For my final piece of the J.Lo musical puzzle…I’ve chosen a song that isn’t even J.Lo’s. Yes, she is that powerful that she takes over songs that she is merely featured on.
‘Follow the Leader’
In real life…this is Wisin & Yandel’s song and it features J.Lo as a guest. Since J.Lo does not play second banana to anyone, many people (myself included) probably assume that this is solely a J.Lo jam. After I watched the video, I pondered the following thought: Who the hell are those two weirdys next to Jenny (from da Bronx)?
Those weirdys are Wisin & Yandel and they are described as a Puerto Rican reggaeton duo. These two have been around for years…since 1998 to be exact. Surprisingly, I have a personal experience with these two gentlemen.
When I was a freshman in college, one of my friends told me about this new song she just had to play for me and my roommate. The song was called “Noche De Sexo” and once I heard four seconds of it…I was in love. Along with being in love, I had no idea what the song meant until…now.
Anywho, J.Lo stars in Wisin & Yandel’s song/music video for “Follow the Leader” and kills it. Who knew J.Lo could do parkour and look so cool with a chest piece? Yet another reason she is my almost spiritual goddess.
Okay, let’s recap…
- Do not challenge J.Lo to any sort of anything…she will always come out on top.
- Get a chest piece that contains a Spanish word to impress others.
- When you follow the leader…the leader is really J.Lo.
- Learn Spanish in order to break into Spanish rap game.
- J.Lo and I do have one thing in common…when we are both on the floor, our hips are in charge.
J.Lo – See you (and your boo Casper) in AC aka the Vegas of the East Coast. Love, your bodiqua.
Kelly Clarkson’s new music video for “Dark Side” has hit the Interweb!
While I was praying for “Let Me Down” to be the American Idol’s third single off “Stronger,” I’ll admit that “Dark Side” is a good jam…especially when you have the privilege to hear it live. You can really hear that famous Clarkson rage.
Anywho, the video isn’t a favorite of mine, but I have to support Team Clarkson and show it to my millions of followers! And by millions…I mean my mom, roommates and the cats <3
I have to say, Kelly is looking good! Get it girl.
In order to help a girl out, I’ll be taking over the Wednesday spot for the next few weeks. So, I bring you the years that I am most familiar with, the 90s. And what a great decade it was for the ladies. A number of strong single girl musical acts hit the main stage, and a smörgåsbord of boy bands pining for our attention were always around. To honor this period of girl power, I present the three boy bands most famous for their woman praising lyrics.
Backstreet Boys- Brian, Nick, AJ, Kevin and Howie, there was one for every day of the work week. One of the best-selling acts of the 90s, BSB was formed in 1993 in Orlando, Florida. Their debut album Backstreet Boys, featured pro-women singles such as “Anywhere for You” and “I’ll Never break your Heart.” Don’t they sound like loyal bf’s?
Their second album featured the mega fit “I want it that Way.” While almost every 90s pre-teenager knows the lyrics of the songs, I’ll remind you of what I feel are the most powerful lines:
“No matter the distance
I want you to know
That deep down inside of me
You are my fire
The one desire
You are, You are,
you are, you are…”
Things got a little weird after the 2000 release of Black and Blue. AJ got rehabbed and Kevin left the group (although the eternal rumors of his comeback are ever present). As the BSB grew up, it seems that they became even more woman friendly, getting married, starting charities for breast cancer research, and participating in the “It Gets Better” campaign. You go boys!
More to come next Wednesday!
With the weekend coming to a close, I think you could use another J.Lo jam to get your spirits up before a case of the Mondays hit.
‘Jenny From The Block’
There are many, many reasons to the love this song/music video. Don’t worry, I’ll only be highlighting two:
1. Did you know that Jennifer is from the Bronx…more specifically the South-Side? Don’t feel bad if you didn’t…she reminds us every time the chorus hits.
2. One of my hobbies is reminiscing about celebrity couples from the past. J.Lo not only provided one of the greatest/awkward celebrity couples, but whored it out in the music video. Hint: Bennifer.
Even though this song is basically J.Lo telling everyone about all the great shit she has…I’m still into it. I like hearing about the rocks that she got and that she used to have a little, but now she has a lot.
