You’re beautiful – it’s true

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In preparation for the Britney Spears concert, I went to the store to pick up some supplies. While in line, I saw the cover of this weeks “Life & Style Weekly,” which contained one of my idols on the cover…Katie Holmes. This week’s cover states “Desperate to be Skinny.”

According to “Life & Style Weekly,” Katie is only consuming “a little more than diet coke and tea.” The magazine is saying her weight is the only thing she can control in her life, since her crazy ass husband controls everything else. Oh and that she’s down to 106 pounds. The Gossip Center posted some pictures of Katie that were taken on July 26th and she looks as wonderful as ever!

Whether or not we should be concerned about Joey Potter’s weight loss is up to your desecration, but let’s get to the real issue at hand…Tom Cruise. Now when these two got together, I thought to myself “This is ok, it will boost Katie into the spotlight she deserves.” Well little did I know she would get impregnated, marry him and stay with him! Ugh.

If Tom is the reason why Katie is dropping this weight, I will have no problem shipping my self UPS overnight to their home and beating him up. Not that I would get within 20 feet of him, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

Katie- I have loved you pre-Tom and will love you post-Tom. Get it together girl!

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Remember When…

Joshua Jackson was in “Urban Legend”

Yes, let’s bring it back to the 90s horror genre when you couldn’t pick up the phone without being asked “what’s your favorite scary movie?” or someone leaving you a note that read “I know what you did last summer.”

“Urban Legend” gave us another one of these classy horror films. As the movie progresses, we see the characters being knocked off one-by-one. Tara Reid, Rebecca Gayheart and Jared Leto also star in this Academy Award nominated film (I kid, I kid).

In my opinion, I will  vote for “Urban Legend” as the best of the 90s horror films for the sole fact that Joshua Jackson graced us with his presence. Even though I wasn’t a huge fan of his blonde locks, I’m willing to forgive. Put this DVD in your Netflix’s queue before they make that 60% price increase!

“I was half a virgin when I met him”

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Well, well, well look what the Kat dragged in. It seems like the couple formally known as Kat Von D and Jesse James (*cough* cheater *cough*) have called off their engagement. Point Sandra!

This announcement kinda shocked me a little bit. I recently saw a clip for the new season of “L.A. Ink” where we see Kat and Jesse together during the happier times in their relationship. Kat even states that they are in a “long-distance relationship, we’re just making it work.” I guess what they say about long-distance relationships is true…THEY DON’T WORK!

How did the world find out about this split? Tweeter…duh! Kat sent out a message saying, “I am no longer w Jesse and out of respect for him, his family and myself, that’s all the info I’d like to share.” I hope Sandra is having a celebratory cocktail right now!

I’m not saying all this out of disrespect to Kat Von D. I think she’s a sweet ass lady. I will even link to the promo for her new season of “L.A. Ink.” I think the one good thing that will come out of this is a total ratings boost for TLC.

This is what I have to say to you Jesse…Boo, you whore. No one puts Sandra in a corner.

“Blog it Like it’s Hot”

While I always thought that “Ooh Ooh Baby” by Britney Spears was my life’s anthem, I may stand corrected after finding this cool jam.

Teen activist…Bristol Palin

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I was watching Dr. Drew’s show on HLN and you could probably guess who the guest was. One of the most well known teen moms, Bristol Palin is all up in our grills lately. From “Dancing with the Stars” to Dr Drew’s show on HLN, I’ve seen her more than I see my roommates!

Let’s take it back. Sarah Palin gets chosen to be McCain’s VP candidate and we meet Bristol, Sarah’s daughter. Side note: Bristol is dating the glorious-looking Levi Johnston. We all know that Levi gets her pregs and Bristol becomes a mom at 18. I thought this couple was going to be high school sweethearts…I was wrong…dead wrong.

While many thought because of Sarah’s pro-life views that Bristol was basically forced to have the baby. Bristol, of course, denies this. Btw: McCain and his advisors totally knew Bristol was pregs, probably even before Levi knew. Damn they are good. Fast-forwarding to public battle with Levi for custody and then us getting punked by the pair with a fake engagement, Bristol landed a gig on “Dancing with the Stars.” Was I pumped to see this!

When the teen mom was introduced, she was announced as “Teen Activist…Bristol Palin.” Many of us who watched “Dancing with the Stars” said to themselves…”huh?” Sadly, Bristol did not win, but she came pretty dame close.

Cut to today, it turns out that Bristol has quite the motivational speaking career, asking anywhere between $15,000 to $30,000 for each event she graces with her presence. But wait, there’s more! She also released a book titled, “Not Afraid of Life.” You know what, I say go for it Bristol, but stop telling people you’re a teen activist. Just tell us about your story and LEVI <3

Multitasking Songbirds

For quite some time, we have seen many singers creeping onto the silver screen. While some of these singers do a good job with their voyage into the acting world, some just offer us something to talk about, make fun of or create drinking games about. Below are some of my favsies singers who are or have been trying to gain some credibility in Hollywood.

Crossroads…It’s Britney Bitch

In her Academy Award winning role, Britney Spears plays Lucy, who is a slightly sheltered girl that graduates from high school and decides to take an impromptu trip with her old friends. Throughout the journey, the girls and the random man who drives them around, hit some bumpy spots. For example, when the group needs money to fix their vehicle. Britney and her girlfriends decide to enter a karaoke contest and end up kicking ass. Hello, Britney is a Grammy award-winning entertainer.

Another highlight is when Britney lands a man! While he’s no Justin Timberlake, he’s still bringing sexy back. If you haven’t seen this movie, it’s a must. If you don’t own it, please purchase it because Britney’s kids will eventually need college tuition.

