There aren’t many topics that make me want to enter a heated debate; but I will argue with anyone on this planet about how Justin Timberlake still loves Britney Spears. Let’s be real, when you wear matching jean outfits in public, that’s eternal love.
If you listen to Justin’s new and old jams, you can clearly hear that he’s not over Britney. I am about to lay out the 5 stages of a breakup and show you in musical form how JT is still coping.
Please note: Some songs may not be in order of release. Everyone deals with grief differently, you know?
1. Denial – What Goes Around…Comes Around was released around the same time that Britney was splitting up with K-Fed. Coincidence, I think not. I put this jam in the denial slot because even though Brit and JT broke up in 2002, he is still in denial about the fact that she cheated on him. Yes, it was a poor choice on her part, but she did apologize.
Justin sings Don’t want to think about it / Don’t want to talk about it / I’m just so sick about it / Can’t believe it’s ending this way. Poor guy.
2. Anger – Ok, we get it…Britney got with another dude, but did you have to find a girl who looks extremely similar to your ex lady for your music video? Ugh, you get this one for free, Timberlake.
3. Bargaining – Cheating was a deal breaker for JT and he has definitely held his ground on that front. I give Brit the blame here, she should’ve picked honesty, then she may not have blown it. Please refer to song in stage 2.
4. Depression – Remember when Justin went on a musical hiatus from 2007 – 2012 to focus on his “acting.” He was actually in a dark room covered in Britney posters while drinking heavily. He wrote a song called Drink You Away where he states “I can’t drink you away.” Neither could Britney, boo.
5. Acceptance – Let’s be real, there is no acceptance where Britney is concerned. That flame will never burn out. Since my brain and heart cannot fathom that idea that Mirrors is about Jessica Biel, I will award Britney the point.
As you can see, I clearly have too much time on my hands. #TeamBritney
Remember when Lady Gaga was your ordinary, run-of-the-mill pop star? Yes, I’m bringing it back to those days when she was rocking leotards and poking faces.
I enjoyed those days. She was what she was…and that was a woman who could sing catchy pop songs. Well, I must have been in quite the heavy blackout because next thing you know Gaga is acting like a spiritual leader of sorts. She even allowed herself to be reborn…take that Jesus.
Don’t get me wrong, I think Gaga does great things as an activist, but the songs on Artpop still seem like just pop songs. I’m not the only one who is thinking this stuff. The reviews for Artpop aren’t exactly kneeling at her alter.
As everyone knows, I do enjoy a damn good pop song and Gaga does deliver in that regard. Case in point: Do What U Want feat. R. Kelly.
Lyrics I would like to comment on:
Lady Gaga: I feel good, I walk alone/But then I trip by myself and I fall/I, I stand up, and then I’m okay
Kari: Is this what inspiration feels like?
Lady Gaga: So do what you want/What you want with my body/Do what you want/Don’t stop, let’s party
Kari: Inappropriate for anyone under 18. For the over 18 crowd, this is a great opening line at the bar or other types of social gatherings.
R. Kelly: Do what I want/Do what I want with your body/Ya we taking these haters and we roughin’ ‘em up/And we laying a cut like we don’t give a fuck
Kari: I never realized until this moment that R. Kelly is the Maya Angelou of our time. Someone call Oprah!
After listening to this song on repeat pretty much all day, I have to say I’m glad Lady Gaga could convince Kells to exit the closet and drop some beats.
At some point last week, Miley Cyrus release her new album, Bangerz, and Spotify suggested I give it a listen. While Spotify doesn’t always hit the nail on the head, I figured it was my duty as an American to give the album a spin.
Overall, I’m into it. Of course there are some songs I don’t like and don’t understand. For example 4×4, #GETITRIGHT, Love Money Party and My Darlin’. I won’t post these songs, you can Google them. But if you’ve heard them, you know what I’m talking about.
Ok, let’s get down to business. Here are my top 3 Miley Bangerz:
I know, I know, another breakup song. I’m saving up money to speak with a professional about my feelings. Feel free to donate to the cause.
Anywho, Someone Else, sounds like Miley was changing her ways for a gentleman. Ladies, haven’t we all felt this way? Well obviously she slammed on the breaks when she realized that was happening. #StrongerThanYesterday.
Jeez Liam, you must have really pissed Miley off.
This is my favorite banger on the whole album, besides Wrecking Ball of course. And yes, it’s another sad song about being alone. I really do need some type of counseling.
Miley, you did a great job of organizing these tracks. I felt like this album was the evolution of your love story with Liam Hemsworth. I could tell you really had it with his shit by track six. You go girl.
I know MTV doesn’t care, but I love a good music video. Recently, a lot of entertaining ones have been released. I would like to share a few of my new favs.
Say hello to Mike WiLL Made-It – ft. Miley Cyrus, Juicy J & Wiz Khalifa. I honestly have no idea why I’m into this song. I really don’t even know what it’s about, but I find myself listening to it quite frequently.