Now lets discuss the most important aspect of this video…Bennifer. I have always wondered why Ben Affleck participated in this video…J.Lo must have really had his ass whipped.
I can only imagine the boatloads of harassment Affleck took after this video was released and especially after his engagement with the singer ended. I can practically hear Matt Damon asking Ben “Remember that time you slapped J.Lo’s ass on a yacht and it was in that music video?” Poor Ben.
One good thing about Bennifer…J.Lo really turned Ben from a scruffy dude to a leading Hollywood man who uses hair gel and wears expensive suits.
J.Lo – Thank you for getting Ben on point and prepping him for his next Jennifer…Garner that is.
Every once in a while I get on a certain musical artist kick.
During this kick, I basically listen to one artist over and over until my roommates can’t stand it anymore. Obviously, I don’t get sick of the music..hence the kick. This month I am on a J.Lo/Jenny from the block/Jennifer Lopez/Selena kick.
J.Lo has provided me, along with the world, great jams that have the ability to fill the void in a variety of occasions and moments.
Below I would like to highlight a few of my favorite J.Lo jams.
‘Waiting for Tonight’
Who hasn’t gotten up on a Friday morning and thought “God, I can’t wait for tonight.” I do this everyday…even on Mondays.
“Waiting for Tonight” is one of those songs that you play at the party, before the party. Whenever this song comes on, I automatically turn on my green laser strobe lights, whisper inappropriate phrases in Spanish, glue jewels over my whole body and dance my face off in a manner that would make J.Lo proud.
If you recall, “Waiting for Tonight” was release in 1999. Yes, that was before we called Jennifer J.Lo! Even though it’s over 10 years old, this song still entices people to anticipate tonight and try to dance like Jennifer…but fail miserably .
J.Lo – with “Waiting for Tonight” you officially earned my endorsement. Get it girl.
Stay tuned…there’s more J.Lo coming up…
Last Thursday Nicki Minaj released the musical video for her single “Starships.” I have finally gotten around to watching it and after viewing and reviewing the video I have two things to say:
- Holy crow
- I’ll never get those four minutes back
From the first time I heard “Starships” I have always had a bit of an issue with the song. I feel like Nicki is trying to jam three different genres into one song. Is it a pop song or a rap song…could it be house music? Does anyone know? Has anyone asked Lil’ Wayne? He might know.
The music video does not help me answer the question either. It’s basically Nicki running around on a Hawaiian beach…nothing special. There is also a spaceship and men dressed in paint and cloths. Been there, seen that.
Nicki – get it together.
Beyoncé has two halos?
My roommates and I are big fans of music video countdowns and since MTV has forgotten it’s a music channel, the Fuse network has taken its place in our hearts.
Even though I have previously posted about “Halo,” I was educated last night by the lady on Fuse and now feel compelled to share my new knowledge with you.
Side note: While Kanye thinks that Beyoncé’s best video of all time was “Single Ladies,” I’m going to have to disagree and go with “Halo.”
Anywho, last night, while watching the 20 sexiest videos by singer/actress Beyoncé, I learned that there was an alternative music video for “Halo.” Next thing I knew I was experiencing whiplash over the fact that I didn’t know this. To my surprise, the info was legit.
Now for my comments on the piece.
As usual Lady B looks fierce and the gentleman in the video is on point.
I actually like this version more than I like the official version. I just wish I knew why Beyoncé’s man was being chased and killed by a dog. Along with that, why was money thrown across the forest ground? I’m thinking there was some mob action involved.
In the end, it doesn’t matter what Beyoncé did or didn’t do in the musical video version of “Halo.” She could have sat in a dark room and mouthed the words for all I cared…I would never shut Beyoncé out.
P.S. stay tuned for Topless Tuesday!
There are two things I remember about Mr. Cabrera:
- He used to have the most outrageous, yet attractive hair I’ve ever seen. Probably could store tons of junk in it too.
- He dated Ashlee Simpson (pre lip-syncing debacle) and got a record deal out of it. Hint: Papa Joe Simpson.
Before I get to the Ashlee Simpson era of Ryan’s life, let’s rewind to July 18, 1982. If you guessed that this is Ryan’s birthday…I have a prize waiting for you at my apartment. Head on over and ask for Baby Al or Maria (those are the cats…they run this town) for assistance.
