Celebrity Top 3

Jack Osbourne…put a ring on it

Photo Courtesy: ontheredcarpet.com

Unbeknownst to me, Jack Osbourne had a lady-friend. Well, she is no longer his lady-friend. She is now his fiancé…after four months of dating! Wouldn’t it be nice if I told you her name… it’s Lisa Stelly.

The future Mrs. Osbourne is a model and actress. You may have seen her in Green Day’s music video for “21st Century Breakdown.” The world found out this wonderful news via Twitter…where else? “The most amazing man I’ve ever met asked me to marry him, and he wasn’t joking! Crazy, right?” Stelly wrote.

This is a pretty big deal…I’m sure Sharon is screaming her face off with excitement. I remember being a younger version of myself and watching “The Osbournes” reality TV show on MTV and thinking, “who will ever want to marry these kids…they are so damn loud!” I guess there is a lid for every pot.

Fact of the day:  you can insure your breasts

Photo Courtesy: dailystab.com

How did I find out this awesome fact…from Hef’s ex-gf, Holly Madison! According to People.com, Holly took out an insurance policy through Lloyd’s of London for $1 million bones.

Since Holly stars in “Peepshow” at Planet Hollywood in Vegas, this makes total sense. I actually might go out and insure my tat-tats…you never know.

Holly told People.com, “I’ve heard about people getting body parts insured and I thought, why not?, because if anything happened to my boobs, I’d be out for a few months and I’d probably be out a million dollars,” she said. “I thought I’d cover my assets.”

During my research, I found that Holly isn’t the only one to have her breasticles insured. Dolly Parton insured her girls for $300,000 a piece. I also found out that Dolly is carrying around 40DD…bless your heart and your back.

Ashton and Demi…could it really be over?

Photo Courtesy: judiciaryreport.com

The rumor that Ashton and Demi are getting the big D is flaring up again. This time, it’s all Demi’s fault.

At the beginning of Sept., she tweeted a pic of her back and wrote, “remember…..you’ve got your own back.” Now that doesn’t sound particularly positive.

All week, Mrs. Kutcher has been tweetering many interesting things to hint that her marriage isn’t going so well.

  • “When we are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself & study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger. –Epictetus”
  • “I see through you…” Attached to this tweet was a sad picture of Demi with her eyes closed.

Amid rumors that Ashton has been unfaithful to his wife with mistress Sara Leal, these two didn’t even spend their 6th anniversary together. Demi was a premiere and Ashton was allegedly partying with Danny Masterson.

Even though Ashton was flashing his wedding ring on Thursday, this all seems suspicious. Has the age difference finally caught up with this couple? I guess we will just have to wait and see…I’m pretty sure when Demi changes her Tweeter name, we’ll know their marriage is finished. Team Demi.

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If celebs ruled ‘The Real World’

Photo Courtesy: mm-agency.com

Yes, I’m one of those people that still watches “The Real World.” I wish that I bought or stole a video camera so I could film my life and get my ass on that damn show. Who doesn’t want to put their life on hold for three months and drink on national television?

Last evening was the start of the 26th season of…dare I say…the first reality show. The cast has been relocated to San Diego…the same place that season 14 was filmed. MTV – get it together and pick new cities.

Anywho, “The Real World” got me thinking. What if we placed celebrities in a house and filmed what happened? Don’t even think about saying “The Surreal Life,” I’m talking real celebrities and not Mini Me. As you all know, there are classic “Real World” stereotypes. I will attempt to fill them with the appropriate celebs and magically create an unforgettable season.

Vin Diesel

Photo Courtesy: the-biomatrix.net

I would cast this street racer as the crazy drunk guy that beats people and/or walls. Every season has that guy who is intoxicated 94.8% of the time. A more recent example being, Adam from Las Vegas part II.

Adam had one too many at the bar…gets kicked out of a Las Vegas bar (I didn’t even know that could happen) and goes up to their suite and starts throwing glass and swinging at various roommates.

Whether or not Vin is a big partier, he’s got that bad boy twinkle in his eye. I can see him at the club dancing and having a good time…when he gets back to the house…ripping doors off hinges in a fit of rage. I wish I could be there to watch him rage out with his shirt off.

Julia Stiles

Photo Courtesy: howmuchdotheyweigh.com

I would cast this beauty as the girl who is single and ready to mingle, but has a 4.0 GPA. Almost every season, there is a lady on the show who likes to hit the town, but doesn’t become Snooki after a few cocktails.

This description reminds me from Kelley from New Orleans part I. She was the cool girl that everyone got along with. One evening while out at the bar, Kelley meets and scores a doctor …jackpot! After that gift from Jesus, Kelley was rarely seen on the season and I don’t blame her.

Julia Stiles would fit very nicely into this role. She earned an English Lit degree from Columbia University and can bust out sweet dances moves that will give you whiplash.