I have actually thought about this being my theme song when I walk into places such as malls, grocery stores and even work. Anyways, my favorite part of the music video is watching Miley Cyrus be a BAMF.
Does anyone else want to sit on a basketball hoop and rap? I know I do.
Hold On, We’re Going Home
This music video mashes all of life’s most beautiful things: Drake, the year 1985 and A$AP Rocky. Watching this music video is like 7 minutes in heaven…really, the music video is 7 minutes long. It chronicles Drake saving his lady from a kidnapper. It’s really beautiful, you’ll see.
Does anyone else wish that Drake would dress like Miami Vice from now on?
Obviously you had to see this one coming, right? I have to say, I really enjoyed watching this music video. It made me feel exotic, when in reality I was sitting on the couch with the cats.
I have a few favorite parts that I must share:
1. How do I get a vanity set in the desert? I would like to place mine approximately 2 feet from Brit’s. I’m trying to borrow that perfume.
2. Does the dancing scene with the gloves remind anyone of the Me Against the Music era?
3. God, Britney looks GREAT! The weave, dance moves and facial expressions are all in check.
Britney, I’m so, I’m so, I’m so proud of you.
In between the extreme twerking, grinding on Robin Thicke and sticking out her tongue …Miley Cyrus and her fiancé Liam Hemsworth have finally closed the chapter on their love. We all knew they were circling the drain (Katy Perry reference, anyone?), but I still had hopes these two would pull through.
You might say, “Hey Kari, it could still work out for these two.” I would say to you “Don’t string me along. I know it’s over.” How do I know that it’s over? Miley has stopped following her ex-boo on Twitter.
As a side note, when did unfollowing someone on Twitter become the be all and end all? I guess I’m from the generation that still feels unfriending people on Facebook really burns the other person. Can someone tell me if unfriending is still the way to figuratively burn others?
Anywho, Miley and Liam met back in 2009 on the set of “The Last Song” and yes, I did cry during the credits. The pair became engaged in May 2012 and I was so happy that I sorta felt like I was engaged. Ok, not really but I was happy for them.
In my opinion, what really got this breakup train rolling was when Miley cut off her long locks and began to rock the super short, extremely blonde mohawkish thing on her head. It was basically the haircut heard around the globe and Miley 2.0 was born. From this moment on, I’ve continuously stated “Liam is just too classy for Miley.” And for once, I was right…sorry Miley.
Let’s be real, Miley is obviously going through something. She wants to be a wild child and now is her chance to do it. She’s 20 and has a boatload of money. If you were in her shoes, wouldn’t you be doing the same thing? Personally, I wouldn’t choose that exact hairstyle, but I would be getting real wild.
Miley – Go buck wild and give Liam a call in a few years. That fling with January Jones won’t last long, she seems to be a little stagnant in the personality department. Oops, can’t say that.
Many people’s favorite time of year falls around the holiday season or the beginnings of summer. My favorite time is neither of those…it’s when Britney Spears releases new music.
As you may have guessed, that day is RIGHT NOW!
Before you listen to Brit’s new jam, I would like to say a few words. If you haven’t visited http://britneyspears.com in a while, the site has been displaying a countdown with the phrase All Eyes on Me. There has been much speculation as to what this countdown was counting towards. For a few days I thought it was for the Vegas tour announcement, but now I realize it’s for a NEW MUSIC VIDEO! If you can’t tell, I’m freaking out!
Here is what we have all been waiting for. It’s time to Work Bitch!
A few things I’ve learned/realized from this song:
- Britney loves using the word Bitch
- She must have some English roots, because Brit is really going British these days
- I need to start purchasing leotards to wear on casual friday
Lyrics to look out for: Go call the police / Go call the governor / I bring the trouble / That means the trouble y’all
Keep an eye out for Brit’s new music video. It will be revealed in 1 day, 11 hours, 56 minutes and 25 seconds. I mean 24 seconds. No wait 23 seconds. Jesus, you get the point.
I would want it to play out just like Katy Perry’s new music video for “Roar.” Haven’t seen it yet? Thank goodness I’m here to share it with you.
While watching this music video, I thought how great I would look in a leopard top, a skirt made out of leaves and a leather strap wrapped around my arm to show off my guns. I know I would look so good that I’m even considering wearing that exact ensemble for Causal Friday.
At first, I thought this music video was a little redic. After watching it three and a half times, I realized that Katy always gives us ladies such positive anthems (Remember “Firework” and “Part of Me“). Because of her lady anthems, it’s hard not to love her imitation of a tiger roaring loudly.
There are a few highlights to Katy’s new music video that I would like to share with you:
- Katy teaches us how to make a spear with a high heel and a stick
- She trains an elephant to be a portable shower…snaps for Katy
- She also assists an alligator practice good hygiene by brushing his teeth
- Katy enjoys taking selfies with a monkey. It’s amazing that Katy’s cell still works in the jungle. She must have a solar-powered charger.