Anywho, Ryan was born in Dallas, Texas, his middle name is Frank and he is Colombian…into it.
Ryan caught a break in 2001 when he was signed to Atlantic Records but didn’t release his debut single until May 2004. The name of the song will probably bring back some sweet, sweet memories…”On the Way Down.” I was into this song…hard. But Ashlee Simpson had to ruin everything and make an appearance in the video…ugh.
In August 2004, Ryan’s (second) album “Take It All Away” was released and Carson Daly was predicting big things for Mr. Cabrera. During the first week of the album release, “Take It All Away” sold over 66,000 copies an eventually was certified double platinum. Two additional singles were released off this album: “True” and “40 Kinds of Sadness.”
Now that I have refreshed your memory…what the hell has Cabrera been doing since 2004?
In 2005, Cabrera released his second studio album “You Stand Watching” that included singles “Shine On” and “Photo,” which is based on his relationship with Ashlee Simpson. The album peaked at number 24 in the U.S.
It took until 2008 for Cabrera to release his third studio album titled, “The Moon Under Water” which peaked even lower at 177…o0o0o0 burn.
I guess Ryan filled his spare time with all the ladies he previously dated. Besides Ashlee, Ryan was linked with Lisa Origliasso from The Veronicas, Riley Keough (Lisa Marie Presley’s daughter) and Audrina Patridge. At least his relationship with Audrina got him some TV time on “The Hills.” He was also spotted on that brief reality show “Pretty Wild.” Remember that one?
Recently, Cabrera has been laying pretty low. The last Cabrera spotting was back in Oct. 2011. The singer was partying his face off at The Roosevelt. Hey at least we know he’s not dead and he’s still rocking that sweet, but awkward hairdo.
Ryan – it’s time for a full-on comeback…consult B. Spears for further directions.
While it may be some other religious-like holiday, I have officially deemed today…Drake Day.
Why you ask? One of the most handsome rappers alive has released not one…but TWO new music videos. I’ll give you a moment to process this greatness. Breathe into a paper bag if necessary.
The first music video is “HYFR” ft. Lil’ Wayne (ugh). It chronicles Drake’s re-bar mitzvah, which he celebrated back in 2011. The video starts off with a smaller version of Drake getting his groove on then transports us to the sweet, sweet party.
Leave it to Lil’ Wayne to be underdressed for the occasion.
The next video released on Drake Day is….”Take Care” ft. his number one lady Rihanna. Honestly, when are these two going to stop beating around the microphone and get married?!
It makes everyone on the planet so sad to continuously see the pain in Rihanna’s precious eyes.
While I don’t understand the concept of the snowy mountain, the big bird and the bull…I do love the shots of RiRi and Drizzy together.
Even though it is Drake Day…this message goes out to Rihanna: Girl, let Drake take care of you.
Kelis’ milkshake brought all the boys to the yard?
I certainly remember and I’m still wondering what the Kelis version of a milkshake actually means. According to Urban Dictionary, a milkshake could be:
- What “brings all the boys to the yard” and causes them to fall in love with you and do whatever you want.
- If you’re milkshake is really good you don’t even have to ask, they do it automatically.
- A milkshake is a female’s mojo. Something that can’t be taught but you are born with. Either you have it or you don’t.
Now that we have solved that mystery, “Milkshake” is a jam by R&B/Hip-Hop star Kelis that was released Aug. 25, 2005. You can locate it on the album titled, “Tasty.” I am deeming this song an oldie, but still a God damn goodie.
“Milkshake” reached number three on the Billboard Hot 100 and is considered Kelis’ best charting song to date. Let’s be real…it’s her only good song.
What I think really makes this song awesome is the music video. It consists of Kelis entering a diner called Tasty’s Yard and dancing seductively with an actual milkshake for three minutes. Keep an eye out for a Nas cameo. Side note: Nas used to be hitched to Kelis but the couple divorced in 2009 when Kelis was seven months pregnant…sad face.
Anywho…favise lyrics: “I could teach you, but I have to charge” | favise part of music video: when Kelis is gyrating on the diner counter.
Moral of this story…shake your milkshake and the boys will come running.