted to share some of my favise Snooki moments and reminisce on the good times.
Remember when Snooki couldn’t find the beach?
Remember when Snooki and Deena were cruising in Italy and Snooki slammed into a police car?
Remember when MTV constructed a life-sized hamster ball and plopped Snooki inside? What a way to ring in 2011.
Typically, I would address Snooki with a sassy comment at this point, but I can’t sass a pregnant woman…I do have some morals. So this one goes out to Deena. Girl if you need someone to hit up the bar or club with you…I’m available day or night.
Rihanna played “Russian Roulette”
I am finally ready to discuss the Rihanna and Chris Brown remixes.
These days Chris Brown seems to be everywhere my little ears are. So I must ask…will someone punch me in the ears? I’ll give you a free shot…or five.
Like all the other independent woman out there, the last place I expected to hear Chris Brown was on a Rihanna track! And the last place I expected to hear Rihanna was on a Chris Brown track!
If you’ve been M.I.A the past few days, let me give you the 411. Chris Brown is featured on the remix for Rihanna’s song “Birthday Cake” and Rihanna is featured on a remix of Brown’s “Turn Up the Music.” Both tracks were released this past Monday.
Precious Rihanna even tweeted about the remix…
Ever since Brown hurt this national treasure, there has always been the “Are they or aren’t they back together” rumor.
Not surprisingly there has been a boatload of outrage about Rihanna and Brown collaborating. Basically, people can’t believe Rihanna is associating with Chris Brown again…and I don’t blame them!
This controversy made me think about a time when Rihanna was so sad and sang about playing “Russian Roulette.” You can hear her pain pouring out in the lyrics. Rihanna’s pain = my pain.
Rihanna…stay strong boo.
Chris Brown…Nope, still haven’t forgotten.
Brandy and Monica were fighting over Mekhi Phifer?
I just got word that R&B singers Brandy and Monica are collaborating on a new track titled, “It All Belongs to Me.” Released yesterday, you will be able to find this single on Monica’s upcoming album “New Life” due out in April.
This news reminded me of an epic song released by the Grammy-winning duo back in 1998…”The Boy is Mine.”
This jam spent 13 weeks at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 and the single sold 2,591,000 copies! Along with all that jazz, Brandy and Monica received the Grammy for Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal.
While I do love this song, I love the music video even more. It depicts Brandy and Monica fighting over the beautifully handsome (yes, I said it) Mekhi Phifer.
My favise part of the video is when Brandy and Monica are fighting in the hallway, saying:
Monica: The boy is mine, not yours
Brandy: But mine!
Monica: Not yours!
Brandy: But mine!
Monica: Not yours!
Brandy: But mine!
At the end, Mekhi knocks on Brandy’s door and both ladies are waiting for him.
I made a decision, decision made: This video is empowering to women!
Khloe & Lamar hawked a unisex fragrance
Since E! thinks no one knows who Khloe Kardashian is and/or who Lam Lam is, the network is running the promo for Season 2 of Khloe & Lamar (debuting Feb. 19th) every 4.6 seconds. For some ungodly reason I continue to sit on my precious ass and watch the preview over and over again. This promo reminded me of another promotion Khloe and Lam Lam were involved in…
Ahh yes…Unbreakable! In the words of Scott Disick: Strong enough for a man, sensitive enough for a woman.
Let me start with this declarative sentence…Khloe Kardashian is my favise Kdash sister. I don’t care if she is a Kardashian, a Trump or from Mars…I love her. She’s got spunk, sass and the best jokes in the history of jokes. Did I take that one too far?
Anywho, there is just something about this commercial that makes me feel like a weirdy. I think it’s the fact that Khloe and Lam Lam are talking about sharing a scent…I’m not a wolf…I don’t need to share a scent.
Well that isn’t true, I do share a scent. My choice scent is Fantasy by Britney Spears…available at Macy’s. But that is a socially acceptable scent to share! By purchasing Fantasy by Britney Spears…I not only smell like heaven but I am also helping start a college fund for Jayden James. People helping people…it’s a beautiful thing.
Maybe Kris Jenner forced Khloe and Lam Lam to do this? I just picture Kris Jenner explaining the business idea to the Unbreakable couple and Khloe laughs so hard she pees or bitch slaps Jenner across the face.