Those are just a few of my favorite moments in the four-minute video. If you don’t have time to watch, I’ll tell you the ending…Katy becomes queen of the jungle. Get it girl.
P.S. Katy – Can you tell me how you hair looks so damn good in that jungle heat? Give a girl some tips!
While I was listening to my first Lady Singer, Spotify suggested I would enjoy the musical stylings of the following lady. I gave her a chance and realized that this woman also speaks to me with her cool jams. Since it is my duty to share these types of things with my millions upon millions of fans, here you go.
Marina and the Diamonds
At 27 years cool, Marina Lambrini Diamandis aka Marina and the Diamonds, was born in Wales and started to gain some recognition in 2005 when she hit number 2 on the BBC Sound of 2010 poll. Guess who was number 1 on that poll…Ellie Goulding. Sound familiar?
Marina has released two studio albums so far: The Family Jewels and Electra Heart.
If you haven’t heard of Marina and the Diamonds, let me introduce the two of you with a few facts about our new friend Marina.
- “The Diamonds” part of her stage name does not refer to her band, but her fans
- Marina has a neurological condition called synaesthetic, which involves her seeing the days of the week and musical notes in different colors
- She loves businessmen…good choice
Here are a few of my favorite Marina and the Diamonds jams that I think you would enjoy as well:
“How to be a Heartbreaker”
I’ve been waiting 26 long years, but I’ve finally discovered the step-by-step rules on how to be a heartbreaker. Thanks Marina!
Any woman who has ever been scorned by a man will get this.
She does what she wants.
As you can see, Marina and The Diamonds has a wide range of emotions in her songs. She follows the typical path most women travel in regards to finding a husband. First, she’s cruising to be a heartbreaker but accidentally falls for a man, then she’s sad because the dude lied to her and finally becomes so jaded that she turns into a homewrecker. Yep, sounds about right.
It seems I blipped off the radar these last few days – I apologize. You can blame my cat, she was sitting on my computer. See below:
Anywho, on this fine Sunday evening, I’d like to write about one of my favorite topics…lady singers. It’s true, I love pop divas, including Cher, Xtina and B. Spears – just to name a few. With this blog series, I’d like to share some new favorites of mine for us to enjoy together.
Lana Del Rey
I hope you and your ears have had the pleasure of hearing Lana and her redic lyrics. If you haven’t, get ready to listen to a lady who says exactly what’s on her mind. For example, she sings about Pabst Blue Ribbon on ice, a dude’s python and drugs, lots of drugs.
Spoiler Alert: Lana Del Rey isn’t her real name, it’s Elizabeth Woolridge Grant and she’s 27 years young. Lana was discovered by uploading her songs to YouTube. Because of that, she got herself a real record deal! Her first single was “Video Games,” which was on her second studio album “Born to Die.”
While the critics have mixed feelings about Lana’s talent, more specifically a past appearance on SNL, I’m into her music – it speaks to me. Here are a few of my favorite Lana jams:
Lana channels Jackie O and A$AP Rocky takes on the role of JFK. Odd, but in an awesome way. Lyrics to listen up for: Um, do you think you’ll buy me lots of diamonds?
Lyrics to listen up for: Promise you’ll remember that you’re mine/Baby can you see through the tears/Love you more/Than those bitches before
“Off to the Races”
Lyrics to listen up for: Swimming pool glimmering darling/White bikini off with my red nail polish/Watch me in the swimming pool bright blue ripples you/Sitting sipping on your black Cristal
And the final reason as to why you should listen to Lana…she can teach you how to be a boss. See below:
Lana – Thank you and keep it classy.
I’m sure you’ve heard, but two pop ladies released some new jams today. Katy Perry released “Roar” and Lady Gaga released “Applause.”
I have to say, I’m not super impressed with either of them…I’ve heard better from these two. When I really started thinking about how I’m not in love with either of these songs, a scary thought entered my mind…am I too old for pop music?!!? Dear God, I hope not. What will I listen to? And don’t you dare say country music.
You take a listen to both songs and let me know your thoughts. First up is “Roar” by Katy Perry.
Next up, Lady Gaga’s “Applause.”
Let’s be real, once these songs hit the radio and I hear them approximately sixty times within the next three months, they will get stuck in my head and I’ll be changing my negative tune.
That literally happened to me with Miley’s new song, “We Can’t Stop,” about four hours ago. When I first heard “We Can’t Stop,” all I felt was longing for the “Can’t Be Tamed” days. Now, I’m into the new Cyrus single and I’m wondering how long it will take me to twerk like that.
Honestly, is “Roar” and “Applause” as good as “E.T.” and “Bad Romance” were? Because they were God damn great! As Hilary Duff once said, “let’s go back, back to the beginning” and bring back those cool jams!