Mandy Moore..It was a walk to remember

Mandy Moore was certainly dissed by the Academy on this one. Moore played Jamie, who was the daughter of a strict pastor that falls for Shane West’s character aka “the bad boy.” This perfect couple falls in love and when you think everything is ok…BAM you pretty much get hit by a bus!

Spoiler Alert: Mandy Moore get sick and dies in the movie! Do not watch unless you want to weep.

On another note, after Shane West finds out his lady is sick, he does everything he can to make her last days enjoyable. He even gets down on one knee and asks Jamie to marry him. As a female watching this movie I have to say one thing: THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE. Where do we find a man as good as Shane West. Ugh.

Justin Timberlake expands his social network

Even though I am on Team Britney, I do have to say JT is giving it his all in regards to acting. He’s been in a handful movies recently. He killed it in “The Social Network” and rumor has it he’s not going to be making any sweet music for some time! While I think keeping his hot beat boxing skills to himself is a sin, I don’t mind seeing him on the big screen without a top on. Point Britney for wrangling in JT.

Jenny Going Back to the Block?

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Yes, the rumors are true; J.Lo and Marc Anthony are getting the big D (divorce). After seven glorious years, which included twin babies, the highly acclaimed film “El Cantante” and a duet that I don’t understand one word of – this power couple is no longer.

Let’s take it back to a time where J.Lo was just exiting one of her more popular romances known as “Bennifer.” Once her and Ben Affleck finally noticed that it was just plain awkward that they were an item and decided to end it, J.Lo wasted no time. A little less than two months after her split from Ben, J.Lo was seen with Marc Anthony! (gasp)

As for Marc’s side in this, let’s remember he was a married man. Marc and his wife at the time, Dayanara Torres decided to separate in 2003. Marc and  Torres were officially divorced in June 2004. Marc and J.Lo were married just four days later. Homewrecker anyone?

Even after kissing and practically marrying all those damn frogs, I was sure that J.Lo had finally found her prince charming. Welp, the world has been blindsided once again. We the people have found out that J.Lo and her man are separating.

A joint statement released by the couple stated:

“We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters. It is a painful time for all involved, and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time.”

J.Lo, I still can’t forget you and Ja Rule singing that song “I’m Real.” Maybe you could be real with Ja Rule? I’m not sure if he’s in jail, but I’m sure you could work around that. Team J.Lo 4ever

Remember Whens…

In honor of the fact that my roommates and I have decided to tackle all six glorious seasons of “Dawson’s Creek,” I’ve decided to blog about some fond memories from the creek.

Pacey engaged in a student-teacher relationship

Let’s get serious here. Who didn’t want to get a little closer to one of their teachers in high school, college or whatever other higher educational institution you may have attended.  Ok, maybe it’s just me, but ever since I watched Pacey and Miss Jacobs’ relationship begin and (sadly) end, I have felt the need to find a tall, dark and handsome teacher to tutor me (it’s ok, I’m of age). Since I’m still in the process of meeting my goal, I occasionally look back and take notes on how to successfully obtain a student-teacher relationship. One thing you take away from Pacey and Tamara’s relationship…you don’t talk about it!

Dawson Leery cries…fail

While some Dawson fans may disagree with me, I think this is Dawson Leery’s most noble moment. After making Pacey and Joey suffer for basically an entire season, Dawson finally realizes that Joey is so over him. He finally frees Joey from the Leery State Penitentiary; Joey bolts to Pacey where they happily sail off into the sunset. In the fall, when everyone’s favorite couple returns, we get almost an entire season of these two lovebirds. Too bad Dawson’s only got a couple episodes with Joey.

Spoiler Alert: All roads do not lead back to you Dawson!

There was Joey, Pacey and a campfire…

As for best Joey and Pacey moment, I decided I’m not going with the most obvious choice. The most obvious choice being that time when they were on the senior ski trip where they stayed overnight in  a log cabin.

I chose this scene because I always weep when I watch it and it’s probably when Joey realized she rather be on Team Pacey. I also like the fact that earlier in the episode the pair was caught canoodling by Dawson’s Aunt Gwen and still decide to canoodle for a second time! Side note: Joey, your jean jacket is pretty sweet.

Celebrity Top 3

Sorry for the delay in posting! Don’t worry, I haven’t abandoned you. Here we go!

Hold onto your pants…Lohan is at large

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After she plead no contest to allegedly stealing a necklace, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to some “me” time. By the skin of her teeth Lohan weaseled her way out of shacking up in a real prison and got to spend her days at home.

Well Jesus has shined his light on Lohan and has set her free. After serving 35 days on house arrest, Caddy Heron is a free woman.

While at home, Lindsay did some high quality advertising for and The National Inflation group. Now she is celebrating her freedom, turning 25 and just being Lindsay.

We want to see you out and about not trapped inside like a caged animal. Keep it together Lohan!

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver…sad face

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Always looking like a solid couple, Maria Shriver has decided to file for divorce from Govenorator Arnold. After 25 years together, 4 children and a love child…Maria has had enough. Let’s be real…she’s doing the right thing. No one demeans Maria and gets away with it.

Here is what I have to say. Maria, take a page out of Carrie Underwood’s book and dig your key into his car and/or smash a baseball bat into the headlights…it will feel better.

Come back Vinny…come back

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It has been reported that the love of Snooki’s life has left “The Jersey Shore.” (Gasp!) While the shore crew just returned from Italy for season 4, they immediately jumped into filming season 5 in Seaside Heights. That constant partying can take its toll…trust me.

One of the reasons that Vinny may or may not have left the show was because of homesickness. Being away from your family for that long is not fun, but for the money they are raking in, it’s worth it.

With this news, two very important questions come to mind: 1. What will happen to MVP…will it just be MP?

2. Will there still be a special MTV special titled, “Snooki and Vinny…A Love Story?” A girl can only hope.


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