Julia describes herself as a feminist and she wrote an article in “The Guardian” back in 2004 about the roles she has taken on and what it means in our society.

Julia – you’re so smart, I feel like you would have the most inspiring moments in the confessional.

Tara Reid

Photo Courtesy: actorsfacts.net

Of course you need the girl who lives to party. There are just too many Real World alums to mention that have taken on this role with great pride. Many celebs came to mind while choosing this member for the celeb cast…Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Courtney Love…

Why did I choose Tara? Remember that time she lost her front tooth, glued it back in and continued to party?! She was so dedicated to the cause that she reportedly glued her own tooth back in. Paris and Lindsay – you should be ashamed of yourselves.

I was doing a little reading on Miss Reid and found out an interesting tidbit…she was born and raised in Jersey. If the whole tooth debacle didn’t convince you that Tara has earned the position as house partier, her home state should.

Tara – I won’t ever get over the tooth thing, but I would still like to party with you and live to tell the story.

Of course there is more…stay tuned!

Jessica Simpson – 1 Nick Lachey – 0

Photo Courtesy: thesuperficial.com

Rumors have been swirling that the “I Wanna Love You Forever” singer has a baby on board. Now, there is photographic evidence to go along with these rumors.

This past Monday, Simpson was spotted in Cabo San Lucas wearing a blue leopard top (there are blue leopards roaming this planet?!) that really didn’t do much to hide her baby bump…or whatever she’s got going on down there.

Jessica is 31-years-old…it’s about that time in a lady’s life that the ticking of her biological clock is getting louder and louder.

I don’t blame her for denying/trying to keep this a secret…her father is/was a minister after all! They usually frown upon getting knocked up before the marriage license is signed.

In Touch Weekly” has claimed that Jessica is “already having kooky cravings!” a friend shares, especially nacho chips dipped in chocolate — “which satisfy her urge for salty and sweet” — cheese-flavored popcorn and non-alcoholic margaritas.” Damn girl.

I’m going to try and do some mental math here…if Jessica is pregnant now, I’m pretty sure she will be extremely pregnant during the month of November. That’s when Jessica is reportedly getting hitched again…to her fiancé aka Eric Johnson. I guess he was just too irresistible…get it?

Jessica – I’m glad your getting hitched while pregs…Nick Lachey couldn’t do that even if he tried. I award you a point.

Kelly Clarkson – ‘Mr. Know It All’

Photo Courtesy: en.wikipedia.org

Today was a good day for one reason…Kelly Clarkson released a new music video! It’s a classic Clarkson video: hair blowing in the fake wind, wearing a shirt with the sleeves cut off and she’s bitching out a man! Good to know that some things never change.

What I’m wondering is what’s that contraption Kelly is using to control the TV? Can someone mail me this device? I’ll promote it on this blog like Kelly promoted it in her video. If not, I think I’ll live.

One thing I love about the video is how Kelly packed her bag and peaced out. Damn the man to hell that broke her heart!

Kelly – your hair is on point and it’s good to have you back. I can’t wait for the release of your new album, “Stronger” on October 24.

Where in the world is…

Kerr Smith

Photo Courtesy: charmed.wikia.com

You remember Jack McPhee…umm I mean Kerr Van Cleve Smith (what a name), right?

I was introduced to Kerr during season two of “Dawson’s Creek.” He played the shy/awkward, but irresistibly cute young gentleman who rescued Joey Potter from the venus fly trap also known as Dawson Leery.

Before I go into a Dawson Leery induced rage blackout, let’s do a little background on Kerr. Born in 1972 and raised in Exton, PA, which is around 30 miles from Philadelphia, Kerr decided to attend the University of Vermont. The dark-haired beauty obtained a degree in accounting (bless his heart…accounting is the devil’s work).

1996 was when Kerr began his acting career. His first gig was where many stars have began their career…daytime soaps…duh! Kerr shined in 24 episodes of “As The World Turns,” playing Teddy/Ellison ‘Ryder’ Hughes. Sadly, Kerr’s soap run ended in 1997.

1998 brought Kerr the gig that he is most well known for, even today…in my opinion. The gig I’m referring to is Jack McPhee on “Dawson’s Creek.” Appearing in a total of 113 episodes, Kerr’s character is credited with the very first gay kiss on television. Point Kerr.

A film you make recognize the “Dawson’s Creek” alum from is “Final Destination.” Spoiler Alert: I’m about 87.5% sure Kerr’s character (Carter Horton) kicks the bucket at the end…boo.

Photo Courtesy: naked.actors.nu

Along with being a certified pilot, Kerr was the very last celebrity to be “Punk’d” on that show Ashton Kutcher used to be on. Kerr also had a wife… Harmoni Everett. These two lovers were married in 2003, but filed for divorce in 2009.

I thought there was a Kerr Smith comeback looming on the horizon with The CW’s show “Life Unexpected.” Starring along Shiri Appleby (another WB alum) this show only lasted 26 episodes. Sad face.

So where in the world is Kerr now…he recently made a two episode cameo on “NCIS.” That’s all she wrote…for now.

Kerr – I’m single and ready to mingle…looks like you are too. I really dig your salt & pepper hair…call me.

Remember When…’The Addams Family’

Photo Courtesy: listal.com

For the final installment of my favise Christina Ricci movies, I have chosen…”The Addams Family.” Cue theme song.

“The Addams Family” started out as a cartoon by Charles Addams written for “The New Yorker.” It has grown from a cartoon into a TV series, movies and even a broadway show.

Ricci played the infamous character known as Wednesday Addams. Let me just say, Christina had the best skin tone and hair color for this character…it was a role she was born to play.

Photo Courtesy: media.photobucket.com

The character of Wednesday was first introduced to the world in 1938 and inherited her name from a nursery rhyme titled, “Monday’s Child.” The line goes as follows: “Wednesday’s child is full of woe.” If you have ever seen the Addams Family movies, you probably thought to yourself, “sounds about right.”

An interesting fact about this character…Wednesday’s middle name is Friday.

Wednesday offers up some hil.ari.ous quotes throughout the film. For example:

“Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they’re real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?”

With a budget of $38 million, “The Addams Family” grossed $191,502,246 worldwide. Seems that Christina hit another one out of the park with this film!

While I know this is a clip from “Addams Family Values,” it’s too good to pass up:

Remember when…’Casper’

Christina Ricci was in ‘Casper’ (the friendly ghost)

Photo Courtesy: snarkerati.com

This 1995 gem starred Christina and Bill Pullman…he must have had time off from being the President of the United States…sorry for the dated “Independence Day” reference.

Hopefully everyone on Earth has seen this film. If not, I am disappointed in you and here is a quick summary: Bill Pullman plays James Harvey, who is a therapist that can communicate with ghosts. Harvey is hired to speed up the process of getting four ghosts to move into the afterlife. He brings his daughter Kat (Christina Ricci) along for the ride. The movie has tons of fun hijinks that involve Casper’s 3 ghostly uncles. Casper also gets to become human for a short time and shares a dance with Kat at her school’s Halloween dance…such a moving moment.

Another thing I need to get off my chest – This film offers up one of the greatest quotes in movie history…“Can I keep you?” It gets me every time.

Btw – a young Devon Sawa played the human Casper…another Canadian-born gentleman I wouldn’t mind stalking.

“Casper” did quite well at the box office. With a $55 million budget, this film grossed $287,928,194 worldwide. Point numero dos for Christina.

Remember When…

Christina Ricci was a child actress?

Photo Courtesy: caughtonset.com

Since my roommates outvoted me on what television show we watched on Sunday evening, I had to sit through ABC’s new drama, “Pan Am.” I was slightly against this show for the demeaning to women undertones, but I won’t jump into that pool during this post.

Christina Ricci plays Maggie, one of the show’s main characters. While it’s hard to describe her character so early on, she seems to be playing a fun, upbeat girl who likes to break the rules. Tonight I learned that the Pan Am airline would suspend a stewardess if they weren’t wearing a girdle…how lovely.

Christina was born in February 12, 1980 in Santa Monica, California. This young lady was discovered at 8-years-old during a school play…“The Twelve Days of Christmas.” The story behind this role goes as follows: Christina was in competition for the role with another kid. According to a “New York Magazine” article, “Ricci taunted her rival so much that he socked her. When she tattled, he lost the part. “I’ve always been a really ambitious person,” she says. “I guess that’s the first time it really reared its ugly head.” You know your a boss when…

When I saw Christina’s familiar face on TV last evening, it felt like I was seeing an old friend. She has been on the big screen since 1990 and even though she has been on other TV shows and movies the past couple of years, I felt like I haven’t seen her in ages. I think it’s time to explore some favises Christina Ricci films!


Photo Courtesy: constellationcontemplation.blogspot.com

While Christina started out doing commercial work, she hit the jackpot in 1990 when she won the role of Kate Flax in “Mermaids.” As a reminder, “Mermaids” starred the second coming…Cher.

This film tells the story of Mrs. Flax (Cher) and her two daughters Kate (Christina Ricci) and Charlotte (Winona Ryder). Mrs. Flax loves men and sleeping with them. Charlotte, who is 15-years-old in the movie, wants to become a nun until she meets a sexy/quiet older gentleman who is the groundskeeper of the local church.

Kate is focused on becoming a swimmer…that’s pretty much all that they give her in this film.

Why the title? Cher dresses up as a mermaid for Halloween in the film. With a budget of $24 million, “Mermaids pulled in $35,419,397. Point Christina.

This music video from the film gives you all the highlights:

Christina – please share any piece of life advice that Cher bestowed unto you. I’m pretty sure that woman holds all the secrets of the universe.

Stay tuned for more classic Ricci films!

Random Fact of the Day

Instead of having knowledge about world events or state capitals, my noggin is filled with ridiculous facts about those celebrities we all know and love. Since strangers on the street don’t take to kindly to me screaming, “Hey! Did you know that…” I’ve decided to publish them on the interweb.

Jessica Simpson

Photo Courtesy: hair-styles.org

The year was 1993 – the “Mickey Mouse Club” was hosting auditions for their upcoming variety show. Little did we know that 86.4% of the kids on that show would be future stars. For example, B. Spears, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Gosling (Gos-Gos), Xtina Aguilera, Keri Russell, JC Chasez, among many others.

One name that isn’t on the list is Jessica Simpson. While she wanted to be on the show, when tryouts came around…she was beat out by Britney and Xtina…whomp whomp.

After seeing the force that was lil Xtina perform, Jessica freaked out. The ex-housewife remembers, “I froze and forgot everything.”

Poor Jessica Simpson, I feel like her whole career she’s been chasing after Spears and Aguilera. There was a point in time when Simpson was doing big things…remember the song “I Wanna Love You Forever?” It’s on my iPod (don’t judge).

I think the downward spiral began when Jessica and Nick Lachey’s relationship went to hell. Jessica kind of let herself and the music career go.

The “With You” singer has tried several things to get back in the spotlight, but nothing has velcroed yet. She does have a fiance though…point Jessica.

Jessica – Comebacks are in style theses days…

Celebrity Top 3

Lady Gaga is dead…just kidding

Photo Courtesy: ladygaga.com

Gaga has joined the ranks of Tom Cruise, Jeff Goldblum and even Lindsay Lohan.

I have to make a comment about Lohan. These online rumor spreaders said she kicked the bucket from an overdose…now that’s just way to believable. At least make up an interesting story like when Tom Cruise stumbled down that mountain in New Zealand.

If this cruel Gaga rumor was true, I’m pretty sure the world would stop spinning and we would have to relocate to another planet. I feel like a world without Gaga would be equivalent to most scenes in “The Matrix.”

According to E! News, “…some enterprising cybercriminals have been spreading the following headline via Facebook: “BREAKING: Lady Gaga Found Dead in Hotel Room” along with a link to a BBC News story and a description reading “This is the most awful day in US history.”

In reality, when people clicked the link, it guided you to a fake website with a video that was supposed to be the news story about Gaga’s demise. When clicked on, it spammed your Facebook account with the same link in order to get your friends to visit the scam site.

These scammers are getting really clever! Hey – If I had seen it, I probably would have clicked it.

Have no fear Gaga disciples, your goddess is still breathing…she was at the Giants game getting crunk last night.

She’s just being Miley (still funny)

Photo Courtesy: crushable.com

Apparently Miley Cyrus has become another victim in the “I’m a celebrity and scandalous photos of me leaked onto the interweb.”

I say apparently because of the way this scandalous photo looks (it’s on your left). It appears to be professionally taken. Hannah Montana has great hair, great lighting, great pose and a nice background scene.

What I keep reading is that many people think the photo is sooo racy and that Miley may have leaked it herself because she felt left out/forgotten.

Whether or not this photo was leaked, stolen or given to the media by Miley herself, I don’t see what the big deal is. She’s 18 and is legally allowed to do whatever she wants.

If she wants photos taken of her texting while wearing intimate apparel and red high heels, go for it. You better do it while your young…shit only goes south with age.

R.E.M. is getting a divorce…everybody hurts

Photo Courtesy: photos.lucywho.com

Rock band R.E.M. announced (via their website) they are splitting up after 30 years of musical marriage. The band’s joint statement revealed the following sad message:

“To our Fans and Friends: As R.E.M., and as lifelong friends and co-conspirators, we have decided to call it a day as a band. We walk away with a great sense of gratitude, of finality, and of astonishment at all we have accomplished. To anyone who ever felt touched by our music, our deepest thanks for listening.”

Even though I only like/knew of two R.E.M. songs (“Losing My Religion” and “Everybody Hurts”), I was still slightly shocked that this iconic band is “calling it a day.” After 15 albums and you’re calling it a day…I feel slightly betrayed here!

What does that even mean, “calling it a day?” I always thought that this meant you’ve been working hard on something and you go home to binge eat SunChips and/or slumber, but you’ll be back to work tomorrow!

So maybe, R.E.M. will pull a Jay-Z and say that they are “retiring” but release an album with Kanye West a few months down the road.


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